My depressed teenage daughter dating a marijuana addict and now is too!!

[AWILL]

I really can't believe it when the words come out of my mouth " my beautiful, intelligent 15 y.o daughter is addicted to dope as is her boyfriend"

I don't know the girl we're living with. We used to have a bubbly, funny gorgeous well adjusted soul. We have a happy family and a beautiful life. In year 10this year she has really struggled this year with school, friends etc which is generally quite normal during these adolescent years. We've sought medical advice and she has been prescribed anti-depressants which seemed to be helping along with loads of support. Unfortunately having very low self esteem, a couple of months ago she started dating a 16 y.o boy, also with depression but who also happens to smoke a large amount of marijuana. I didn't like him from day one but of course you can't say that to a 15 y.o in "love"!!!

I suspected she also might be partaking but when she started ditching school to hang out with him, her behaviour dramatically changed and her will to do anything disappeared we were left in no doubt. She finally admitted it and we seemed to be helping her withdraw but any suggestion that the boyfriend is not a bad person but just not good for her and contact should be limited results in unparalleled breakdowns.

over the past few weeks we appeared to be on top of it but today it was bought to our attention (along which suspiscion due to behaviour again and many false denials) she was smoking again, and he was faciliting it. Once again saying that she would only see him On our terms resulted in another breakdown.

We just don't know what to do next. People say -just stop her seeing him!!! If only it were that easy, forbidding a teenager to see her 'love' drives her further into his arms. She can't see that she can't be around people who will facilitate drug use especially given her delicate mental state. I know she is angry at me but I keep assuring her that the Decisions we are making are from love and concern for her welfare??

this is just a nightmare. Will it end??? 😰

[Zeal]

Hi AWILL,

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for posting!

It is understandable that you are concerned about your teen daughter smoking marijuana, due to the not-so-good influence of her boyfriend. You sound like a great Mum, and she is lucky (whether she realises it or not) to have your unwavering love and support. You raise a great point - that outright forbidding your daughter from seeing this boy will most likely have negative consequences.

It is good that your daughter was able to admit that she is taking drugs. She sounds like a sensible girl, but is being led astray by this boy. It's important that your daughter knows that taking drugs while on antidepressants (regardless of the type of drug) can have negative consequences, such as worsening mental health symptoms. Drugs also interfere with the effectiveness of antidepressants. Taking your daughter to see the doctor who prescribed the antidepressants is a good idea. Hopefully the doctor can help your daughter better understand how dangerous drug taking is, especially when on medication for a mental health condition. In addition, seeing a counsellor is a wise move.

I hope you and your daughter can work together to improve this situation.

Best wishes,

Zeal

[CAR]

Our 14yo daughter is going through a very similar thing , she split up with her BF of almost a year back in April and has been diagnosed depressed since. She has been struggling but we did see massive improvements since starting on medication. Sadly two weeks ago she’s connected with a 16 yo boy who’s telling her everything she wants to hear right now, she disappeared two weeks ago and refused to come home. She agreed for police to do a welfare check on her and dad turned up same time and made her come home by taking her mobile. She had no intention of coming home otherwise. We had tried calling the boy and the girl she was with, both lied and said she was t with them. Then this Saturday just gone after a week of keeping an eye on her and seeming better again, she did it all over again. Police said nothing they can do as she’s making contact to say she’s not coming home. I’ve seen photos of the kids she’s with smoking and vaping, each to their own but she’s only 14 and is also a bright girl who has plans to become a sports physio. She disappeared at 8am Saturday and didn’t return home until 3.15pm Sunday. We were worried sick and made worse by said BF sending us photo of his bed with caption ‘who doin wat’. She’s now refusing to go to school as her friends who gave her no support when she was crying out for it, have said she’s too much trouble. Everyone has turned against her. She made a mistake. We want her to learn from it and move on but I fear when he’s filling her head with bad ideas and whatever drug he’s giving to her she’s unknown to us, vacant. It’s breaking our hearts. Anyway, did you get any advice at all?