Hey, thank you so much for opening up here, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that these feelings have left you confused, I'm here to hopefully give you a little clarity from my experiences.
Having thoughts about others whilst being in a relationship could mean different things, and they're not necessarily bad.
Have you had polyamorous feelings prior to being with your partner at all? Thoughts of wanting to be with multiple people, or the feeling that you could be with multiple people? Thinking about this may help you understand whether this is an untapped desire of yours, or whether this doesn't feel quite accurate for you.
Are these feelings arising about specific people, or is it just the urge in general?
It could represent a need that's not being adequately fulfilled in your relationship, and it may be worth reflecting on what you need to feel fulfilled in a relationship, and whether your partner achieves this. To that end, it could be a case of wanting to experiment more sexually, which may incur a conversation about trying once to introduce another person. This definitely requires some reflection though, a decision like this takes time to consider and develop before bringing the idea to your partner, particularly if you've been together for a while.
Otherwise, it could just be an unfulfilled need outside of the relationship, like needing a rush of adrenaline or thrill. Exercise can often fulfill this need, like playing a sport, going for a hike or a run, rock climbing etc. Anything active.
If you have any more you'd like to get off your chest or anything you'd like to know, feel free to chat some more with us. We're here to help. I hope some of this resonates with you but if not, I'm happy to give some more suggestions of avenues to consider.
All the best, SB
