Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest_81493431 anxiety estrangement from family
  • replies: 2

helloI'm new to this forum ; seeking help coping with siblings over exclusion from friendship and support initiated by family estate

helloI'm new to this forum ; seeking help coping with siblings over exclusion from friendship and support initiated by family estate

mikasa5ever best friend suddenly ended our friendship of 4 years and now i'm confused on what to do
  • replies: 1

It happened on Sunday before I started going to school. She sent me a VERY long text message on discord about how our friendship had lots of problems and how I've been becoming more distant towards her. She even confessed that she's been thinking abo... View more

It happened on Sunday before I started going to school. She sent me a VERY long text message on discord about how our friendship had lots of problems and how I've been becoming more distant towards her. She even confessed that she's been thinking about this for MONTHS, and at the end of her message, she told me not to reply or interact with her anymore... so I didn't say anything. Even though I really, REALLY wanted to tell her what I've been thinking. It's Wednesday, 8:32 AM, and I'm in class wondering what happened between us to get to this point. Perhaps it was because we're in different schools now, and I've been experiencing HS without her, or the fact that she felt excluded while I had all the fun or something. I don't know. I'm really bad at pointing out the problems with myself.And speaking of emotions, my mental health has recently started to take a deep decline ever since she moved schools. Now that we are no longer friends, I don't know what I'm living for anymore. My only reason for going to school was because I wanted to see her in University and live together, and now...?? Look, I understand how life can get better, but this time, I'm not even sure it will BE better. Especially with how the world's kind of going down in flames or something, er... IDK. I feel empty inside. My mood swings are more irregular and I just jump from feeling happy to feeling depressed and pessimistic. My best friends no longer my best friend, I'm doing terribly in maths, everything in my life feels like it's going to fall apart and I'm going to be at the root of it. Please just give me anything to help with my emotions. I'm lost.

Guest_61614070 Anger issues
  • replies: 1

I don't know what to say and how to feel about it but sometimes I feel that I would never be able to get rid of the anger I have inside me because of my past traumatic experiences. Getting married to the love of my life and dreaming about the perfect... View more

I don't know what to say and how to feel about it but sometimes I feel that I would never be able to get rid of the anger I have inside me because of my past traumatic experiences. Getting married to the love of my life and dreaming about the perfect life and then ending up getting dictated by his mother about how to dress how to live and literally how to spend the entire day. And then the constant feeling of not being good enough for him and his family. Always ending up feeling guilty for raising your concerns or voice even for the right reason. Seems like I am still stuck at that phase. I have moved out of my country. My MIL for now isn't living with me. I live with my husband but whenever I feel even a little that I am being dictated and controlled, it makes me so angry and panic

al_ch Depressed yet somehow being a good husband
  • replies: 2

Hello there So, this kind of started while my wife was pregnant. Couldn't sleep and lots of changes going on for both of us (new job, moving house and baby on the way). GP thought it would be a good idea to try and put me on medication so I've been o... View more

Hello there So, this kind of started while my wife was pregnant. Couldn't sleep and lots of changes going on for both of us (new job, moving house and baby on the way). GP thought it would be a good idea to try and put me on medication so I've been on that for 2 years. Fast forward 2 years and between baby having eating tantrums and wife over worrying about the smallest things, it doesn't feel like there is improvement. I think I'm a good husband. I work full time and manage to be home every night. Fridge is always full, baby has everything baby could need and want, wife is somewhat spoiled I think. She does think I should do something for myself, but I just don't have the energy or the headspace for it. I'm not a big drinker, but once or twice a week in the evening I'll sit outside under the veranda, watch TV while drinking a few scotches. Somehow I feel guilty doing that too at the start, but then of course, the alcohol takes effect. Is this everyday life for new fathers? Does it get better? She hints she wants another in a few years, but I can't go through this again!

Guest_97906741 family situation affecting my work at university
  • replies: 1

hi, i am new here so not sure if i am writing this correctly but just wanted to see if anyone has some ideas for what i should do at this time/similar stories. about a month ago, my dad told my mum out of the blue (they were having a few issues in th... View more

hi, i am new here so not sure if i am writing this correctly but just wanted to see if anyone has some ideas for what i should do at this time/similar stories. about a month ago, my dad told my mum out of the blue (they were having a few issues in the last couple of years but nothing major, they have been married happily for almost 30 years) that he did not want to continue in their marriage. my mum was very upset and so were my siblings and i . i am currently in my final year at uni still living at home and am trying to get through my honours thesis and final placements in a health degree. this affected my work quite a bit although i was mainly able to keep afloat with putting honours on the back bench as placement requirements got higher. at the start of last week, i was starting to feel more stable and able to cope with my workload. throughout this time my parents were going back and forth on whether they were really splitting or not, with mum trying everything to get back on track and dad saying that nothing was working. they sat us down to say that had decided to officially split up at the end of last week. we were al super upset obviously and wondering what the future would look like. that night, my sibling went through his phone and found messages between him and another woman (family friend) - he had been cheating on my mum for a bit over a month. not sure if things got physical but they probably did. we confronted him and asked him to tell mum but he denied anything ever happening so we went back and forth in a really unpleasant way until we actually had to show him what we had found. i am still trying to keep up with university requirements but my honours thesis has definitely not got the time it has needed over the past few weeks. i met with my supervisors recently (who know that i have a 'situation' going on but not the full details) who said that they are very concerned about how my progression is going for my thesis and are thinking that i might not actually be able to finish on time (submission is at the end of this year). i am honestly terrified of delaying anything at uni because i am just done and want to get out of there and move on with my life. i am accessing psych support and have started the process for special considerations etc, but i am not sure much can be done in my situation. sorry for the ultra long post, just was wondering if anyone had advice or has been in a similar situation before

issy4lol2 Physical Altercations
  • replies: 1

I’m having a hard time getting through this by myself and processing it. Tonight I got into a physical altercation with my step dad. My view on it is completely different to my mums and it is not something that I can just bring up to her. A bit of ba... View more

I’m having a hard time getting through this by myself and processing it. Tonight I got into a physical altercation with my step dad. My view on it is completely different to my mums and it is not something that I can just bring up to her. A bit of background story: I have been struggling for years and in the past year I have become quite verbal and physical with family members. It would be things like tripping, throwing objects, kicking in doors and shoving. I have acknowledged that this is a problem and my mum is well aware that i have acknowledged it. in february i got some help and was taking to a youth mental health centre which i had to stay there for two weeks. I learnt strategies that worked and have been doing quite well since then. it is now mid april and i can feel myself becoming quite down again and isolating myself. To continue my story tonight my mum got mad at me over quite a small thing and i was isolating and moody in the study area doing my own thing. she comes in and the first thing she does is complains about a smell and how i’m gonna get so sick with cancer (understandable i do my own nails) and then proceeds to just go on about it. i have a pretty foggy memory from here on but i believe i semi snapped back and told her it’s fine i can’t even smell it she then slams the door and walks off. (my mum knows how to provoke me and my anger so she knows exactly what to do and what not to do and she is definitely not dumb she had also had DBT lessons with me) My step dad then comes in the room saying automatically going off at me and i said if you’re coming in here to lecture me you can get out (which i agree was not on) he then goes off on me and it’s like a switch in his eyes and yells “don’t ask me for s**t ever the f**k again” (once again provoking me) while my mum peeks in the doorway with her camera on pointed at me. getting annoyed and frustrated i get up to shut the door cause i needed to calm down in that moment. keep in mind they were both in the doorway so i first go to shut the door no one is moving they’re just yelling and saying whatever, i then proceed to shove my step dad (as someone who has been physical before that was not a mean shove but more of a come on let’s move typeof shove). in a fit of anger he then goes to shove me back but this is where i’m confused (yes i’m aware i started it) my step dad proceeded to shove me by my face to push me against a wall to the point i trip over things that were on the floor. and im the bad guy cause he’s got claw marks on his arm? im on the ground now with two adults towering over me yelling and screaming and so i kick anywhere to get them away from me and i accidentally kicked my mums bad leg which she is convinced i did on purpose. i than get up to leave the room and go to my room and im forcefully pulled back by my arm from my mum and then pulled by my tank top straps because “she thought i was trying to go at him”. so this is where im at i had to apologise to both of them for putting my hands on them, and they were going to put a case on me. however i haven’t gotten an apology from either of them and i feel quite scared of my step dad now and don’t know what to do or say. in short i just need some opinions/help.

ashleigh91 i feel like my whole world is being stolen from me
  • replies: 2

My mum is really sick she has stage 4 lung cancer. Its been going on for 8 years, the poor thing has been through so much health wise and i have struggled to be there for her due to my own issues. I have got addiction problems and that has really imp... View more

My mum is really sick she has stage 4 lung cancer. Its been going on for 8 years, the poor thing has been through so much health wise and i have struggled to be there for her due to my own issues. I have got addiction problems and that has really impacted my life and others. My daughter whos 12 is in permanent care with my mum who we share responsibilities looking after her. I know i was not the best daughter over the last 10 years but i have had significant other traumas as well. My mum has now told me out of the blue to leave our house cos she is going to move with my daughter to the country and she wants to leave my daughter with my aunt who we are not even close with. She has completely turned on me in everyway so much so that yesterday i went nuts. I mean i help my mum with everything i try to be there to help her but she doesnt want me anywhere near her all of a sudden..Im just struggling with the fact that she has pulled the rug from beneath me and i dont know how im going to cope with no family, i dont even know where im going to be living. Ive got no brothers or sisters, no dad no family. only my kids and my partner who has an upcoming court case in april and might potentially be going to jail. i feel so down.

Guest_35028450 Talk
  • replies: 2

Having issues in my relationship, feel like I need to talk to someone about them

Having issues in my relationship, feel like I need to talk to someone about them

Elf911 Lost in emotions of dealing with a narcissist father of my children
  • replies: 6

I have been feeling lost lately, I have done mediation once already but he didn't do anything that was agreed. Now he plays the victim. I have been more then flexible with all requests to see his children but it is beyond a joke now, 4 children, 2 di... View more

I have been feeling lost lately, I have done mediation once already but he didn't do anything that was agreed. Now he plays the victim. I have been more then flexible with all requests to see his children but it is beyond a joke now, 4 children, 2 diagnosed ASD/ADHD and youngest with anxiety. It is a struggle to explain to them why their father is the way he is. He is also entangled in a 4.8million dollar legal case that they are trying to bunkrupt him for. It so hard to explain any of this to my children. They don't understand he is no good for their well being. It would make my life just that little bit easier if he would disappear. I spent too many years under his control to watch my children be emotional manipulated by his narcissistic ways.

d0wie Difficulty dealing with mother who won't respect my/husband's boundaries
  • replies: 1

My mother's relationship with me has been rocky since I got married 3 years ago, and has been particularly strained over the last 6 months or so. It has significantly worsened as I make my boundaries known, and she would not respect them and keep pus... View more

My mother's relationship with me has been rocky since I got married 3 years ago, and has been particularly strained over the last 6 months or so. It has significantly worsened as I make my boundaries known, and she would not respect them and keep pushing me to do what she wants. For example she has teamed up with my brother to tell me false outing plans to test how I would respond as she thought I was being “difficult” (when actually I was pregnant and so limited in what I could do). She has also rallied in my relatives, and together challenged my husband in public over a decision she wasn’t happy with. This really infuriated my husband. The absolute last straw for him was when my mother called his mother an old person (translated loosely from Cantonese, but in its context was said with a negative connotation) despite my mum being older than her anyway, when she found out she was preparing postpartum soups for me and was likely jealous of this. And on top of all this, she talks behind our backs to my brother, and has said she feels like my husband has “stolen” me away because I stand up for my own boundaries now, unlike when I was younger. I am now at a point where I am unable to move on from the hurt from various incidents. I have tried speaking to her, but this is futile as she constantly says the fault is mine - "You're crazy", "you're over thinking things", "you only think the worst of your mum", "it didn't happen in that way" and I feel like I've been gaslit big time. She has recently said to me ‘blood is thicker than water’ to try and tell me to let go of all the things that happen within our family, but I am sick of being a doormat all my life. She occasionally also guilt trips me by saying “I won’t have long to live”, “I miss the old you” and speak about all the great things she did for me in my younger days. My husband also feels like he has put up with her for long enough. He has always been respectful to her, even though she can be difficult to deal with. But when she's unhappy with something, she lashes out at him/his family, and he's had enough. To protect my mental health, I have distanced myself from her. But is this the only approach to this? Am I in the wrong for standing up for myself and my husband? I still love my mum and I don’t want our relationship to be this way, but at the same time I don’t know what else I can do, if anything.