Hi Lulu00
Your brother sounds like a truly beautiful person, having brought you so much joy, excitement, possibly peace and guidance in ways, as well as so much more. He sounds like the light of your life, so brilliant in so many ways. I suppose something worth asking is 'How can I gain light, now that my light has moved some distance away, to go to uni?'.
Is there anyone else who you can sense as being a light in your life, someone warm and brilliant in certain ways? Of course, your brother may be a one in a million kind of light but there may be others who hold a similar warmth and brilliance. If you're a sensitive sort of person, perhaps it's a matter of getting a better sense of who these people could be. Try getting a feel for them. If there's no one who stands out, maybe it's a time to consider venturing out to find these kinds of people. Developing interests in things can mean joining a group or groups of people who will inspire you in some way to find the best in yourself. They may be the type of people who lead you to discover your own light, your own brilliance.
It's definitely tough when we lose, in one way or another, someone who tends to bring out the best in us. There's nothing that compares with feeling the best in our self. Whether we're feeling the excitement seeker in us, the adventurer, the clown or comedian, the motivated thrill seeker or some other part of us, finding other ways to bring the best in us to life can become the ultimate challenge. Maybe this is something you could speak to your brother about or maybe there's someone else in your life who you could ask 'How do I continue to find the best in myself now that things have changed?'. So important to continue doing it, rather than face losing those parts of our self. Perhaps even guidance counseling could be an option with this heartbreaking challenge you face on your path. ❤️
