So here’s the story. He works overseas. Last year, may we had sex before he leaves for work again. Then he went back to our country again but never had sex then until now. So I’m just waiting for may this year so it’ll be official 1 year. Last time he went home, he fetched us and come with him here in Australia. We’re living now on a hotel appartment. As I was cleaning the bedroom, i found a hair clamp under the bed. I asked him and said it was probably from the previous who rented the apartment. I felt the change on his behaviour ever since he worked here and he’s always on his phone. Most of the time I found him smirking in front of it. One time I approached him because I’m so curious about what he’s doing on his phone. And he immidiately dismisses me, trying his best to keep his phone away from me. Telling me stuffs, gaslighting me. I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder 2 years ago and I’m on meds. Honestly my condition worsens because of our situation and now realizing that I have a weak support system. He mocks me about how he’s a good provider and make me feel like I’m useless because I don’t have a work. Well in fact, he’s the one who doesn’t want me to go to work before. And now that we’re here he’s forcing me to work. All these thoughts.. why he’s forcing me to work now? To bring his other woman in the apartment hotel? I told him about that and I felt like he’s manipulating me again. Why would he hide his phone to me knowing that I tend to overthink? Also the day before our anniversary? And after that he confess that he’s only looking at the flower’s website and he wants to surprise me so he doesn’t want me to see his phone. All of these I always think that he’s manipulating me. All these years that I’ve been battling with my condition. But the only thing that matters to him is how he’s making money and how good he is as a provider. Thinking that even my condition he doesn’t fully know. By the way I also have endometriosis. I’ve been diagnosed with that last year. It started from PCOS. All of these stress that I just kept inside of me. That my brother told me, I probably forgot how to feel normal. So for the the longest time being on survival mode because of my condition, I thought that it’s normal. I don’t know now what to do.
