The warmest of welcomes at such a challenging time for you
I'm wondering whether this is something you could speak to your wife about or it's something she'd completely refuse to try and understand. While trying to imagine what I'd say to my husband if he revealed this to me, I suppose the questions might be along the lines of
- What has led you to imagine this? Has there been anything in particular triggering your imagination lately, in such a way?
- Do you feel you're lacking excitement in life and excitement is what you're after?
- Do you feel this is pointing to a need to spice up our relationship in some way?
- From a chemical perspective, could what you're imagining be increasing dopamine and testosterone levels etc, creating a high, and the need for a greater high is escalating? Could it be escalating to the point of you following through with what you imagine? Do you think you're becoming addicted to the idea, which is giving you a high?
- Do you feel down or depressed lately and what you imagine is the only thing that seems to make you happy? OR Do you feel completely exhausted and what you imagine is the only thing that seems to energise you?
Not sure what else I'd ask but that's a start. Being a gal who tends to wonder a lot, there's a lot to wonder about. At first there might be the temptation to wonder 'What's wrong with me, that you'd have to go looking somewhere else for this kind of excitement?' but once I got past that, I'd consider the list of questions above. This is obviously a challenge for you and I think it can be up to our partner to help us through certain challenges. Sometimes the challenges will test us, to see how much we can open our mind and begin thinking outside the square.
Something else that'll test us is our imagination. The imagination can be an incredibly powerful thing. The imagination can lead people to create and nurture multi million dollar business, it can lead people to want to bring children into this world, it can lead to civil rights movements and major changes (as witnessed in Martin Luther King Jr's speech 'I have a dream...'). While it has a truly brilliant or bright side, I've also found it to have a dark side. How to manage what we (day) dream about or imagine can be a massive challenge at times. At times our imagination can really mess with us and tempt us.
