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Community Member
I'm not sure what I'm looking for in this, mainly to vent I think. My partner of almost 4 years has GAD. Since we've been together it has steadily gotten worse and now currently at the stage where I have to ask if they are safe being at home by themselves. They have been going to counselling for the duration of our relationship and approx 2.5yrs ago started medication which hasn't seemed to help at all (tried a few different ones). About 1-1.5yrs ago they re took up smoking which I cannot stand an they know that. It physically and psychologically repulsed me to the point I don't want to kiss them at all. I love them and want to be with them I just feel so emotionally burnt out at times. In the rare moments we go out and socialise like a happy normal couple when anxiety isn't involved makes me realise how much it affects our relationship as a whole. We discuss our issues but nothing changes. I feel like I have no one to talk to about all this as my partner is my best friend, and we share most of our close friends so I don't think it's appropriate to involve them. Days like today put the weight of their world and mine on my shoulders.
3 Replies 3

Community Member

I have GAD but my ex couldn't see past himself.

In the hard times I just want to feel safe & supported. I have to learn to help myself.

It must be hard for you and stressful. Sometimes the choice of being there is accepting that you will have hard times to. Together.

I hope you have some you time.

Venting does always help.

Community Member

Hi Slytherin 91,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. You have come to the right place, regardless if you just want to vent or ask for advice, we are here to listen and support where we can. Most, if not all of us suffer from a mental health condition of some sort, mine is GAD as well so I can relate to what your partner is going through.

It is good they are still seeking help that is key but one thing in their corner is the fact they have you supporting them. A good support network even if it is just one person is a big part of the recovery process for someone suffering from a mental health issue. I know it is tough from your point of view as well. One thing that may benefit both of you would possibly be seeing a counsellor together to both speak your minds and then the counsellor can assist you both in finding common ground, possibly helping with the smoking etc. I know it won't be easy but you clearly love them and would do anything to help them which is great.

The other good thing about these forums is they are full of a lot of useful information for people in your position, if you go to the top of the page under "The facts" section you will see a supporting someone tab, have a read through there as that is a whole section on supporting someone with a mental illness.

My best for you and your partner,


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Slytherin, I'm not sure what type of smoking you are referring to or whether it's a replacement for his medication that doesn't seem to be working.
If you feel as though you don't want to talk to one of your friends then you need to see your doctor, however if there is one person who has spoken to you in confidence before then perhaps you could say something to them.
I don't blame you when say you can't kiss them because of the smoke on their breath, some people don't mind, but the longer you feel like this the longer it will become worse, and if the r/ship is strong then a compromise between the two of you has to be made. Geoff.