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Still being harassed by my narcissistic ex even after break up
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I was with my ex for 6 years. At the beginning of the relationship everything was great. He said and did all the right things. Everything did seem too perfect which should have been a red flag but I just took it as being lucky enough to find the perfect man.
He some how convinced me to move states. Away from my family and friends which I was ok with but things started to change as soon as we moved away.
He would leave me at home while being out with his work mates for hours. The excessive binge drinking started which would go on for days then weeks then months at end.
If I raised concerns about his drinking then he would disappear for days without telling me where he is then come back home randomly expecting me to forget everything and move on.
He would yell and scream at me and when I asked him to stop the abuse he would clearly tell me that he is not abusing me and it is only abuse if he physically harms me.
Eventually he started bringing girls home while I was away and would sleep with them in our bed.
The abuse got bad and there is a lot more he has said and done but I am too scared to share it here in case he finds this post.
We ended up settling our assets and moving seperate ways a few weeks ago but he still kept contacting me.
Actually pointed out how much of a good guy he is that he took the bed with him cause he couldn’t bear for me to use it.
i ended up telling him that I know a lot more of what he has done which I can’t share here to which he threatened me that he will sue me for defamation if he finds out I’ve spoken to anyone about him.
Then thing is that what I know isn’t a lie and I’ve got prove of it all plus I know that he has gone around spreading lies about me.
I know that if he does sue me that nothing will come out of it because I’ve got prove of his abuse etc but I am still tired because he has put me thru the hell of going to court before.
I would have won them aswell but the whole process was so draining , time consuming and expensive that i cannot be put thru it again.
He doesn’t have a leg to stand but I can’t understand how or why he is still trying to contact me and scare me.
we both agreed on NO CONTACT but the next day he would message me or call me. If I don’t respond then he gets angry.
i am scared that if I block him then he would get angry and harm me some other way.
I am so scared.
Does this end?
How do I stop being so scared all the time?
I have really good support from my family and friends.
Everything else in life is fine.
Its just that he won’t leave me alone still.
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Hello Durga_M
This sounds very frustrating & frightening for you. I was thinking 'block him' when yu wrote that blocking him may makie him more angry & you more fearful of what that might mean. So, now I get the idea, what he's doing is harrassing you, so I would suggest getting help from people who are more knowledgable about such situations as this one is for you. May I suggest calling 1800 RESPECT - 1800 737 732. I think they can help you sort out what your options are a whlole lot better than I can.
As you say, going to court is expensive, so I really hope you can avoid doing that again, & somehow get yourself free from him without having to disrupt your entire life & mental health in the process.
Beyond Blue takes your privacy very seriously, so if you have any concerns, talk to them directly. Truly, I think there is little to worry because people come here from all over Australia. There is no way he could be sure you are writing here, because of this fact, & that, sadly, you are not the only one in this sort of situation, If you continue to feel vulnerable on these forums, then you can certainly call BB Counsellors on 1300 224 636 for more information & support.
Hugzies
mmMekitty
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Oh, & if you still feel he might identify you as have written here, then you can always ask BB to remove your thread/post, for your own sense of safety, which I would say comes first.
Just use the 'Report Post' link below your post & ask for your thread to be removed. Then submit to the moderators.
Hugzies
mmMekitty