Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

[LosingFaith]

Hi people,

I’m interested in finding out how “others think” in this situation.

If you were in a long distance relationship and your partner sent you a handmade gift for Valentine’s Day, you get the parcel delivered on the day but you weren’t available to sign for it, Do you;

A - Pick it up the next business day?
B - Pick it up mid week?
C - Pick it up a week later
D - Don’t pick it up?

And why did you choose your answer?

Then... if it was the opposite way around, and it was you that sent your partner something, specifically handmade for them and they say they’re picking it up “this arvo” and don’t end up picking it up, how would it make you feel?

[geoff]

Hello LosingFaith, if I was able to have someone in a long distance relationship, which is never an easy one to have for various reasons, but they sent me a present and not able to sign for it's delivery, then I'd contact them and apologise.

The choice between the options you have listed would depend on the love you have for this person.

If you decide not to pick the present up then there is no love between you and this person.

Love goes both ways and sure if you want to see what they've sent you, it would be the next business day.

The opposite is if I sent a present to someone I love in a long distance r/l and they don't want to pick it up, then I'd be very upset, proof they don't want anything to do with me.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[LosingFaith]

Hi Geoff,

Thank you for your reply.

This is exactly how I’m thinking. If I was sent something from my love, and needed to pick it up from the post office, I’d be there straight away to pick it up.

I was the one whom sent the gift. I apologised to her saying that I’m sorry she wasn’t there to sign for it. She said “it’s nothing to go to the post office to pick it up.”

Anyhow, It has been a week today and my girlfriend still hasn’t picked up her parcel yet. It’s making me feel like my sending her this gift was a waste of my time and money. I couldn’t really afford to post it away, but I did because I love her. It was my Valentine’s Day gift to her and I’m heartbroken. 😔

[TheBigBlue]

It really depends on the situation.

My commute & office hours means I am not able to get to my local post office during the week. Leaving only Sat morning provided I am out of bed in time.

If it was a gift from a partner though, I would make an effort to collect it the first Sat I could.

But sometimes life can get in the way, even if it seems like a simple thing to go & collect a parcel. Perhaps your partner just caught up in some of those life moments too?

[LosingFaith]

Hi, TheBigBlue,

Thank you for your reply.

I get that life can be busy. Although, she is not currently working, she recently arranged to spend a night in the city this week - just for the sake of it, telling me that she wished I was there. She’s often out and about and going to her regular sporting events etc. I just find it very upsetting.
I spent many hours putting her gift together and had it sent in time for Valentine’s Day, for her not to even bother picking it up.
I was actually going to bake some homemade cookies and put them in there for her aswell. I’m glad I didn’t, because they’d be no good.

[quirkywords]

Losing faith,

Geoff and the bigblue, have given helpful reokues.

If someone is a disorganised and forgetful person as I can be, they just not get around to picking up parcel so reading too much into the delayed response may not be helpful.

I am sure she will like the present and appreciate the effort,

Quirky

[LosingFaith]

Hi Quirky,

Thank you for your reply.

It’s hard not reading into things when it’s a long distance relationship. All types of things go through my head.
I do understand people do forget. It’s just upsetting.

[quirkywords]

Losing faith

I have been in a couple of long distance relationships, one that worked for a while and one that didn't.

I feel your frustration and disappointment and hope it works out well for you.

You are kind person.

Quirky

[geoff]

Hello LosingFaith, I am truly sorry that she didn't pick it up, it was Valentine's Day present, that's a special day for a couple who love each other and has a particularly significant meaning, I would be very upset as well.

I don't understand why she says 'it’s nothing to go to the post office to pick it up' but still didn't and question marks I'd be asking.

It's a tough time at the moment and my heart would be broken.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Betternow]

My answer would be A. That of course is assuming that I have the means and time to get to the post office. Many people work long hours and the PO is shut by the time they get home from work.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be significant for those in love but I think we also to question how relevant is it to ALL people. My own daughter for example, when I asked her how she plans to spend Valentines Day with her husband, she responded “Nada, we don’t go in for American crap”. Does your girlfriend place importance to Valentines Day?

Having said that though, I agree with Geoff that her tardiness would be very disappointing, no matter how she viewed Valentines Day.

By the way, did she send you a Valentines Day gift?