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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Rogger What is a romantic relationship?
  • replies: 4

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than... View more

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than mere friendships or even family relations in some situations, with people describing them as their "other half". However, this made me curious, I understand that marriage is a bit different, but at least in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, I personally struggle to understand how this is fundamentally different from a friendship. I understand that in mostly physical relationships, partners might be little more than acquaintances, but in a romantic relationship, wouldn't your boyfriend/girlfriend be essentially just a friend who you are attracted to, and who is also attracted to?

Farmers_wife Second place to the farm
  • replies: 4

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat ... View more

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat pack robes still in boxes from about 4 years ago, hubby won't fix bedroom until new cattle yards are built. Bathroom is revolting with paint peeling off the uneven walls but can't get any tradies here for at least 12mths so hubby says book one in & when the time comes we'll see if we can afford it. Our dream home came up for sale in 2022 but we were 60k short because we bought a baler on finance on accountant advice. I fear we're stuck in a very old house that needs a lot of work for the rest of our lives. I'm absolutely fed up with feeling like me & the house are second fiddle to the farm. Every time I bring it up we end in an argument & there's no one nearby I can talk with coz it'll get back to hubby & cause more arguing. I'm even questioning whether I should be leaving him & making a new life for myself. Doesn't help we never get a break unless it's shopping or medical related

CH14 Lonely & confused
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m a young woman (mid-20’s) who’s struggling with feeling insecure, unmotivated, sad and lonely. I know how it feels to be low. Recently, my best friend got a new best friend, and it’s left me feeling extremely isolated. My boyfriend has also di... View more

Hi, I’m a young woman (mid-20’s) who’s struggling with feeling insecure, unmotivated, sad and lonely. I know how it feels to be low. Recently, my best friend got a new best friend, and it’s left me feeling extremely isolated. My boyfriend has also distanced from me. I find it hard to vocalise how I feel. I feel a lot of sadness and pain and anger, but I also feel nothing. I hate who I am as a person - how I look, how I feel, my lifestyle. I try so hard to make things different for myself and nothing works. I feel unfulfilled professionally, and extremely lonely from my lack of friendships. Watching my best friend make different friends and support networks so easily makes me feel like I’m lacking. Because I don’t know why I’m not good enough to attract friends myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’m tired of trying so hard to feel good when nothing works. This year will be my first birthday ever spent alone. I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how to stop feeling bad about it. I see people all the time, happy, fulfilled, with multifaceted friendships and relationships. I feel so jealous. I crave someone who genuinely cares about me. I feel so confused, and lonely and sad. I feel like I can’t keep continuing like this because every time I get knocked down it hurts 10x more than the last. I know I’m not alone in this story. But waking up to a bleak existence doesn’t hurt any less. I really need something to live for. I wish I didn’t ruin relationships the way I have. Maybe that way I would actually have someone to message when I’m feeling low. I just wish that my old friends understood how sad I feel. When I’m in public, I feel claustrophobic and extremely insecure. And I find it hard meeting new people, prompting conversations etc. I just don’t know how to function like this

JJ281984 Hi in new here
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm new here. I was in a 12 year long-term relationship with my ex I also have a child with him I have another child to a previous relationship. My ex use to manipulative control me emotionally n mentally .we split when my youngest was 3 I was stu... View more

Hi I'm new here. I was in a 12 year long-term relationship with my ex I also have a child with him I have another child to a previous relationship. My ex use to manipulative control me emotionally n mentally .we split when my youngest was 3 I was stupid to go back and split for good in june 2020 , me n kids moved in our own place and loved living alone. my dog of 17 years passed and broke me hard . Met my current partner in 2021 my current situation is I find it hard to live with my partner my head feels like ii cant breathe when im around people all the time if too much going on I will outburst I have awful episodes my body shuts down no head cant breathe head hurts so much has alot of pressure I just lay there for days I can't function at all I'm weak my bones are weak um so depressed I shut the world out and don't talk to anyone it starts off with thoughts about my partner. I feel the same when living with my partner as with my ex I feel like im living back with my ex i feel isolated and so unhappy so depressed and that's what I was scared of happening again and it has but I feel great when I live alone happy as can be and I need my own safety place I need alot of space as my head always feels messed up alot the past year with My partner n living arrangements and I don't no what to do I also have fibromyalgia so I dont no if that has anything to do with mu on going episodes. Thank you for listening x

butterfly379 Guilt from divorce
  • replies: 4

Hi,New member here, feeling extreme guilt, loneliness and self-hate for ending my marriage. I won't state why I ended but more so feel terrible because of the impact it is having on our child. I feel selfish for putting what I wanted rather than the ... View more

Hi,New member here, feeling extreme guilt, loneliness and self-hate for ending my marriage. I won't state why I ended but more so feel terrible because of the impact it is having on our child. I feel selfish for putting what I wanted rather than the impact it would have on our child who has extra special needs and struggles with the transition between two places. All the anger I had against my ex has disappeared and I feel the opposite sad for him because his not coping with raising our child on his own; we have a shared care arrangement. I feel so guilty for breaking up our family and our child has no friends, siblings or cousins his age, the other night he stated he is very sad he doesn't have these things or a real family any more. I have moments of disbelief for what I did and feel lonely and isolated because I too struggle with friendships so I have no one to talk to and I have done and said things to my own family that upset them so not as close as what I thought it would be. I keep feeling like I want to go crawling back with my head between my knees very well knowing the marriage still wouldn't work but at least our child has a family again. I read alot of self-help books but I feel the content just isn't cutting it because I feel I don't deserve self-love, happiness etc when I never had gratitude for what I had, not thinking it through and destroying the solid foundation our child had.

Bee1998 Other girls make me feel threatened and insecure when i'm in a relationship
  • replies: 21

I have felt this way in every relationship I have had. The past two make sense, as I was cheated on by both partners, but I have been struggling with the same feelings in my current relationship. This has been the only healthy relationship I have had... View more

I have felt this way in every relationship I have had. The past two make sense, as I was cheated on by both partners, but I have been struggling with the same feelings in my current relationship. This has been the only healthy relationship I have had, and it frustrates me, because I'm with someone who I actually can trust for once in my life. It's not that I think my partner is cheating on me, it's smaller things that bother me, such as him wanting to have female friends, and being in an environment where girls are dressed provocatively and acting in a provocative manner. I don't know why these things bother me so much. I guess I am just scared of being abandoned, or that my partner will be sexually aroused by other females other than myself. I feel like I care about these things on a religious level (i'm not religious), but it seems to be the one and only thing that ever affects me while I'm in a relationship. I can't stand the thought of my partner dancing around girls in a club who are wearing next to nothing... The biggest concern for me is this one female friend he has, who he has been friends with since high school. She is the type of girl who would get satisfaction from stealing people's boyfriends. I know my partner wouldn't go there with her, but she does things that I feel are intentional, to get under my skin. For example, she was at my friend's memorial earlier this year. My partner was also there, as he went with me to support me. We ended up seeing his friend there, and this girl approached us to say hi to my partner, but completely disregarded my existence and didn't say hi to me. She gave my partner a hug and told him how much she missed him right in front of me. She later followed us over to the table we were sitting at and sat right beside my partner, so close that her entire body was up against his. (My partner and this girl were sitting opposite me). This made me really uncomfortable, and I was extremely angry because why wasn't my partner sitting next to me? He was there to support me after all, not for a high school reunion.... The whole time she was calling him pet names in front of me and not even talking to me or looking at me. Just continuously flirting with my boyfriend. My boyfriend went out with the same girl last night. She put up a story on instagram, which was a photo of herself in a skimpy crop top showing her cleavage and her nipples. I felt like she put that up to rub it in my face that she was with my boyfriend.

pvroom On the edge of wanting divorce
  • replies: 27

Hi, I have so many issues in my life but the biggest thing right now is that I'm so unhappy in my marriage. How am i supposed to know how to decide whether to separate or not? We have a 2 yr old and I cannot stand the idea of shared custody and hones... View more

Hi, I have so many issues in my life but the biggest thing right now is that I'm so unhappy in my marriage. How am i supposed to know how to decide whether to separate or not? We have a 2 yr old and I cannot stand the idea of shared custody and honestly, that is the main reason for staying together for me. He doesn't support me the way I need. He is so negative and unhappy himself but he won't do anything about it, he will just let it go on and on - both for him personally and in the relationship. I feel truly like I'm in a hopeless situation!

Julie_81 Anxiety over husband coming home...
  • replies: 10

I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have two children together. He has always been volatile and has mood swings, suffers from PTSD ect. I have always been the forgiving, placating one that says sorry and wants to stop the arguments and hi... View more

I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have two children together. He has always been volatile and has mood swings, suffers from PTSD ect. I have always been the forgiving, placating one that says sorry and wants to stop the arguments and his sometimes silent treatment. Lately after all this time of good and bad, ups and downs I feel that I can't do it anymore. I get extreme anxiety when he comes home from work, I work later myself so I don't have to come home. When I hear his car coming up the driveway I feel scared, I don't know what mood he will be in. I have to stop being myself and start pretending. I am walking on eggshells when around him and often say the wrong thing, which causes him to get angry. He has let me know that he will be having a day off and instead of being happy for him I feel angry as he has ruined my plans that I have made with my work, I will have to postpone them because he gets angry if I have something to do when he is free. I feel that I am slipping into depression, can't cope and overeating is my way of coping. I am overweight, which just gives him another way to put me down. I know that I am not perfect and I am sure that he has just as many complaints about me but I just don't know what to do. I am powerless as I don't want to talk to him about how I feel, don't want to have a marriage breakdown, put my children through hell... I am just stuck He works hard and I do love him but it is not right that I am feeling this way. All I want to do is sleep and do my own thing, the less I interact with others the better as I feel I am a failure and just don't want to get into an argument with him. Any advice would be appreciated, thankyou

vixstar Has anyone made the decision to not have children due to their mental illness?
  • replies: 3

I am in a stable and loving marriage and am getting to the age where the window for having children is very small.I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, OCD and depression and it has been present for much of my adult life. I am medicated and see... View more

I am in a stable and loving marriage and am getting to the age where the window for having children is very small.I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, OCD and depression and it has been present for much of my adult life. I am medicated and see a psychologist regularly.I have never been the type of person that needed to be a Mum more if it happened great if not then it’s not meant to be.As I get older my struggle with my mental health has been the driving factor in making the decision to remain childless. This life is not easy and even though a part of me thinks I would be a good Mum, I would never forgive myself if my child inherited my illnesses. I know firsthand it just makes things so much harder in an already difficult world.Even though I haven’t come to this decision lightly at times it still makes me sad with many intrusive thoughts about my relationship, loneliness, guilt and shame.It is hard to see friends with their families particulary at this time of the year and not feel some regret. I don’t discuss this topic with others as it is difficult for them to understand. Just wanting to know if there is anyone who is experiencing similar or may have also made the decision to not have children due to their own health. Thanks for taking the time to read this far.

Giggyy how do i deal with intense loneliness
  • replies: 5

my birthday is coming up and due to my autism I have never developed fulfilling relationships, I dont have anyone to spend time with and that won't usually bother me, except that this year everyone in my family has been reminding me how "sad" and "we... View more

my birthday is coming up and due to my autism I have never developed fulfilling relationships, I dont have anyone to spend time with and that won't usually bother me, except that this year everyone in my family has been reminding me how "sad" and "weird" I am for not having any friends and making my own birthday cake, it really made me think about how lonely I really am. I never really celebrate my birthday I just sit alone in my room, it makes me upset to come to the realisation that I truly don't have anyone close to me who cares about mehow do I stop feeling so bad about having no friends?