Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

SmashingPumpkings69 How do I support my adult children
  • replies: 1

What can I do when my son of 27 years old that has recently been diagnosed with ADHD does not answer my text and phone calls . He left home (not my home but my ex-wifes home ) about 1 and halve years ago. He recently asked me if he could move into my... View more

What can I do when my son of 27 years old that has recently been diagnosed with ADHD does not answer my text and phone calls . He left home (not my home but my ex-wifes home ) about 1 and halve years ago. He recently asked me if he could move into my home when he lease runs out . I said he could and invited him to come around for barbecue . He cancelled on me three times and this time said he did not feel like coming around becuase of his sleep patterns in a text (that is all he said) . He has not been in contact with my ex wife for two weeks as well . I worry about him as he quit his job about 2 months ago.

iamjustlostandneedhelp TW: Rape and my relationship
  • replies: 4

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worri... View more

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worries me on a day to day basis. I just recent found porn saved onto his phone and when I confronted him about it he said its because he cant get hard when he looks at me because he thinks of me being raped. He says he doesnt want to make me do anything that I dont want to do and he doesn't want to hurt me, which is wonderful and I am thankful for that but I have told him that Im ok and and he has never hurt me, if I didnt want something I would say so. He just cant seem to get over it though. I dont know how to go about this, how do I help him heal from the trauma. It sorta doesnt make sense to me, he wasnt there, I didnt even know him at the time and like theres nothing he could do. He helped me through it all so hes done literally everything in his power to make me comfortable but I just cant seem to do it with him. He says he has really been struggling mentally recently and I brought up the importance of talking about whats going on and not hiding things and he says he knows its just too hard. Does anyone have any recommendations on what to do about this situation

Guest_1584 living alone
  • replies: 741

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ? No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all. l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs... View more

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ? No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all. l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone. It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons. But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes. This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself. But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

snakes_ladders Can’t make friends
  • replies: 8

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. Ho... View more

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. However one thing has always tormented me since I was little. Despite my best efforts to always be nice and respectful, people tend to not like me. Mostly other men. Many are polite with me and receive me well, but always in a group there are a few who don’t seem like me at all.In some groups, a few doesn’t even bother to look at me and say hi. But in most groups, whilst we can engage in good conversations during say a party, nothing really develops after and effective becomes more an acquaintance rather than friends. Feeling I have is that wether I’m there or not it is indifferent. When I try to be more present and speak up to be more of a presence in parties, my voice seems to fade away as people seem to hear but not listen. This is killing me as I struggle to be part of any group. I play sports and can’t bind with the team, resulting in slowly stop to being part of the team. At work, I don’t make the strong bonds between peers. I can’t make friends with the parents of my kids friends, and miss opportunities to create a nice group of friends for them as well. Any suggestions or words would be much appreciated. Thanks and apologies the long text.

N888 Teenage daughter
  • replies: 29

My relationship is not good with my 20 year daughter and she is rebelling against us. I need advice please.

My relationship is not good with my 20 year daughter and she is rebelling against us. I need advice please.

icecreamspider Angry at my family over a dog :(
  • replies: 3

Hi, i’m not sure which topic this goes under but i need help. backstory: I’ve never been fully comfortable around dogs. I was terrified of them as a kid and i don’t feel like i can really relax around them now. My family, knowing this, have decided t... View more

Hi, i’m not sure which topic this goes under but i need help. backstory: I’ve never been fully comfortable around dogs. I was terrified of them as a kid and i don’t feel like i can really relax around them now. My family, knowing this, have decided to get a dog. I’m scared of not being able to relax in my own home, but my family don’t really seem to care all that much. I know my dad does, he says if it were up to him he wouldn’t get the dog, apparently he turns around and tells everyone else how excited he is, which makes me feel a bit betrayed that he’s lying to me. My mum says she cares. My brother insulted me, i said i felt like i deserved compensation for getting it, all i asked was that they choose a name i’d actually like, my brother called me petty and spiteful for that.big problem :This has happened within the last week, and over this week i’ve been feeling angrier and angrier at my family. It sounds entitled. It probably is. But this is genuinely affecting my mental health. I feel so angry when i see dogs or things relating to dogs and i feel so angry at my family, especially my brother for it. This sounds really childish, i’m sure. But i’m so angry i don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t think i could stand having to live with a dog, I don’t want to be angry at some innocent dog. when my parents said they’d get the dog that first night my mum said she thought the dog would be good for everyone and i asked her “is it really all that good if it’s actively making me feel worse” she said “i guess not” and hasn’t seemed to have thought about it since. i was already doing bad mentally when my parents sprung this on me, and i was getting a bit better but now i’m getting worse. I don’t know how many times i’ve said this but i don’t know what to do. I’m so angry at my family, especially my brother that i want to break things. I want to throw things and trash something, i don’t know how to deal with this anger. I’ve never felt like this.

Meg1977 Bad mother
  • replies: 1

I feel like a horrible mother. When I grew up my mother was never emotionally invested in me so when I had children I promised myself to love them unconditionally and do whateva to make them feel good about themselves. I maybe did the last part too m... View more

I feel like a horrible mother. When I grew up my mother was never emotionally invested in me so when I had children I promised myself to love them unconditionally and do whateva to make them feel good about themselves. I maybe did the last part too much because I would always and still do try to fix everything for them from friendship issues to backing them in arguments with their father. My children are 18 and 16 and at times struggle with mental health as I do and I believe I have made these alot worse for them. The three of us are always doom and gloom when upset and go to extremes of depression. A current example is my eldest is struggling to get his license and gets soo down on himself and then I get guilt because I didnt raise my kids right by giving them strategies and coping skills when things dont go right and I struggle cos I cant fix this. I keep telling him to stop crying and itll all be ok but I am in soo much pain watching him suffer. My husband his father just tells us both to suck it up and keep going but I wanna hide and run away.

Mysterious987 Want some feedback please
  • replies: 3

My father in my eyes is a grandiose narcissist, He is highly selfish, He is socially over powering, If something doesn't directly affect him then he doesn't want to know about the problem and it's up to us to solve it. His got misogyn and sexism aspe... View more

My father in my eyes is a grandiose narcissist, He is highly selfish, He is socially over powering, If something doesn't directly affect him then he doesn't want to know about the problem and it's up to us to solve it. His got misogyn and sexism aspects and many years ago in the older generations he committed violent assaults on homosexual men. He once told me I'm disabled when I'm a regular person, He can lower your intelligence and you develop this under confident mute social psychological effects where you lose confidence with communication or hearing yourself speak, and that also is affected by high school bullying I experienced ten years ago from a malignant narcissistic friend . He treats my mother as a stupid un employed useless house maid, He doesn't respect her and he bullies her. He sais my Centrelink pension is a allowance when it's not even given by a immediate family member. He treats anything under appearance wither your fashion or weight or wanting to have a appealing house as you being superficial & vain

teaBee Feeling lonely
  • replies: 2

I have a best friend. Well I used to. I’ve put so much energy and tried to reach out so many times. But she never has time for me. Then I see her post 100 pic of her out with so many other friends. But never me. Why do the people I love never make an... View more

I have a best friend. Well I used to. I’ve put so much energy and tried to reach out so many times. But she never has time for me. Then I see her post 100 pic of her out with so many other friends. But never me. Why do the people I love never make any time for me. When we hang out it’s fun and the best because we are so alike. Afterwards she always tells me how much she missed me and how fun it was and we should hang out more. But every time I ask I am forgotten and left out. I’ve even brought this up with her and she apologised and said she’d change. But nothing changed. What should I do here I feel so alone

floydoss girlfriend still friends with guys shes slept with in the past
  • replies: 11

so i know it seems stupid but it really bothers me that my girlfriend is still friends with guys she used to sleep with one is an ex from high school (years ago) and the others are just friends she had casual sex with now and again before we met. i k... View more

so i know it seems stupid but it really bothers me that my girlfriend is still friends with guys she used to sleep with one is an ex from high school (years ago) and the others are just friends she had casual sex with now and again before we met. i know it shouldnt bother me and it seems childish but i really hate that she hangs out with them and talks to them, i was brought up fairly conservative like ive had a few partners but after we break up we you know, break up and go our separate ways. ive never really had to deal with this situation before and i dont want to come off as controlling or crazy but every time i see her friend that she used to sleep with i just want to break his face to bits. btw i do trust her and im pretty sure she is not sleeping with anyone else at all but the fact that she hangs out with them bothers me on some instinctual level like i almost feel like im not a real man if she still feels the need to have them in her life like am i not enough for her? or sometimes i wonder if she thinks about the fact that she used to sleep with them when they hang out, does she get nostalgic sometimes? am i in the wrong here for being really annoyed about it? i convinced her to throw out all the clothes she had of theres from when she was with them because to me wearing another guys hoodies is pretty much him walking onto my lawn and slamming his flag on my property and i hated it. am i just being an asshole or do i have a right to be angry about it all? i need advice