Hi nixxyboo
As you say, you know the truth. Still, sometimes it doesn't help to know the truth when people are directing harsh judgement our way. Over the years, in order to manage the angering, depressing or anxiety inducing nature of others (family included), I've found a number of ways to manage. I suppose it all depends on what the situation's about when it comes to how we can best manage it. A few ways I've found to be handy
- While we can fight for our right to be heard, doesn't always mean people are going to change their mind about us. It can simply more so be about standing up for our self, as opposed to simply wishing we could. Can be a self-esteem boosting exercise. If I can't tolerate what someone says to me, I'll channel what I like to refer to as 'the intolerant cow' in me🐄😊. She can be a feisty one at times. Can take some practice, bringing our intolerant nature to life when we need it (that part of us that flat out refuses to tolerate poop from people)
- The ability to make light of something or make a joke of it can be a must have ability at times, otherwise things can really get to us. Taken me many years to finally learn to make fun of or make fun for myself. What I mean by that is I can make some fun out of a stressful or depressing situation I'm in. It's like if a couple of family members were to accuse me of being a thief, I might say something like 'Yep that's me. I'll steal anything...a glance, a laugh, some attention, the lime light, pretty much anything. You know me'. The thing about making light or fun of something is it tends to trigger the people who want you to take things seriously. In a way, it also sets a boundary that dictates 'You want to start this nonsense, I'll treat it like nonsense'
- Stretching people's imagination can be a handy ability. 'I want you to imagine I went around telling everyone that before you married your spouse, you actually stole him from someone else. How do you imagine people will view you, based on the lies I've spread. Can you imagine how you'd feel, not being believed when you knew you were telling the truth'. Leading people to imagine what would cause them pain, embarrassment or humiliation can be a way of leading them to open their minds a bit and lastly
- A healthy sense of wonder. Wondering what leads people to behave in the ways they do makes the situation more about them than it does about you. Wondering out loud at people, is next level wonder. 'I wonder why you feel the need to treat me in this way. I can't help but wonder why you can't see the truth of what happened. What is wrong with you. Answer me'
Might sound a little arrogant but I've found some people need to be managed in certain ways, otherwise they can mess with our emotions and our self esteem and start planting beliefs in our head that don't serve us in any constructive or positive way. They can lead us down a really dark path that we should never be led to venture down.
