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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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monty I think my girlfrind may be working as a prostitute
  • replies: 5

ok so where to start. my names josh im 22 years old and have been with my gf for the past 6 months i love her alot and she means the world to me. up until recently we have had a great relationship, this was untill she started a job baby sitting now w... View more

ok so where to start. my names josh im 22 years old and have been with my gf for the past 6 months i love her alot and she means the world to me. up until recently we have had a great relationship, this was untill she started a job baby sitting now what first got me suspicious was she was taking sexy underware to work every day the stuff she only used to ware for me on top of that she was makeing up to 600 a day now when i questioned her about this she said the family are very rich the dad is a ceo of a large company and thats why they pay so much. still not convinced i waited untill she left her phone in the room with me while she had a shower i found msgs there talking about rosters and hours she needs to be in i also found a string of msgs from someone who said they were from her first day of work at "studio relax girls" from the same person was msgs asking when she is working and "i miss the way you make me feel" also replys from her saying im already booked up so you can wait or just see one of the other girls. armed with this evidence i confronted her about this she rejected it all saying its just a joke between her friends and she is doing babysitting. i however was not convinced so i called up this "studio relax girls" described her and made an apointment to go see a girl who matched her description. i got to the place and found her there in red lingerie she look shocked to see me i left the place straight away without speaking to her. about 6 hours later i turned my phone back on and she called me saying how sorry she was and that she DOESNT DO FULL SERVICES no one touches her and she doesnt touch them sexually and only gives back massages after a long discussion going over and over that she says she doesnt do anything sexual i took her back. she went a week without going there and ignoring there calls then she tells me se is going to work there doing nothing sexual only doing massrges like she was before i hated it so much i argued and had fights with her regarding it finally she said im working there get used to it or im leaving you. i am deeply in love with her so i backed down and let her do what she wanted regardless of how much it hurt me. she has done two shifts now since i found out the first time i smashed the living hell out of everything that was around me got angry and fell apart inside i begged and begged her not to go back but she did her second shift since i found out was today i spent the first half of the day in bed crying feeling sorry for myself and talking to her on fb i figured whats the point of this so i called up a good mate of mine just to go hang out and talk s**t i told her i was going and ill talk when i get back. so about an hour and a half goes by and she sends me a msg saying that she just had a one hour client i think ok stay calm she wasnt doing anything sexual its all ok, 5 minutes after that first msg she sends me one saying "i slept with him call me", i threw up died inside felt like i had been torn apart i was full of anger and sadness how could she do this to me i race home and call her as fast as i could. she then tells me it was only a joke and she just wanted me to call her because she miss me i could not believe it was she serious did she think this was funny. she tells me im over reacting and stop being so clingy. my question to everyone is am i just being naive trusting her? was she confessing to me then chickened out? how can i trust her? i love her and want to be with her but this is tearing me apart and i honestly feel like i dont know what to do

Lostgirl94 Am I being selfish?
  • replies: 3

Im currently 40 weeks pregnant and asked my friend who I live with to come to my 40 week antenatal appointment the other day, things have been a bit tense since living together and I wanted to lighten the mood a bit however when I got called in she b... View more

Im currently 40 weeks pregnant and asked my friend who I live with to come to my 40 week antenatal appointment the other day, things have been a bit tense since living together and I wanted to lighten the mood a bit however when I got called in she bought her 14month old into the appointment and I was basically chasing him around while she spoke to the midwife about her problems, I tried explaining to my partner that it was very frustrating and he told me I was being bitchy and selfish and she was a good friend so I should be nicer, am I right to feel this way I just want to cry I dont want to be a bad friend but I cant stand that she makes it all about her so much and my partner thinks its only because she doesnt have many friends, I just want a second opinion...

Ellie4321 Difficult time adjusting to blended family
  • replies: 5

Hi, Adjusting to my new life with my new partner has been a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. I have been divorced for 3 years - and have been in a new relationship for two. I have come to the realisation that somehow my new life is a bit more... View more

Hi, Adjusting to my new life with my new partner has been a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. I have been divorced for 3 years - and have been in a new relationship for two. I have come to the realisation that somehow my new life is a bit more challenging than my old one. Our blended family has 5 kids: 3 teenagers boys and 2 young girls. My main issue (among all the other kids stuff) is to adjust to my partner's attitude towards my son. There is a lot of unfairness and double standards directed towards him, it's a bit mean really. Also my new partner gets very annoyed if I spend any time at all with my son (even things like gardening or attending to his sports practice). To make things harder, he is very nice to my daughter. My partner and I really love each other's. I just wish he could accept my son in the family. This situation has been stopping me enjoying our relationship and stopping me wanting to invest fully in our couple. I feel guarded, defensive, a bit paranoid and angry... I am getting very very very angry and hurt. Ellie Any suggestions? I feel like I am losing my mind.

Ariel_84 Destructive MIL
  • replies: 25

My MIL is a manipulative & destructive woman. She told my 4 year old to eat nuts when she suffers anaphylaxis, MIL & FIL took her without asking while on a family picnic & abused me for telling her it's unacceptable pointing her finger in my face & s... View more

My MIL is a manipulative & destructive woman. She told my 4 year old to eat nuts when she suffers anaphylaxis, MIL & FIL took her without asking while on a family picnic & abused me for telling her it's unacceptable pointing her finger in my face & she was going to wash her hands of me, while I was pregnant suffering hyperemisis in & out of hospital she turned husband against me & my family & also told my daughter to listen to nan & not mummy because nan is right, during my whole pregnancy she was relentless. The more ill I was the worse she became.. she even tried telling my family & husband I was suffering from a mental illness. She refused to acknowledge I was suffering hyperemisis & was only pregnant. When bub was born she refused to even acknowledge me giving me dirty looks. It was horrible. My husband is an only child. MIL has a strong hold over him. MIL has told me she's ending my marriage, taking husband away & we'll never seem him again, said my daughters allergies & anaphylaxis are rubbish & lies about everything. My 4 year old is seeing a psychologist & has been traumatised by MIl. My six month old has been exposed to MIL's abuse. Husband is conflicted. This woman seems set on destroying me, my children, my marriage, my husband. Husband would tell me she treated her dog better then him, that she never read or sang to him. She would manipulate husband & turn him against FIL. My 4 year old is questioning her allergies, speech has been affected & suffering from anxiety. Husband said he would confront MIL when she caused problems but she refused to listen. Husband still defends & makes excuses for MIL. I have taken steps to protect the children & I from MIL. Husband is being pressured by his parents I think he is suffering from depression. He doesn't cope well with stress. I know he needs support. It's such a horrible situation.

ang15 Need advice to stay grounded
  • replies: 2

I have always had depression and anxiety since I was young. It was triggered and has manifested since I separated from my husband last year, 2 very stressful years at work, 2 special needs children and now selling the house I love and moving to a new... View more

I have always had depression and anxiety since I was young. It was triggered and has manifested since I separated from my husband last year, 2 very stressful years at work, 2 special needs children and now selling the house I love and moving to a new town. I am burnt out and hit rock bottom. everything feels overwhelming and I have relied on a great friend too much by clinging and subsequently she has backed away, I really need her and miss her terribly but I do understand why on her behalf. she was the one who understood me and knew all my thoughts and feelings. I was doing really well today and felt like I had made some progress in listening to my dreams and planning goals and letting my friend go until she is ready to talk again. I was ok with that until I saw a msg she wrote to someone else. Then all the hurt and feelings of losing her are coming back and its really hard to shake this anxiety. On top of this I am trying to make good decisions and right decisions in my future and about where I will be living but I seem to get a different response from others disagreeing. I don't know how to trust my decisions anymore, I don't know how to trust my ideas and goals. I want this all to stop its going way too fast and everything is happening so quickly. I am hurting because I am too much for people to handle. I have support from medication, psychologist and social worker so whilst that is great. Its moments like these when you are all alone and its the day to day managing and minute to minute handling of emotions and thoughts and not the once week appointments that are hard. anyone else going through or have similar experiences

Teetoe Don't want to be selfish ...
  • replies: 14

I'm struggling with guilt over my selfish feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction for my life - probably need a good kick. My husband has been diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago- he is sometimes very difficult to get along with - and I ... View more

I'm struggling with guilt over my selfish feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction for my life - probably need a good kick. My husband has been diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago- he is sometimes very difficult to get along with - and I so miss any companionship, joint activities, discussion and physical relationship. He is not in care but his life revolves around himself, because of the dementia. I am trying to move us off acreage into a smaller place which will be better for him once we move, but he doesn't want to go and blames me bitterly for it (health professionals and family are advocating it but the weight falls on me). The dementia causes lots of other problems with things here which I must deal with, and I am so frustrated with my life. I've always been a very out there person and everywhere I look I see happy couples doing things. We lost our daughter some years ago and this weighs heavy on both of us. I want to look after him but he resists that and at the same time doesn't like me going out doing my own thing. Most of the time I feel very lonely, empty and needy, but I know I must not feel this way. I also feel very sorry for him as he is facing dementia as well as physical pain with arthritis issues (for which I am trying to medical help). Is there anyone else out there facing similar issues who can give me the necessary backbone to be supportive and caring and not be so selfish?

Bubbaloo84 Feel like I'm battling it alone
  • replies: 11

I am a single mum have been for nilly 3 years. I don't have anyone who I can really trust in "my circle" well not really a circle only have my sister and brother but feel I can't load my problems on them. I'm currently going through a divorce as my e... View more

I am a single mum have been for nilly 3 years. I don't have anyone who I can really trust in "my circle" well not really a circle only have my sister and brother but feel I can't load my problems on them. I'm currently going through a divorce as my ex husband served them on me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm screaming on the inside but just can't say how I am truly feeling... It's Like I'm scared of my feelings. Scared of what I am and who I have become.. I'm so broken on the inside that I feel if I start to break on the outside I just don't know what's going to happen... I feel I have to stay strong for a little girl that is in my world. My four year old daughter. I'm so unhappy miserable and hurt.

slh lost and scared
  • replies: 7

Hi. Sorry i haven't introduced myself. I've not posted here before so hope you will excuse my curent state. I'm sitting on the couch in tears and have no one to turn to. I managed to hold it together to get the kids to school then fell apart.Last nig... View more

Hi. Sorry i haven't introduced myself. I've not posted here before so hope you will excuse my curent state. I'm sitting on the couch in tears and have no one to turn to. I managed to hold it together to get the kids to school then fell apart.Last night my husband told me he wants to leave. We'd had an argument about stupid stuff and it got full on. Now he won't take my calls today.He's not been himself for the last month, quitting smoking and been on medication to do so. I feel the medication has altered his perception and has made him quite nasty at times. He's certainly been biting my head off a lot of blaming me for it. We've had problems like all marriages and at times things have been pretty bad. We've always managed to get past it by talking when things have calmed. This is really scaring me though. I don't want to lose my husband but im worried he will follow through with this decision amd there will be nothing i can say or do to prevent it.So so lost right. I feel physically ill with worry.

jojo05 Husband left unexpectedly
  • replies: 13

4 months ago my husband came completely out of the blue and told me he didnt love me anymore and wants a divorce. I was completely shocked and confused. We have had problems in the past but have worked through them and we were having some small issus... View more

4 months ago my husband came completely out of the blue and told me he didnt love me anymore and wants a divorce. I was completely shocked and confused. We have had problems in the past but have worked through them and we were having some small issuse then, mostly because of our work loads, but it wasnt some thing that couldnt be fixed and nothing that would come to this happening. I asked him why he felt like that and he told me he didnt now, it just happens, we grew apart, our marriage fizzled, things changed from our last problems and so on, seemed to me he was coming up with any old excuse. I dont believe this happens for no reason so i did my own investigations. I found out he had been doing alot of stuff behind my back while he was at work, he had a secret facebook page, he added friends from his past (mostly females) that i had never heard of or ever met and he was meeting up with them, and i was clueless to all of it. I couldnt believe it, it was like he was living another life without me. He moved out 4 days later and has been living a whole new life like me and our marriage ment nothing. We have stayed in contact, although it has become less now and i seem to be the one that contacts him first, and most contact is by text. i believe he left me to be with someone else but he denies it, he has joined singles sites, which he denies and he has been really secretive and lies alot like he has things to hide. He has had mild depression for as long as ive known him but has dealt with it pretty well. After he left he says his depression had come back and he had things in himself he had to sort out. Well all of a sudden he is feeling so much better now that he doesnt feel guilty about anything he had done and why should he, so he things, (apparently a councillor said he shouldnt) obviously thats what he was depressed about and so he should who does the things he was doing, he makes me feel as though im to blame for him being depressed. The past few months have been horrible, ive had to move to my mothers in another state because i was struggling financilly he has left me to deal with everything, i even had to pack his stuff. i still love him and miss him heaps even after all the BS he has done. I cant believe how clueless i was to any of the things he was doing, its like i mean nothing to him and it was so easy for him to walk away even though the things that were wrong could have been fixed. Ive never felt this worthless in my life ever.

Polka_Dots An issue of morality
  • replies: 3

I have a problem with anxiety and depression I also have a really aggressive sibling with mental health problems. We are estranged because I fear for my safety and health. However, my parents, still feel sorry for him and put his needs before mine. T... View more

I have a problem with anxiety and depression I also have a really aggressive sibling with mental health problems. We are estranged because I fear for my safety and health. However, my parents, still feel sorry for him and put his needs before mine. There has always been a lax set of guidelines for him and a different really strict set of rules for me. I feel like I am the second child, even though we are not children anymore. I think they’re really scared of him and, despite what every psychiatric expert has said, they give him what he wants because it’s easier for them. Here's my current dilemma that I'd like people's opinions on before I lose yet another night of sleep over it. We go away to a seaside town a lot and the problem I have is that my parents always invite him. He doesn’t always pitch but it’s enough to ruin a holiday. Last time I was meant to go with him and they invited him last minute and I back out. They were really hurt and angry at me. So we are going away for Easter and I’ve agreed to go. I asked if he was invited and they said no. Happy because I love them and we have fun together. However, I don’t trust them, just by some underhanded comments they have made. I am really scared that if I go he’ll turn up and I’ll be stranded there in the same house with no way of getting home until we leave. Even though I’ve made my terms and conditions fr going very clear. I feel really sick and scared in his presence but my parents don’t care about that. It’s already ruining the trip for me. But I don’t want to hurt their feelings again and deal with all that drama by backing out. Especially as this time it's a familiy religious celebration. I also don’t want to spend another holiday by myself and I think active holidays are good for my own mental health whereas sitting at home watching crap movies is not. I think it’s really unfair that my trips away are dictated by my parents and sibling- I am over 21- and that my feelings are put last when I try to do the right thing. I’ll be really hurt if it turns out they’ve lied to me to protect his feelings too. So do I stay and feel awful or go and possibly have a good time or possibly risk being stuck in an unsafe situation with no way to get out until the close of the trip? Or am I just being an anxiety person who is worrying too much like I always do? I'm interested in people's thoughts because this is going to set a precedent.