Dear New Member~
I'd like to give you a warm welcome to the Forum and realise this can be a hard subject to talk about.
Frankly you do not have a person who I would regard as a partner or husband. (Please excuse me for being blunt). For me that person has to look after my welfare, not make life harder and engage in intimacy if both enjoy it. They have to see you as a real person, not an extension of their personal desires.
Sadly that does not appear to be the case here. Your husband is not only using porn, which is fantasy, but is also expecting you to join in, irrespective of your feelings or real life. From your words he has driven you from being someone who may at first have enjoyed sex to being someone who no longer does -due ot his behavior and demands.
I am not sure that being intimate once a week is doing anything other than putting you though a harrowing expereince to no gain. If he does sleep with someone else you will not only have the emotional pain, but also have to worry about STDs.
Unfortunatly you are not just dealing with one set of compulsive behaviors, but two as he has alcohol issues as well. Both are extremely hard to stop, and require both skilled psychological treatment and also a genuine desire to stop.
May I suggest whatever you decide to do that you yourself need support and would suggest seeing your doctor with a view to obtaining a psychologist or counceling to help you cope and also give you advice about what resources are available..
Additionally do you have a friend or family member you can take into your confidence? Having someone that listens and cares about you makes a difference.
You know you are always welcome here
Croix
