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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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CB23 Getting it out
  • replies: 1

The overwhelming sadness......We're done and my head know it's for the better but my heart hurts so bad. I randomly find myself crying my face off and the good lord knows I can't sleep much at this point. 13 years is gone so fast and my kids man they... View more

The overwhelming sadness......We're done and my head know it's for the better but my heart hurts so bad. I randomly find myself crying my face off and the good lord knows I can't sleep much at this point. 13 years is gone so fast and my kids man they're sad too. How do you deal with their sadness and your sadness and this overwhelming feeling? How long does that last? I've decided to try to focus on my mental heath and push myself forward but does this go away. He really was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I was so sure.....

Guest_16794091 Covert Narcissistic Disorder Help!
  • replies: 3

Hello xxI'm constantly getting triggered by things my partner says and does. Constantly thinking he's up to something behind my back when he's the most truest person. We've broken up many times due to my insecurities from not wanting him to have fema... View more

Hello xxI'm constantly getting triggered by things my partner says and does. Constantly thinking he's up to something behind my back when he's the most truest person. We've broken up many times due to my insecurities from not wanting him to have female friends, getting jealous even when he speaks to a female client on the phone!My triggers turn into panic out of the blue & it's so hard to stop my head from thinking the worst. I can go days thinking of the same thing no matter how much reassurance I get. How do you cope with this? It's such an intrusive condition 🥴

sunflower2337 Relationship Troubles
  • replies: 2

Hello, I feel like I’m at my all time lowest when I come on here and I just don’t know what to do. Me and my partner resolved our problems but the last month has been a lot. He has always been making it about himself and when ever I do something so m... View more

Hello, I feel like I’m at my all time lowest when I come on here and I just don’t know what to do. Me and my partner resolved our problems but the last month has been a lot. He has always been making it about himself and when ever I do something so minor he blows up. I forget what I said and I try to repeat it or I don’t repeat it word.for. Word I am now a liar and a manipulator. I stutter when I’m talking I have to apologise profusely because god forbid someone stuttering and I’m at my breaking point. We had a huge fight the other night and stayed apart for the night. During the day the following day he was mentioning he was feeling unwell so I try to do something nice and get him some things I know will help him feel better. I also pick up his favourite food on the way home for him to then get into an argument because I accidentally talked over him even though I quickly apologised but it wasn’t good enough. I went to do my sets of apologies he always demand because that’s the only way to resolve things is in a set and I stuttered so I cleared my throat he got even angrier and threw his drink I bought him all over the floor up the walls up the dresser everywhere. I tried to talk to him calmly and address the situation before I stormed out. We both care about each other so much and I can not picture my life without him. I’m just stuck on what to do and where to go. I feel like there isn’t a future but he is literally my best friend. We have everything planned out together and are almost celebrating our 3 year anniversary and even went and looked at engagement rings. We are so close but these hiccups sometimes blow up huge and I just don’t know what to do. Couples counseling isn’t an option. He won’t talk he just likes to ignore and I feel like I have no one to reach out too. I’ve talked to his sister about parts of it but I just don’t want to bother her or drag her into the issues.

Happy-Carol Pushy Mother in law
  • replies: 3

My mother in law messages my husband every day. Once we fell pregnant, she started messaging me too gradually.She created a group chat with me, my husband, father in law and herself. My FIL didn’t like the idea and he asked her to remove him from the... View more

My mother in law messages my husband every day. Once we fell pregnant, she started messaging me too gradually.She created a group chat with me, my husband, father in law and herself. My FIL didn’t like the idea and he asked her to remove him from the group chat. After our child was born, she was messaging me and my husband every single day. She usually messages about what her cats did, when the cats woke up, what my father in law said, or what my brother in law did (my brother in law is 35 years old and he still lives with his parents). If we answer her messages, she will send more messages. Even if we don’t reply to her, she will keep messaging us throughout the day about different things. We both work full time, own an house, first time parents.I’m already overwhelmed with my own responsibilities and I’m not interested in having everyday conversations with her. So, I take my time to reply to her. Sometimes my husband doesn’t reply to her either as he works long hours. She called him, she said to him “can you reply to my messages?” .Now, he tries to reply to her 1-2 times a day. He does it as an obligation not because he wants to. My in laws live 30min drive away. And we have always been seeing them 1-2 times a fortnight even before our child was born. Thats mostly because either she invited herself/my FIL to our house or she invited us to their house. She coordinates these plans with my husband asking “What are you doing this weekend; Do you want us to come over to your place?””Do you want visitors?”Me nor the FIL Or BIL are not involved in initiating or making plans. My husband checks with me before he says yes though. And these visits are usually a whole day thing. They come around 10.30am-11am and leave around 4.30pm-5pm. When our child was born (he is now 1.5 years old), we struggled to cope with the new responsibility. We didn’t have any help. My MIL would invite herself to our house, only to cuddle the baby, didn’t offer us any help us around the house or with the baby, didn’t bring any food for us nor nappies nothing. She knows we would need help but she was waiting for us to ask rather than offering. She would send us passive aggressive messages like “the baby would be fully grown by the time we see him next”.She said “on our next fortnightly visits, I will bring blah blah”. So, she is telling us that she will be visiting us fortnightly, she didn’t ask us, just told us, that’s what annoyed me.

Clover9312 Never being enough for anyone
  • replies: 1

Hi. I’ve posted here quite a bit about my relationship challenges and I’ve always been SO comforted by your support. I don’t really know who else to turn to. My therapist session already passed and everyone seems busy. I’m finding it really hard to s... View more

Hi. I’ve posted here quite a bit about my relationship challenges and I’ve always been SO comforted by your support. I don’t really know who else to turn to. My therapist session already passed and everyone seems busy. I’m finding it really hard to shake off my feelings of disappointment with dating. After a horrible experience in 2023, I made a list of what I truly wanted in a partnership. I really felt that the person I was dating for the last three months had a lot of these qualities. However - I did wonder at certain points if he was hiding some emotional history from me. I opened up about a lot of my anxiety, why I’m in therapy etc. He made vague mentions of past struggles too, but would change the subject and not elaborate or he’d put something on the tv. I got the impression it was not up for discussion in that moment. It seemed obvious to me that there was something though - he just didn’t seem to have the ability to be vulnerable with me. I don’t think he was using me for sex, but he never cuddled me afterwards and never cuddled me while we sat and watched tv. I felt like it was too early days to request that, and now I wish I did. We shared common hobbies and always spoke of them. We spoke everyday. We shared countless laughs and I know he enjoyed my company. We spoke everyday even when I travelled for a few weeks on a trip that I had booked before we met. About a month after my trip, he ended things. He said that based on his previous relationship history and (when he felt “the feels” for those people) he said that he should’ve felt more for me by this time. He had a instinctive gut feeling it wasn’t going to work. He was very complimentary of me and wanted to be open to friendship when the time is right for me. We have mutual friends, so I know he wants to be on good terms. He really was the kindest person I’ve dated and also the funniest. I came to realise that the men I had been with previously were actually quite mean to me. It was refreshing being with someone so friendly and kind to me. I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me or lead me on during these months - but I can’t help but wonder why/how/if he felt nothing for me after all that time. I’m worried he was emotionally unavailable, despite us texting each other everyday and going on consistent dates every week. I just don’t know why he wasted our time for so long if it took him so long to then say he didn’t feel enough. I feel flat now. I know emotional avoidance wasn’t on my checklist. I really wanted to “wait and see” about him and get curious about his life. I planned a chat for a few days ago, but he beat me to it and ended it due to not arriving at “that feeling” yet. Keep in mind he had no idea that I was going to chat to him and see how things were going, so I know he didn’t do this to protect himself. He gave me no indication over the last few weeks that things were going to be over. I actually thought we were getting closer, so I’m a bit shocked. I also feel incredibly rejected. He told me he’s attracted to me (present tense - no past tense) and admired me so much - why couldn’t I be enough romantically? He did mention a girl that hurt him last year - only for the first time I heard about her, when he ended things with me. He still seemed upset about it. Apparently she used him and it hurt him a lot. It makes me really sad that he seemed to have feelings last year for someone who he knew was using him, yet him and I got along so well, he enjoyed the physical aspect of us and spoke to me everyday - yet he couldn’t “feel it”. I feel really inadequate to be perfectly honest. He said he wants to give me space and reach out at some point to see if im interested in being his friend one day. Time will tell if he actually puts those words into action. This is the second time I’ve been told at the three month mark that I’m an incredible person that they still want in their life, but they can’t see a long term relationship happening. The other guy really kept his promise and wanted to be my friend (that didn’t last, as I felt too hurt). I know I’m not perfect, but I do think I’m trying my best to be a good partner. Maybe we just havent found our people. I feel like I’m the “almost, but not quite” girl.

TA1989 Secretive partner
  • replies: 1

Hey guys, I’m in a Rutt at the moment in my 10 yr relationship with 3 kids and a house involved. My partner keeps lying to me about taking care of her part of the bills, it’s not the first time it’s happened and I’m at wits end trying to understand w... View more

Hey guys, I’m in a Rutt at the moment in my 10 yr relationship with 3 kids and a house involved. My partner keeps lying to me about taking care of her part of the bills, it’s not the first time it’s happened and I’m at wits end trying to understand why it keeps happening, she will act as if everything of fine but then ill get notified that we are way behind in one of our bills I’m talking thousands in bill debts that I just thought she was taking care of. I’ve tried all differant approaches in trying to resolve this from a sensitive approach to now being firm, i said i think it’s time i take care of all the bills I will just need you to transfer some money each week to help, she took this as I was trying to controlher money. I said she really needs to setup a payment plan today and she said ok reluctantly, but I just get ignored over text if I ask how she went with it, like I said I’m at wits end and don’t really know which way to go, I couldn’t bare the thought of being away from my kids again as I’ve been through this before with my previous partner.

Guest_76200919 Ex- husband not lodging tax return
  • replies: 1

-My daughter is 10.5yrs old and she is under my care 100%. -My ex-husband has not lodged his tax returns for the past four years and is doing it deliberately-His ex-girlfriend contacted me couple of weeks ago and sent me his payslip for this financia... View more

-My daughter is 10.5yrs old and she is under my care 100%. -My ex-husband has not lodged his tax returns for the past four years and is doing it deliberately-His ex-girlfriend contacted me couple of weeks ago and sent me his payslip for this financial year. He has earned $182000-This situation is directly impacting the child support assessments and payments for my daughter, and due to his failure to lodge tax returns for the last four years, the assessments are not reflecting his actual income, which has resulted in insufficient financial support for our daughter.Does anyone know whether my ex-husband can be penalised from ATO? Seems like ATO does not give a toss for not filing tax return. He has been in this job for past 5 years and been on similar salary.I have sent tip off form to ATOThank you for your assistance.

gwoolste Scared of leaving hospital to go home
  • replies: 2

I am presently in hospital as I became suicidal and depressed. I am also Bipolar and have ADHD. At some point I will leave to go home and scared of how my wife may react when I’m home. I am 71 and retired from a senior executive career about 10 years... View more

I am presently in hospital as I became suicidal and depressed. I am also Bipolar and have ADHD. At some point I will leave to go home and scared of how my wife may react when I’m home. I am 71 and retired from a senior executive career about 10 years ago due to my illness. Since then I have done simple jobs to earn some money. My wife is 59 and has a very good job with a large MNC and earns a good income. We lived in Asia for over 20 years and returned 2 years ago. In Asia my illness was not covered my insurance and I had to draw down on my super substantially to cover my medical costs. we returned to Australia two years ago and I agreed to get work that would go someway to cover our costs related to buying our new home and ongoing mortgage. I did get work but recently that dried up so I had to seek something else. I’ve had multiple rejections and so got more despondent with it all. It got to the stage I became suicidal and very depressed so much so that I was hospitalised and still here.Since coning back to Australia my wife has regularly reminded me to not spend too much money. My wife is very focused on paying of our mortgage in half the time and adding to her super as we would have to eventually live of it. My wife and I have nearly polar opposite personalities. I am more the romantic, a hugger and put my thoughts out in a not so considered manner. Whereas my wife is very much self constrained, considered, highly intelligent and needs to be self controlled. She really doesn’t see/want a physical connection. We have had seperate bedrooms for over 20 years. I would probably characterise our situation as roommates. However she is very caring about me and a great advocate when I am ill, most of the time. So I have a lot of mixed feelings about going home and if continuing our marriage is the right for both of us. I am scared of having any conversation about this with her and the confrontation that would arise. So has anyone else had a storyline this and how have you dealt with it or just some suggests.

Frangipanni63 I am lost
  • replies: 3

.Hi, I am over 60 years old, married for 40 years and most of the time my marriage is just perfect. But there are times where I get less tolerant and snap at my husband and this is ruining our marriage to the point where he loves me but says he can’t... View more

.Hi, I am over 60 years old, married for 40 years and most of the time my marriage is just perfect. But there are times where I get less tolerant and snap at my husband and this is ruining our marriage to the point where he loves me but says he can’t be with me anymore. I am beside myself sick as he is my life. I’m not sure how. I can help me to be a better person but I don’t want him to be away from me as we have never been apart in this way. HELP