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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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suspicious_banana Anxious Attachment in relationship while also dealing with other issues.
  • replies: 1

Hey guys, I am going through a bit at the moment in my current romantic relationship and my relationship with myself. Some support and advice would be great. A few things to note: - I've been diagnosed in the recent weeks with an anxious attachment s... View more

Hey guys, I am going through a bit at the moment in my current romantic relationship and my relationship with myself. Some support and advice would be great. A few things to note: - I've been diagnosed in the recent weeks with an anxious attachment style due to my mum having bipolar when I was growing up.- I have previously been in an abusive relationship previously, I was cheated on, manipulated, guilt tripped, gaslit and so on during it. I was in this relationship for 2 and a half years.- My partner and I work together.- My partner struggles to bring how how she is feeling and her needs, even when asked.- I've learnt recently that my partner is an independent person The story begins: I (21m) met my partner (21f) two years ago, things were great for a start, spent a lot of time together, affection and connection were through the roof. We had a few problems here and there and were able to somewhat comfortably resolve them. Her and her best friend moved in together and I noticed that her best friend was showing signs of jealousy, it ended up have a big impact on our relationship. Her friend had no one else but my partner to spend time with and my partner was always inviting her friend everywhere that we were wanting to go, then I'd be the third wheel (if that makes sense). Her friend would also make me very uncomfortable, glaring at me, ignoring me, isolating herself whenever I was over at their place. I brought this up with my partner many times and every time, she got very defensive about things and was very open about putting her friends needs above mine while also saying some other nasty things, breaking my trust completely. I ended up breaking things off with her for while as she couldn't have a discussion about it/anything without getting defensive, and then we were able to come back a month later and discuss things. Eventually she came to her senses and they had a falling out, and upon her own reflection, she can now understand how toxic that friendship was and how I was "right".

Drew76- grief and depression
  • replies: 1

Hi all just need some help I have being battling depression for the past 20 years and recently i just lost my best friend my mum after a 2 week battle with Multilobar Pneumonia. Can anyone recommend any types of counselling as I have my first born gr... View more

Hi all just need some help I have being battling depression for the past 20 years and recently i just lost my best friend my mum after a 2 week battle with Multilobar Pneumonia. Can anyone recommend any types of counselling as I have my first born grandson born in july and I want to be in his life but i need to get help first

failingatthis Spouse constantly blames
  • replies: 6

Hi I don’t know where else to turn, I’ve been in an on again off again relationship for 4 years the last 1.5 years living together we both come from ex husband/wife and have a blended family, my issues come that I’m blamed for everything, my ex wife ... View more

Hi I don’t know where else to turn, I’ve been in an on again off again relationship for 4 years the last 1.5 years living together we both come from ex husband/wife and have a blended family, my issues come that I’m blamed for everything, my ex wife is frustrating difficult to deal with regarding our children and often is changing things to suit herself though we have a court order it can’t stop her find8ng little ways to get around it, this caused a rift between my and my current partner who says I have to stand up to her more though ever time I do it ends up in bitter arguments, with both my e wife and spouse, to the extent my daughter come in an said that she had enough of the constant conflict and the blame that was being placed on me and my daughter and wanted to go home, I took my daughter home that evening as she was in tears and didn’t want to be in that environment, I told her that my spouse was just upset she isn’t that bad of a person, she claims she’s fighting for our life and our family life and that ever time my e wife does something it effects us all which I don’t disagree with. the next morning I was told that my daughter was not welcome in the family home anymore after she yelled at my spouse and called her a liar…I have to admit I did the same thing in anger as she firmly stuck to her versions and just won’t listen to what I have to say. I’ve had to spend every second weekend at my brothers to sleep on a couch just to see my two children, I was told that they could come back if my daughter apologised for her behaviour this was after she packed all her things up in boxes of course my daughter doesn’t want to which is understandable and my son won’t either. I’ve been called a liar, cheat unfaithful dishonest and deceitful and that I never cared about her or her family at all. Don’t get me wrong I’m not perfect but have I truly created this issue, I’m not to blame that my ex wife is difficult she always is and always will be

PsychedelicFur Dealing with unrequited love and confused feelings
  • replies: 13

Hey there, i confessed my feelings for my friend not so long ago. He said he didn’t want to risk being with me, intimately, because he had a fwb relationship long ago and they had a falling out. Anyway, he told me i was pretty, kind and he holds my h... View more

Hey there, i confessed my feelings for my friend not so long ago. He said he didn’t want to risk being with me, intimately, because he had a fwb relationship long ago and they had a falling out. Anyway, he told me i was pretty, kind and he holds my hand and cuddles me. And it makes me feel like there is something there and it really confuses me. i keep comparing myself to the other woman, I knew he was with ages ago. What does she have that I don’t have? Logically, I know this isn’t right. AND IT JUST MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!! I have told him how much I care and love him. And it hurts me he doesn’t want anything more than cuddling and holding hands. And he calls me sexy legs. I don’t know what to do. i wish he could just be with me… what did that other woman have that i don’t have? it makes me compare myself. I hate having unrequited love. I hate feeling so alone and sad. I hate rejection. And i’m so confused. It seems like mixes messages but I’m unsure.

roosters1984 Relationship
  • replies: 3

Hi I am Melissa 38 I have a boyfriend he is 48 his name is Cain and I love him so so much I think I am so so obsessed with him because I call and text him everyday because I have this feeling he’s going to cheat on me but I know he’s not what do I do... View more

Hi I am Melissa 38 I have a boyfriend he is 48 his name is Cain and I love him so so much I think I am so so obsessed with him because I call and text him everyday because I have this feeling he’s going to cheat on me but I know he’s not what do I do please help

katedicko family member with vertigo
  • replies: 2

My brother has had vertigo for almost 10 years now and has spent most of this time inside of his room. I didn't believe it was a real illness until the middle of last year when I was concussed and suffered a 6 month stint of vertigo dizziness myself.... View more

My brother has had vertigo for almost 10 years now and has spent most of this time inside of his room. I didn't believe it was a real illness until the middle of last year when I was concussed and suffered a 6 month stint of vertigo dizziness myself. It was at this point that I was able to understand what my brother must go through. I went to see GP's most weeks, I had CT scans, MRI scans + blood tests and skin scrapings but no-one knew what was wrong with me. I was recommended a neuro-physio and since her training, I have been able to train my brain to balance again and I have been able to reconnect with the outside world again. I suggested it to my brother to try it out and I was surprised that he shut me down straight away. I keep suggesting it to him but he won't take my advice. My parents take care of him at the moment but we lost two of our sisters to diseases when we were really young. Seeing how much it stressed my parents to care for them was truely heartbreaking, I feel like it is happening all over again with my brother. The more it upsets me, the more I push my brother to try to find a cure but it leaves me so disappointed and resentful when he doesn't listen to me. I know he is struggling and he tells me he needs me to message him more but how can I support him when he isn't trying? The conversations that I have with him are always on his terms of topics, he expresses his problems with females and the trans community and it depresses me to hear only the negative things come out of his mouth, never positive. I don't know how to be strong enough to support someone who brings me down so much. I don't know how to not react. At what point do I have to step away, and what does that say about me.. someone who advocates for mental health and tries to support other people but I can't even support my own brother.

Steve84 I don't know how to deal with separation anxiety
  • replies: 2

My wife has started to make friends and leave me home. I don't have any other friends. I get so anxious without her. It sounds sad, but I have always sacrificed everything to look after her, but now she is improving from her own mental health issues ... View more

My wife has started to make friends and leave me home. I don't have any other friends. I get so anxious without her. It sounds sad, but I have always sacrificed everything to look after her, but now she is improving from her own mental health issues and I'm being left behind. I don't know where to start

Tasa83 How to make friends in your 30’s w. BP
  • replies: 10

This is a question not a statement. I’ve always struggled to make friends and keep them and I have trouble trusting people and people of always bailed so now I just expect that everyone is gonna bail so I stand back a little bit or I get so excited a... View more

This is a question not a statement. I’ve always struggled to make friends and keep them and I have trouble trusting people and people of always bailed so now I just expect that everyone is gonna bail so I stand back a little bit or I get so excited about having a new friend that I’m too full on and scare them away. I know I need friends; it’s important to have people in your life that will be there for you when times are really hard and will be there for you in times when you need a good laugh, but in your 30s when you’re not working and you have a mental illness like bipolar, it makes things a little bit trickier there is no tinder for friends that I know of so how do you make friends in your 30s when you have bipolar? thoughts? my blog quote today was “I feel lik my whole life I have been waiting for someone to find me”

trappedinqld Dwindling relationship
  • replies: 2

My relationship with my partner is dwindling down to nothing. I have tried everything but I just can't shake the thoughts of leaving no matter what I try. She is not interested in couples counseling when I suggested it. We have 3 kids, two of them ar... View more

My relationship with my partner is dwindling down to nothing. I have tried everything but I just can't shake the thoughts of leaving no matter what I try. She is not interested in couples counseling when I suggested it. We have 3 kids, two of them are under 4 and they are what is keeping me inside this relationship. I can't bear the thought of not seeing them every day and being there to love and support them. Whenever we have discussed splitting up, my partner gets hysterical and starts to get quite irrational. Saying things like I won't get to see the kids etc. etc. My mental health is suffering big time and I just can't see the light in this relationship besides being there together for our kids. Can someone please give me some advice if they have been in a similar situation or what my rights would be in terms of the kids if my partner refuses to have good communication and understanding with me if we do break up. I am just so worried that I will not be in my kids' lives on a regular basis. Like at least a 50/50 split. It breaks my heart to think about leaving because I feel like my reasons are not good enough to cause this pain and disruption in my kids' lives as they have not asked for this and do not deserve this.

Flippy Depressed not having another kid
  • replies: 1

My partner and I have been together for over a decade, we have one young child together and live a pretty lovely life. Our child is the light of our lives, but I've wanted another for some time now (couple of years), but my partner does not. I found ... View more

My partner and I have been together for over a decade, we have one young child together and live a pretty lovely life. Our child is the light of our lives, but I've wanted another for some time now (couple of years), but my partner does not. I found that when our child was 1 and I realised that I wanted another, I slipped into depression over the fact they weren't interested, it took me 18 months on a self journey to find peace in one child, but a recent event of an unwell family member has made me realise just how much I want a second, and I feel myself slipping back into that obsessive state. Partner is not interested in counselling, but I am looking into it for myself.I've discussed this at length with my partner, and the reasoning is always the same. Don't get me wrong, I fully hear what they have to say, and I acknowledge and even agree that yes, things are a bit tight, physical family support is non existent and we would be starting again. Our kid is in school, they're happy, healthy and lovely to be around. We aren't old, but I am knocking on the 'geriatric' door if we were to have another. I don't know how to move past this. All my friends have 2+ kids, and I'm so happy for them, but it's just a slap in the face reminder every, single, day. How do I move past this? I love our triangle family, and I know having one means we could give our kid the entire world with no hesitations, but that pull for a second is deep.