I Will Never Understand Why They Treat Me This Way

[Gamechanger]

I am almost 60 years of age.  I have a twin sister.  She and I have never gotten along.  She was always a bully when we were kids.  She sided with our brothers and the three of them made my life hell.  Mum and Dad were very neglectful and did not do anything about this behaviour. 

As the years have gone  by she has continued to be rude, uncaring, mean and downright nasty towards me.  As I am a sensitive person I have not confronted her.  I cannot actually believe the negative impact she has on my life.  She is sanctimonious, judgemental, never validates me.  She enjoys seeing me struggle with life and she never helps.  All she does is judges me and tells  me what I do wrong and tells me I am a loser basically.  I have had a tough life and she sits back and smirks at me.  Although I have  managed to have my son (IVF) and sacrifice my beautiful home and life in 2007 as my husband was a violent alcoholic.  I have a lovely home and my son is a beautiful person.  I have done  all of this on my own with zero help from her or my mother.  I feel my whole life means  nothing to them. 

  Dad died years ago but now Mum is in her eighties and my twin sister has taken it upon herself to dote on Mum.  They are as thick as thieves.  I feel so lonely and unloved.  My sister has always tried to hurt my feelings and she has lately been doing some  really bad gaslighting stuff.  I am struggling in general  and  her actions are making me feel so bad.  She and Mum are still the same in that they stick together and exclude me.  I am supposed to care about them but I hate them.  I have never been treated well by either of them.  I have had some horrid traumas in my life and neither of them gave me any care or consideration. I am writing this because I feel I have to dump them from my life.  They bring no happiness.  Only shame and guilt.  Nothing I do is good enough for them.  They ridicule me and never validate me.  I think now looking back she was sick at birth and Mum  was obsessed  with  her and  neglected me.  It is crazy that they bother and upset me so much at my age but I really am  struggling over  what to  do.  For what it is worth they both got very ill with Covid over Xmas and I was running around after them for weeks.  They were never  there when I had my shoulder operation, my laparotomy and indeed my c section.  I just can't understand why.  I have done  nothing wrong.  I am so distressed.  I have a shit job and no life.  

[Croix]

Dear Gamechanger~

It's not really being paranoid, if you use a phone or computer there is always chance someoen else might be able ot switch it on or use yur account, though I"d think it would be unlikely. If htat was the case I'd expect from the type of people you are talking about thay would have mentioned it as a weapon or put-down by now.

Anyway I"m glad you have some positives things coming.

Please do not be surprised if after you anger fades you become a little sad at the break wiht oyur sister and  mother, after all, no matter how they behaved they were a part of your life. I guess the trick is not to let these feelings weaken your resolve if they have to remain blocked. I'd hope you start to feel more relaxed and yourself without their  influence.

You certainly deserve the chance to life a criticism free life

Croix