I’ve been struggling for a very long time with really bad germ phobia / ocd

[Sammy_347]

Hey so I think I’ve had a few mental health concerns such as ocd, sh, anxiety and depression for a few years, I’m very introverted and struggle talking to people especially my parents, they don’t seem to understand and always gaslight me and I’ve stopped trying. 

for as long as I can remember I’ve struggled very bad with germ phobia, ocd and potentially agrophobia. I get so anxious and start to feel physically sick and panic and I can’t stop thinking about the potential germs,  i have a really bad compulsive actions to do with the number 7 to try and get me to cope and it’s become so bad people have started to notice. for a while I did sh as it helped me cope but I have stopped doing that. This is very hard to put into words but like any place that isn’t my own bedroom (because I do all my own washing and wipe everything down) even other rooms in the house I get so nervous about germs bought in from other places. I’ve been at the same school my entire life which was a familiar place and I’m in my second year of uni, I have noticed that I’ve been struggling with the classrooms and public transport getting there. I can’t touch the remote, light, switches door handles and chairs without panicking slightly and obsessively washing my hands or my body so much that I go through an 1L of body wash a week. It’s become extremely difficult to cope with recently with the pandemic and builders coming in and out of the house as we r renovating, we also now have cleaners which make me extremely anxious and as soon as they leave I have to go and obsessively reclean my bathroom and bedroom. I also hate it when people sit on my bed even if it’s just the doona. I also have the worst phobias of airports and planes where I feel physically sick the entire day I travel, sometimes I even vomit. I have specific clothes which I wear on the plane even when they have been washed I don’t rewear them at home. It’s gotten to the point when I can’t cope with it anymore and people around me have noticed, I’ve even considered ending my life. If anyone is going through anything similar or has any tips on how to ask for help or talk to a professional I’d appreciate it so much. 
Thanks

[Croix]

Dear Sammy_347~

Welcome here to the Forum, it's a good place to think of when things get too hard. And by the sound of it you have had things hard for a very long time. Living with all those restrictions and worries sounds terrible, and you desrve a better life.

I think you have done and excellent job to get as far as you have considering what you are up against.

I'm sorry your parents are not trying to help, and it looks like from what you say they don't want to know. Just that in itself can be very upsetting, after all a parent's job is to protect and help.

OK, so the things to do is see a doctor, as a second year uni student you'd be old enough not to need permission.  It can feel very hard to set everything out face to face, and if that is worrying you then I'd suggest you do as I've done before now and write out what has been happening. Take a couple of days to get everything right and then book an extended consultation and share the paper.

I used point form, not a long block of test,  and it worked well. I just was asked questions on what I'd written. While my condition is a different one to yours I never managed to improve things by myself, and treatment was the answer for me.

If you have trouble writing out the list just show the doctor your post above, I'm pretty sure they will get the idea.

Sometimes it can take a little while to get an appointment, in the meantime if you are under 25 I'd recommend giving The Kids Help Line a web-chat or even better a ring and talk with them. They are very experienced and can give good advice.

If you would like to tell us we would like to know how you get on

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Croix