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Married and have a crush on some from work - Please help me

lordrainyday8888
Community Member

I am a happily married guy with a beautiful and supporting wife - However, off lately met this girl at work and gone head over heels about her - I cannot stop thinking about and miss her every second in my life. when I see this girl at I am super energetic and very happy when I am with her and the movement I am back home - I unable to concentrate on anything and trying everything to stop thinking about her - But unable to do so the girl from work does not even know I love her so much and she is a good friend of mine and unable to express my feelings for her. Please help me - I don't know what to do - it's just driving me insane. I am pretty much-consuming alcohol every day in copious mounts just to sleep - I am totally frustrated with this situation and even thought of telling this person i have feelings for her but way too afraid to let her know. Can someone please advised me what i need to - thanks for your'e support

107 Replies 107

ok, well maybe you need to tell this person, as some of you anxiety will be not knowing. And if she is not interested, then maybe you will being to think differently.

I think a lot of us have all been in this situation, it just depends on how deep and the duration.

TheMich

I don't know how to tell this person and afraid of losing this person in my life and absolutely hate it. I think the only solution to this is to keep this inside me and let it burn as much as it has and hopefully, it will fade away but might really take a long time - i am super unhappy and just tired of crying everyday

Hey Matchy

I am so stuck - i know if i take the road and go after this person from work - i will never get her as she keeps drifting away from me more and more - i need to figure out something and see what is the best solution and work it out from there - thanks for you're help

well you really need to make a decision or it will tear you apart. Can you get a new job? (i know not as easy as it sounds).

and maybe if you are crying you are not that happy in your marriage?

do you contact this person via social media or anything else?

I am trying to get a new Job - but unfortunately no luck - I am happy in my marriage but I don't understand why I can't get over this person from work - I only contact her at work via skype and sometimes I do message her once in a while - but she takes ages to respond - so I am in limbo waiting for her message - I even tried not speaking with her at work for 2 weeks and by the end of 2weeks - I gave up - could not bear the thought of not seeing her. I have a photo of her on my phone and see it all the time and miss her more and more - The only good thing is WFM so I don't need to see that person at work - Not sure when I am going to be back to work and all of sudden the dark cloud is over me again. I need to sort this out asap - so it's better for me - thanks for the support mich - will keep u posted on how it goes

Hey.. Just be careful with photos and messages as you don't want to risk an harassment claim.

You probs should delete the photo and number to eliminate the temptation to contact.

The less contact the better and hopefully things will ease up.

HiMich,

Maybe I need to delete those photos and messages but ultimately it's in my mind - which I am unable to delete it - it's driving me insane - hopefully, I will try less contact with this person and it should help - it's miserable situation - I am also seeing a psychologist- hopefully this helps 😞

Hi lordrainyday I am glad you are seeing a psychologist and theost important thing about seeing one is being completely honest to them.I understand about deleting photos but can't delete them out of your mind.
Take care,
Mark.

Hi Matchy

I have been completely honest with my psychologist and really helps me when I have a chat - but the movement I am out of the clinic - it is back to square one - yesterday my wife was a little worried about my health as I am always sulking and thinking of something - but I am unable to let my wife know about - as it will make her very unhappy -it's like a dark cloud in my brain and see no hope of ray of light to fade it away - thanks for your support guys - much appreciated.

Hi lordrainyday I am just wondering what suggestions your phycholigist has for you?How do you really feel about your wife and marriage?Do you feel like their is something missing in your marriage and this other lady offers it?It is really tough situation for you.I was opposite to you and was in love with a married woman.Nothing ever happened but I just became so obcessed with this person and wanted to be with them.I no longer have and contact with them but still think about them.I hope it can get easier for you and you can go forward with your life.
Take care,
Mark.