I think my husband is gay

[Guest_18620376]

Hi, my husband and I have been in an occasional open marriage since forever. It has never been an issue until I saw him on adult sites as "Bisexual". He is on a lot of male oriented sites also. A lot.  I have asked him about it as we talk openly and he said he has just been experimenting.  This is ok with me but I just feel as though I am missing something. Especially since I know he watches so much male on male porn. Please don't think I am being judgemental but I am unsure how to handle it and it is making me feel suspicious and anxious. Also if he is gay, then I want to support him 100%. Any advice from others that have experienced similar situations would be so appreciated. Have a great day. 

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Hello - I haven’t experienced this situation but I just wanted to offer you support. It sounds to me like it would be good to set aside some time for a discussion to work through some of the issues you raise. I think just being honest about your worries are will help. Depending on how it goes, it may be worth engaging in relationship counseling to assist you both to work out the way forward.

[sbella02]

Hey there,

Thank you so much for posting here, welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this, it sounds like a really difficult situation to be in.

I've not experienced anything similar, but I can offer a third party perspective. It could really be as simple as having a conversation with him about how you've been feeling and what you've noticed, and giving him the opportunity to share his thoughts and feelings with you. You mentioned that you've already asked him about it, but I'd go beyond this and share how you've been feeling and what your concerns are (e.g. that he may leave you, or maybe that he's keeping things from you, etc.). If you're feeling nervous about this kind of conversation, have a look online into resources that go through how to build assertiveness when preparing for difficult conversations.

In the meantime, we're here to listen if you'd like to share more or get more off your chest. 

Take good care, 

SB