Ever since I was little, my parents would ignore me and it doesn't get better as the years go on. They pay a lot of attention to my older sister and some to my younger sister, but I feel so unwanted. My parents spend most of their time on their forums. My Mum uses a horse forum and I have to hear her carry-on on it. She talks out loud as she reads and types on there and also bursts out laughing or getting really mad at tiny things on that site. My Dad ignores me even more than my Mum does. I can sometimes have a semi-conversation with my Mum, but not with my Dad.
I have tried to talk to them about how I feel many times. My Dad said "Well, what can you do to make yourself more interesting so I will want to talk to you?" which made me cry and he didn't care, he just rolled his eyes.
My Mum practically only wants to talk to me about horses, gardening, writing, clouds, ping pong, water color, horse poo, grass, using horse poo as mulch for gardening, etc. I actually think horses, gardening, writing and water color is really cool, but its ALL she EVER talks to me about so I get really sick of it. I've explained this to her many times and she just laughs and angrily says "Maybe I just won't talk to you then."
When they do talk to me, they usually only talk about their interests and most of our conversations are extremely superficial. My Mum will say to me "Hey Earth Girl, that leaf had a shadow on it, and look, now the shadow is on the other leaf" like WOW, that is SO amazing!? She often also talks AT me rather than to me and she sometimes just talks at me for about an hour. I feel like a lot of the time when she tries to talk to me, it's more so she can feel like she's doing her job as a parent rather than because she actually wants to talk to me, like, "okay, I had a conversation with her today, so I'll just tick that off my list" type of thing.
She does try harder than my Dad does though.
I feel like I'm never going to be able to be close to my parents (though I don't like them much anyway). My psychologist says she finds the way my parents talk to me sad (they would sometimes come with me to appointments) and that I should try making my own family with friends but I really struggle making friends too.
My Mum says that I could always try starting a conversation with them, but I don't feel comfortable doing so because I feel awkward talking to my own parents. I can barely even talk to them about how my day went or work/school. They don't want to know me.
