Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

_road58 A small attempt to be better
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm 28 and I love with my parents. I am from a south asian background. I wish to leave my parents home and live on my own. But i don't see that happening until i get married or if i do end up moving on my own my parents might disown me. I'm sure t... View more

Hi I'm 28 and I love with my parents. I am from a south asian background. I wish to leave my parents home and live on my own. But i don't see that happening until i get married or if i do end up moving on my own my parents might disown me. I'm sure this is a story of every kid with strict parents. I only see my gf once a week and even then I have to lie to my parents about where i am. If im home, i spend most of my days in my room. Im reaching out because i think all of it is getting to my head. The stress is spilling over at my friends and gf. I end up saying things i dont mean. I snap at people that did nothing wrong. I've never tried therapy. Talking about how i feel isnt my strenghth. Thats one of the things that upsets my gf as i dont like talking about these things. It makes her think i don't trust her. It upsets her very much. I guess im here so i can be better. For her sake atleast. Can someone help?

RainyRae I feel like I'm not being listened to
  • replies: 1

Hi. So both me and my partner are going through a tough time which is making things very difficult. I've been doing my best to help them with all of their stuff and giving them space when they need it but when it comes to me I feel like I'm not being... View more

Hi. So both me and my partner are going through a tough time which is making things very difficult. I've been doing my best to help them with all of their stuff and giving them space when they need it but when it comes to me I feel like I'm not being listened to or getting the support I need. Obviously I don't want to lean on them or anything but whenever I say I need something they decide to do whatever the opposite is. Like, they've promised to spend a day with me so we have some time together but they end up deciding to hang out with someone else. I want them to see their friends but it feels like they're putting everyone before me and it's making it kinda hard to trust them.Today kinda broke me though. They once again promised to spend the day with me but when they came home they told me they've decided to go to Bathurst to spend a week with someone else and that they had to pack everything right now and wouldn't give me 5 minutes to talk about it.While they were packing they told me they just needed a week away to think about things and to have a break of Sydney.It's been about 10hrs since they've left and I haven't heard a word from them even though I've sent them a couple of messages asking how the trip is and if they've gotten there safe. They do tend to ignore my messages even when it's important but will respond to messages sent by friends in group chats we're in. I guess I feel kinda hurt and upset by it cause again it just feels like they're putting everyone else before me even though I'm their partner.Idk how to deal with this but I know we both don't want to break up while we're in this mindset.

lucylisa LDR trouble
  • replies: 1

During this time I was constantly wishing for my own space, we both have very different needs in a relationship, I’m the kind of person that is very independent and prefers space and time to myself while she is the opposite and if we could be togethe... View more

During this time I was constantly wishing for my own space, we both have very different needs in a relationship, I’m the kind of person that is very independent and prefers space and time to myself while she is the opposite and if we could be together constantly she would absolutely prefer it. We have discussed this and she knows that we are both like this and there is an effort to make compromises (after some waterworks from her side) If I would go out I would stress that she’s unhappy because I’m all she has over here. Every time I bring up an issue with a relationship she breaks down and becomes an emotional wreck, no matter how small the issue is she thinks I am going to break up with her or hate her or leave her. It makes being truthful about my feelings incredibly difficult. A few weeks ago my dad suffered a major heart attack and was very close to death. She was living in her home country at the time. She was understanding and wanted to talk but I needed space, I cope well by myself and needed to put all my energy supporting my family and dealing with this difficult time. Even though this time was difficult I felt so much freer having this space to be able to deal with my current issues. The time we have been apart so much less stressed, having my own space and ability to deal with issues has made everything and overall life so much easier. I have felt less anxious eating, much more comfortable at work and started socialising more and felt closer to my friends and family than I had in a long time. I came to realise this and after some consideration proposed over the phone perhaps we consider extend the long distance as I feel that for myself to feel better I think that’s what I need. She took it well eventually but there was a lot of emotions. I have had consistent questions asking whether I want to break up or have grown to dislike her or don’t find her attractive. I don’t know what to do, she is head over heels in love with me and considering partner visas and moving in together and marriage and I am just dreading her moving back over. I feel so much freer. I do enjoy the time we spend together but every time I think about it we would work so much better as friends. It’s hard because she is a nice person and there are amazing parts of our relationship. But I feel that long term neither of us are compatible and before the partner visa I need to talk to her about it for our own sake. It’s so hard to voice this to her as each one of my past relationships has been either emotionally abusive or toxic and I am so scared to voice my opinion in a relationship. I know I have a lot of issues to work out because of that and other past situations but I feel for myself a relationship is not what I need for me right now. I feel that I can’t heal and be myself whether I’m with her long term or with anyone else. She’s left a lot of her things at my parents house and it’s a constant reminder that time is ticking and that I need to make a decision and talk to her about it, I feel I want to end it and have entirety of that time to focus on myself, but I feel like an absoloutle asshat and that I’ve lead her on and that I’ve ruined her life. This is a very neutral tldr I’m sorry it’s so long I just feel so lost.

JacintaMarie Is it alright to say no to someone
  • replies: 4

HiHow are you? I'm trying to do a strategy about accepting my feelings.OnThursdau & Friday, my job of doing the papers & mail bag someone told me they did it & I mentioned, that's okay, I can do it, then on the Friday, they annoyed what I said & just... View more

HiHow are you? I'm trying to do a strategy about accepting my feelings.OnThursdau & Friday, my job of doing the papers & mail bag someone told me they did it & I mentioned, that's okay, I can do it, then on the Friday, they annoyed what I said & just did the job.I feel anal about getting annoyed, after all someone did something nice. But I need to accept this negetive feeling in order to move on.I think I'm more annoyed because I wasn't listened too, rather than then the job and to be fair, that's what the person is like, they have alot of info in their head.

Luluga How do I know my marriage is over?
  • replies: 1

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and have 2 children. Pre-kids, our relationship was great. Rarely ever fought and truly loved each other. The last few years have been filled with sleep deprivation and parenting challenges and we are ... View more

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and have 2 children. Pre-kids, our relationship was great. Rarely ever fought and truly loved each other. The last few years have been filled with sleep deprivation and parenting challenges and we are at a point I’m worried my marriage is over. I was diagnosed with post natal depression and sought help to be back on track with my mental health - though my husband never really understood it and didn’t support me through the process. I am certain he is struggling with mental challenges of his own but he refuses to get help - both on his own and together as a couple. Our fighting now is constant, and I feel it is always me who is the first to let my guard down and move on. He seems to never take accountability and apologise and it’s starting to get to me. It feels like he is always trying to “one up” me in an argument. I am fighting so hard to keep our family together but not sure if I should just let go. If he can get through his own stuffles will it get better? Or are we beyond the point of repair. I feel at a loss.

Nick-Pari Am I wrong?
  • replies: 2

I absolutely love my boyfriend. He’s handsome, kind to my family and other and smart. I am currently studying and working at the same time. We have been together for 3.5 years now. He is a hard worker. I know that much. He works more than 75 hours a ... View more

I absolutely love my boyfriend. He’s handsome, kind to my family and other and smart. I am currently studying and working at the same time. We have been together for 3.5 years now. He is a hard worker. I know that much. He works more than 75 hours a fortnight. My issue is, I’ve been feeling lonely in my own relationship. I don’t have friends to hangout with. I don’t have anyone close here. Not even family. I feel so guilty when I ask him to spend sometime with me because I’m my hearts of hearts I know he would rather be working.

Abby2018 Wanting to connect with people going through mental health issues and relationship issues
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone! I'm a 40 yr old working mum with 3 kids. My partner of 20 yrs. told me 3 weeks ago he had been thinking of leaving me for about a year now. The news broke me, and I was hysterical and inconsolable. Though he suggested therapy and counsel... View more

Hi everyone! I'm a 40 yr old working mum with 3 kids. My partner of 20 yrs. told me 3 weeks ago he had been thinking of leaving me for about a year now. The news broke me, and I was hysterical and inconsolable. Though he suggested therapy and counselling, the news hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm struggling to cope. I was hoping to connect with people going through the same issues or perhaps someone who has overcome this or similar. I have severe anxiety and my mental health is declining. I have reached out to Beyond Blue and other resources and working really hard to overcome this and hoping we can fix our partnership and our family. Is there anyone out there going through something similar, maybe we can support each other and bounce of each other in this journey. Thanks

rabbithole333 Struggling to move forward
  • replies: 1

my ex and I of 5 years ended in August last year. It was all very toxic especially in the weeks leading up to the breakup and following. We were living overseas at the time and drugs and alcohol were involved. We tried to do long distance as I needed... View more

my ex and I of 5 years ended in August last year. It was all very toxic especially in the weeks leading up to the breakup and following. We were living overseas at the time and drugs and alcohol were involved. We tried to do long distance as I needed to go back home early to clear my head. It was hard. I knew I wasn’t being treated right but I couldn’t let go. He ended things on the phone with me the day he got home. It’s now been three months of essentially no contact. I was feeling relatively great until we decided to call to catch up I guess. Now I’m left feeling confused and hurt again. I know that time is going to help but I’m just feeling like I want him back even though he treated me so badly. I feel like he’s going to come back around but I also don’t want to be waiting for someone who I know isn’t right for me. I guess with the history we have I just wish he was the one still. Can someone please just help me understand that these feelings end. A big part of me feels we can still work but I feel I am also being delusional. How to people get past this kind of thing.

psyberpunk I feel rejected
  • replies: 5

My wife and I have been together 10 years - but since our first child my wife has lost the desire/capacity for any kind of intamacy with me. In four years she's almost never initiated even a hug, kiss, cuddle and I think we've had sex about 6 times a... View more

My wife and I have been together 10 years - but since our first child my wife has lost the desire/capacity for any kind of intamacy with me. In four years she's almost never initiated even a hug, kiss, cuddle and I think we've had sex about 6 times and each time has felt like i'm forcing her and its a charity case. I started trying to talk to her more about it about a year ago. In the last few months she has initiated a couple of short hugs. My wife has also created created this 'bubble' with our son, they sleep together, we sleep seperately, and I feel like i'm not welcome in it. She doesn't want to even go on a date with me, out to dinner, see a movie. Several family members have offered to watch our son while we do go do something for us and our relationship, but she doesn't want to. When we've had issues with him and are talking about it - she has used terms like 'you dissapeared with MY son" which makes me feel like i'm not even considered really part of anything. This bubble pushes the issue beyond physical and I feel emotionally pushed away as well, we almost never get to really talk or confide in each other anymore. As i mentioned above when I starting talking more about a lack of emotional/physical intamacy and exclusion it with her about a year ago, she talked about being mentally and emotionally drained and 'touched out' from interacting with our son. I suggested she needed to get some help and it initiated her to go and seek some help around feeling mentally drained and she's been diagnosed with ADHD and is now taking some medication for that. However nothing really has changed for us - a few months after she started taking medications she agreed to some physical intimacy, but afterwards when I was talking to her about it and us, she said she had no desire or need for it anymore.When it comes to our son I think I'm a reasonably active dad - but often what i'm engaging to do with him is wrong. I raised the total lack of desire to want to be intimate or make time for us it with her again last night in that I feel rejected and she's basically ignored it. I dont know what to do.

Want2keep I want to keep the baby but my partner wants me to abort!
  • replies: 7

Hi, I have come here for advice as I have no family left. I found out I am 6 weeks pregnant and my partner wants to abort as he feels we cannot financially support a baby. We both have jobs and I would get 3 months maternatity leave. My partner is cu... View more

Hi, I have come here for advice as I have no family left. I found out I am 6 weeks pregnant and my partner wants to abort as he feels we cannot financially support a baby. We both have jobs and I would get 3 months maternatity leave. My partner is currently going through a divorce and feels that we are not in a financial position to have a baby. This is his only reason. He said if I keep the baby he will potentially not cope and kill himself. I am very upset as I was hopeful that he might have wanted to keep the baby, but he is very against it. Pls someone help me I feel that my only option is to terminate. I dont have his family support either. We are both 38 years old and I see it as a gift that I have fallen pregnant. He sees it as a big mistake.