Lost marriage and now Losing the love of my life

[Aimee_billie]

Hi all

I separated from my husband and father of my two boys last year. I fell out of love and knew something was missing in my life - most likely self love, but at the time I felt like I needed an emotional connection from him that he wasn't able to give me.

Since then I have been seeing a new man. He is amazing. Loves me more than i could imagine a man could. My kids have met him and love him to bits.

however early on we had a few bumps around trust which sent me anxiety sky rocketing and I crashed hard. I went to my GP after I started cutting (I am 30!) and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety - although I think I have had it for most kd my life as I've always had a terrible self image. I've had a rough battle with my ex and he has gotten a girl pregnant so now I'm dealing with how to handle that wth my kids. I also had a hard time changing medication and things for bad with my new partner and I and we broke up. But got back together shortly after.

problem is now I push him away constantly. One day I am feeling the happiest I have in years... Just hours later something so small happens and I just have a melt down. I break it off, but he fights for me. My anxieties and Insecurities take over and I feel I'd be better off alone and he'd be better off without me.

i don't know what to do. Do I fight for him. Do I be alone. Take the time. Fix me. Somehow?!? Or can he be in that journey wth me?

[Kathryne]

Hi Aimee,

welcome to beyond blue forums.

Love is an awesome feeling! your comment ...

" a new man. He is amazing. Loves me more than i could imagine a man could. My kids have met him and love him to bits."

Does not that say your relationship is worth developing further "I break it off, but he fights for me" You are worth fighting for.

Visit your GP have bloods done to check which medication would be best for you.

Ask for referral to psch worker to work through your issues.

Remember you can call beyond blue 24/7 on 1300224636

Regards Kathryne

[geoff]

hi Aimee_billie, your relationship with your husband could have stopped because you felt that there was something he was doing behind your back, but didn't know about this until recently where he has someone else pregnant so I wonder why this is how you fell out of love, and if so then it's only natural that you blame yourself for the lack of self love, so what I'm trying to say is that your husband has caused this.
When you meet someone new there is going to be the issue of trust, because this has been carried over from your previous marriage and I think that this would happen in most occasions, because trust is a bvery strong word.
You seem to be carrying a lot of weight from your ex, which I think your new man knows about your anxiety and depression but it seems as though he wants to help you through this journey, and remember every relationship have there ups and downs which is only trying to sort out the boundaries so that the both of you can settle down.
Your children like him and so do you, but you can't overcome all of this by yourself, closing down when a crisis happens so this is where you need continual help just to balance back to your natural personality, living a new life, one which your kids would enjoy.
I hope that everything has been settled between you and your ex, because when it hasn't then problems and your mood will continue to be affected.
Wipe all of this away, because even though it is hard not to carry luggage, it is probably better to block this out, as everybody is different, but let him join you because if you love him then that's what you are looking for. Geoff. x