Lonely nights

CMF · ‎02-07-2023

Hi there,

Anyone in a relationship but still feel lonely? I love time to myself but I find my self struggling lately when my partner goes home Sunday arvo & I'm sitting here on my own. I'm on my own every night when my little miss goes to bed. My partner calls, we chat & that's fine but Sunday nights are getting hard. Maybe cos it's school holidays & little miss is at her dads? I look forward to going to work Monday so I can forget about it. The weekday routine is tiring but good. Maybe I'm not enjoying my weekends with my partner so I feel lonely in general & when he's gone it's amplified.

Anyone feel the same?

Cmf

CMF · ‎04-07-2023

Well I did ask tonight why we were struggling to fond something to do last Sunday. He said cos it's cold & miserable so doesn't make you feel like doing much. He also said he has a voucher for a winery & he may book for this Sunday. I'm trying not to make up things in my mind that are not correct. Feeling bit better tonight.

Sialani · ‎04-07-2023

His actions and efforts will be what will show you over his words. I hope that he means what he says and is willing to put in effort with you. Make sure if it happens you enjoy this time together. And definitely know being open and valid to your feelings is always the best way moving forward in regards to anything:)

CMF · ‎06-07-2023

Thanks Sialani,

He was looking after nt 10yo today as i had an appt & he's a teacher so on holidays. He has to drop into work to do a few things & took little miss in to 'help '. He then did some sport with her in the gym & took her to crispy creme for milkshake & doughnut. I asked him to stay for dinner so we watched a movie beforehand & tv afterward. His boys leave for the start of their overseas trip end of this month. Seeing as it's just him & sis at home I'm thinking I'll invite him for dinner during the week. Hopefully he can spend some time with me while his boys are gone & before he goes overseas to meet them.

We'll see how that plays out.

Sialani · ‎08-07-2023

That sounds all good and kind of him to do this for you and with your child. He seems to have made and effort. I’m so glad you asked him to stay and use got to spend time together. There is never anything wrong with asking. I really hope everything works out well for you and would love to hear how things are going in a few weeks. Here is you need to talk about it. Take care

quirkywords · ‎08-07-2023

CMF and Sialini

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas. Living with someone and still feel lonely and alone is hard.
CMF you have many good things in your relationship and I hope sharing it has helped.

CMF · ‎09-07-2023

Hi Quirky & Sialani

Quirky, lovely to see you here. Yes, he always makes an effort, and ensures little miss has fun. Quirky you are right. I have many good things in my relationship. I'm always looking for negatives, especially if I'm not feeling great. The situation with sis is annoying though. Today we had a lovely day out at a beautiful winery. I don't feel lonely now that I'm home alone. I feel ok.

Cmf

Sialani · ‎10-07-2023

That’s great to hear. It’s hard when we focus on the negative things instead of the positive things. It can be really overwhelming and lonely to feel like that and it’s hard to get out of at times. I wish you all the best and hear to listen or talk.

Toni_Hall · ‎11-07-2023

I was feeling this until recently, yes. We have now decided to take a break, but I'm not sure if I'll be willing to pick things back up when the time comes. He fell into a deep depression and was struggling after losing his job, and my career took off, but my ex was making my life hell. We love each other, but he struggled to be there for me, and I was very lonely. I never wanted to put pressure on him, but eventually it got too much to ask me to wait around, so I asked for a break. Not missing him because he's not 'supposed' to be here has reduced that sense of loneliness more than I thought it would.

CMF · ‎22-07-2023

Hi Toni_Hall

Sorry to hear of what's occurred on your relationship. It is hard when our partner's can't be there. I find it hard when I'm anxious & I know he doesn't understand so I stay quiet & in turn feel lonely. Interesting what you mention. That he's not "supposed" to be there. Bit like putting a wall up perhaps? My partner's sons are going overseas next week, he & his sister are meeting them over there 2 weeks later. Not sure how I'm feeling about it yet. His sis is another story & knowing they are away playing happy family with his boys gives me a weird feeling. Not sure if I'll feel anxious,lonely or will enjoy time to myself.

At the end on the day I'm the one alone while he's off having fun with others. I couldn't go with them so not his fault, but it is weird.

Time will tell.

CMF · ‎22-07-2023

I hope he doesn't ask me if I'll miss him while he's away. I'm sure I will but I also spend my week nights watching TV alone while he watches shows with his sis. He then tells me I should watch it. I really hate that he watches with her but I have to watch alone. I don't watch them. He'll say he'll miss me but really? He's over there busy, having fun not spending his weekends alone. I may also not miss him cos he's not supposed to be here ie I might put a block on it.