Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Gypsyangel Was I wrong to leave?
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone Feeling at a loss. 7 years ago I went through a group of stressful events. I lost both my grandmother's 3 months apart, had to walk away from my dream business as it was illegally sold to me. Then to top it off my son, then 13 came to me ... View more

Hi everyone Feeling at a loss. 7 years ago I went through a group of stressful events. I lost both my grandmother's 3 months apart, had to walk away from my dream business as it was illegally sold to me. Then to top it off my son, then 13 came to me in tears and completely distressed telling me all the horrible things my then husband had been saying to him about me. He basically ran me down as a person to my son. From sexual content to how useless I was. This shattered my world. I asked him to leave and he agreed to go stay at the farm house. He continued to take out his issues on my son when he had contact. His behavior became even more erratic after I told him I wasn't coming back. 6 years later I am fighting depression, anxiety, trying to survive and now finally settlement. He is and has made everything so very difficult. I just want all this to end. It's been a nightmare. I sometimes think should I have stayed and lived a miserable life doing what he thought I should be doing....was it wrong of me to leave?

Alx Separated and staying in same house ... She is seeing someone else
  • replies: 13

My wife has instigated separation and I don't want to be, I told her I would fight to save my family with some success but also a couple of huge failures. I'm now not in a good place mentally as she is seeing another guy leaving me home to get our 3 ... View more

My wife has instigated separation and I don't want to be, I told her I would fight to save my family with some success but also a couple of huge failures. I'm now not in a good place mentally as she is seeing another guy leaving me home to get our 3 boys through the evening routines while she is at her "friends" house

Nene How do I let go?
  • replies: 15

How do I stop wanting to contact me husband and son. It is clear they both don't want anything to do with me. Neither will answer their phones. My husband is going to visit my son and grandchildren for a couple of days. I want to be in a space where ... View more

How do I stop wanting to contact me husband and son. It is clear they both don't want anything to do with me. Neither will answer their phones. My husband is going to visit my son and grandchildren for a couple of days. I want to be in a space where it doesn't matter. I have to accept that the situation is what it is. I just am finding it hard to get to that place where it doesn't matter and doesn't hurt. How is it though when they say and do really hurtful things that they cut off contact? In a general sense, why do people do that?

Ryan86 Confused and unsure
  • replies: 2

Am I such a bad person that for the past week or so I have been entertaining thoughts of not being with Emily.i love her and care for her don't get me wrong there but all the arguments and frustration over anything is getting to the point where a dec... View more

Am I such a bad person that for the past week or so I have been entertaining thoughts of not being with Emily.i love her and care for her don't get me wrong there but all the arguments and frustration over anything is getting to the point where a decision has to be made.i don't necessarily want break up no, I just want one day where there no arguments no outbursts of anger or frustration, is one day to much to ask?I have even on brief periods looked at dating sites but quickly stop. We're currently looking for a house and have a third person join us and if something doesn't happen soon then I don't know what will happen, one thing I do know is is that unless something changes then I won't be with my partner ,and I do want to be with her,as it only going to hurt me and trying to improve my recovery. Everything I do seems to be wrong and I can do nothing right or that's the impression I get from people. I have no other reason to think that as she only ever focuses on the negative she only ever shows happiness for certain things and none of them seem to be anything I can do so fingers crossed something changes.

MisterM My family just don't understand me
  • replies: 10

And it angers me and is part of the reason I feel depressed. I feel like an abnormal freak amongst them. I am an artistic individual yet they expect me to have the normal work, buy a house, marry, have kids lifestyle. I don't care for all that as muc... View more

And it angers me and is part of the reason I feel depressed. I feel like an abnormal freak amongst them. I am an artistic individual yet they expect me to have the normal work, buy a house, marry, have kids lifestyle. I don't care for all that as much as I do for making music. My tastes and views of the world are so different. For example, my family are conservatives whereas I am left leaning with my views. The music I like isn't the radio music, it is artistic, edgy, loud, hard. My choice in fashion is different. Everything is different about me compared to my family.

lilly07 Im so confused by what hes doing
  • replies: 15

Hello . I really hope someone will be able to help me. Ive been dating a great guy for about 8 months. He has clinical depression and anxiety. His way of coping is to cut me off for a few days ,when hes ready he gets back in touch and we have got bac... View more

Hello . I really hope someone will be able to help me. Ive been dating a great guy for about 8 months. He has clinical depression and anxiety. His way of coping is to cut me off for a few days ,when hes ready he gets back in touch and we have got back on track .On monday he said he wanted to try living together, he said if i didnt want the same ,he wanted to finish our relationship. I do love this man and said i was open to this move forward. He told me for the first time that he loved me. He was going to come round tomorrow to talk about our future. I sent him a txt today saying "thankyou for loving me , i love you too". He messaged me several hours later saying he didnt love me and could only now offer friendship. I know he has trust issues with women because of a 30year marriage that came to an end a couple of years ago.His ex wife left him for someone he knew. I dont know what to do, my heart is breaking . Hes told me to leave him alone. ​

scott12 My girlfriend resents me
  • replies: 6

Background - I worked full time for almost 10 yrs straight out of highschool, but I decided I wasn't happy and I have returned to uni to complete a degree so I can gain a career that I am passionate about. I met my girlfriend almost a year ago and or... View more

Background - I worked full time for almost 10 yrs straight out of highschool, but I decided I wasn't happy and I have returned to uni to complete a degree so I can gain a career that I am passionate about. I met my girlfriend almost a year ago and originally she was very proud of the fact that I was improving myself (education and career wise). I have two years left on my degree. Being a student I don't have a lot of money. This has meant that we can't go on expensive holidays, and most likely can't move out together yet. The initial pride she had has slowly turned into resentment for the fact that, my current situation means we can't do all the things we want to do. She said she feels like I am holding her back and that she doesn't want to 'pause' her life for another two years while I finish my study. She is very open to me about her feelings. I keeps telling me that she is sorry and she loves me and I want to believe her but never the less, this is just how she feels. I have always been the mentally strong and optimistic one in our relationship. She suffers from anxiety and sometimes depression and I do everything I can to help her but I don't know what to do about her growing resentment. She is naturally negative as well and seems convinced that this problem is just going to keep getting worse. It makes me question if she is really as invested in this relationship as I am. Is it too much to ask for a girlfriend who appreciates the efforts I am going to to make a better life instead of resenting me for what she basically thinks is a waste of her life. Isn't the life we could build together worth the wait? Any help/suggestions/outside opinion would be really appreciated. How do I keep this relationship from falling apart?

ChubbyBoo12 Married but Alone
  • replies: 18

This is my first time using this outlet so please bear with me. I have been married for 9 years and our lives are entrenched because we own a business together. Earlier this year, I discovered, by accident, some emails between him and a mutual friend... View more

This is my first time using this outlet so please bear with me. I have been married for 9 years and our lives are entrenched because we own a business together. Earlier this year, I discovered, by accident, some emails between him and a mutual friend. He shared personal things about our relationship with her. I was furious. He calmed me down and explained that she was a good friend and nothing more. He said that he loved her but as a friend and he needed to maintain his friendship with her to have some balance in life. Now things have become more serious. He has another confidante Miss X with whom he smses morning, noon and night. She is overseas and he has not met her yet. He has his mobile phone with him all the time. His excuse is that I have pushed him away for 3 years and drove him to this. I do not believe that we had not been intimate for 3 years. It is very unlikely but he says that this is the case. I explained that I have been going through that symptoms of being on the Pill and Perimenopause. He does not believe me and thinks that I am using this as an excuse. He is now stressed and depressed because he does not know what to do. I have been a loyal, caring wife and we have a business together so he needs me here. However, Miss X is also important to him and he does not feel stressed smsing her. I have told him exactly how I feel and asked for another chance to be a wife to him. He says that I have been controlling and not grateful for the life that I have. It is not that I am ungrateful. What I keep asking for is to do couple things. All we communicate about is about the business, AFL and extended family issues. So nowadays, I just do what I have to do with the house and business. He says that I am driving him crazy by asking questions. From Saturday, I have not mentioned Miss X at all. I know that it has only been 4 days but I think that I have done well. I am in limbo at the moment. Do not know where this will end. I do not want him to be with me because of obligation but I know that that is one of the factors. I gave up my country, family, friends to come here to start my life here with him. I trusted him and believed that it will be forever. I guess I was naive. We still talk and on some nights, we are intimate. I am trying to be a good wife to him. He says that he needs a holiday so he is going on one. He is going to do a course but I am pretty sure that he will meet her as it is the same country. I am so lonely and just needed to write.

Gypsyangel Not a 'normal' relationship
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone! I need some advice/different points of view please. I am currently part of a 'relationship' that I am finding very frustrating. We don't spend much physical time together because he is always working. He lives at the workshop as well. I ... View more

Hi everyone! I need some advice/different points of view please. I am currently part of a 'relationship' that I am finding very frustrating. We don't spend much physical time together because he is always working. He lives at the workshop as well. I find it hard to get any quality time together or even just do things together. We do talk a bit on the phone but that's really the extent of the relationship. There's always excuses or reasons why we can't see each other. I feel kept at a distance and on hold until he wants to see me. I also feel it's a toxic relationship because I become more anxious and depressed when we have contact. I feel trapped and am really struggling to get away. I have told him I am unhappy. He just says it will be all good soon. I feel like I am the support for him but my needs aren't getting met. My struggle is mostly on my own.

Wattle411 sex drive?
  • replies: 4

Hi there I was recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety and partly due to a past traumatic sexual experience. For my teen years I was just like any normal sex crazed tteenager and I thought everything was fine but more recently I have started t... View more

Hi there I was recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety and partly due to a past traumatic sexual experience. For my teen years I was just like any normal sex crazed tteenager and I thought everything was fine but more recently I have started to lose all interest in any sexual act and it sometimes disgusts me and I hate myself for doing it when I do. This lack of interest has put a barrier between my partner and I because he feels like sex is a way to show affection and appreciation and because I don't want to put out he feels as though I don't love him anymore. I have tried to explain how I'm feeling but I don't think he really understands. I don't want us to break up because I don't feel comfortable at the moment but I don't want to force myself to sleep with him when I don't want to either as that will cause even bigger issues. What can I do to fix this??? Thank you very much for your help!