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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_72201448 How to confront parents?
  • replies: 1

Long story short yesterday my dad assumed i wasn't studying because i was sketching in my sketchbook (for about a few mins) which made me so mad i put all my art (2021-2026) in a bag and left it on the couch. I was going to throw it all away but I de... View more

Long story short yesterday my dad assumed i wasn't studying because i was sketching in my sketchbook (for about a few mins) which made me so mad i put all my art (2021-2026) in a bag and left it on the couch. I was going to throw it all away but I decided to ask my friend if she could take it. She declined so around 11:35pm I typed welp to the bin it goes, before immediately being sent off to bed by my dad. Today in the morning i was preapring to leave for school when I saw all of my art was not there. I was also confused as to why I never got a text from my friend. When I checked it turns out her messages were already checked.So I did some digging. My friend sent 3 messages after 11:35pm (i would of been in bed by then), and these messages were LONG. They were checked at around 11:55pm. My parents know my passcode as it is my birthday (they made up the passcode for me) and they took my phone because that helped me focused on studying. So any one of them can log in via passcode and check. My friend also stays up very late like at 2am. So she checked and saw me online at 1am by then I would of been asleep. This also matches up when my parents would head off to bed as they take my phone and charge it in their home before going to sleep.As for what happened to my art I asked my mum before leaving to school. She said, "Dad took it all to show his friends". Big lie, none of his friends live close to us they live an hour away. he also had work that day and work at about 20mins from home. His workplace also has cleaners who will take anything that was left behind. Dad once had his umbrella stolen by them. And why bring 6 canvas, about 5 sketchbooks, and loose paper to show friends?My friend also said she estimates that I was maybe online at 1am to 1:20am before she fell asleep so they definitely read my messages with my friends. Which gives them a motive, for the past 2 days I have felt very sad and unwell with how they treat me and I text this all to my closest friends. Dad has a bit of a temper he can be angry if something isnt what he believes. I think his motive was after reading my texts about him and my mum he could of gotten mad and threw em out or at least take them away. Mum however, isn't really the person to throw out my art, she cherishes it but is also know for taking my stuff and moving it around constantly (Ive lost so many things cause she kept moving them).I want to confront them but idk how to either in person or text. So what are your thoughts?

luke_c Overbearing father
  • replies: 3

Hi I moved back in with my parents house 2 months ago as a result of workplace injuries and starting a new career thru study. I'm just waiting on lump sum payments which should be a fair amount, I was diagnosed with a fatty liver 6 weeks ago and afte... View more

Hi I moved back in with my parents house 2 months ago as a result of workplace injuries and starting a new career thru study. I'm just waiting on lump sum payments which should be a fair amount, I was diagnosed with a fatty liver 6 weeks ago and after seeing specialists I have changed my diet to reflect that. Trouble is I have an overbearing father who is constantly worrying about every single thing I eat and always on my case constantly like I'm a 15 year old child, even though I'm 41, I've tried to set boundaries to him the last 2 weeks by telling him to please leave me alone and saying that his nagging is always constant and persistent, it is becoming detrimental to my well being, he is really set in his ways that it's his way or the highway, it's getting really annoying now and he broke me today, it's gotten to the point where I don't really want to speak to him at least until he changes his approach and attitude. He seems to be the instigator of conflict in the household. If this keeps persisting I'm left with no choice but to move out of home once I've received my lump sum payments, I've started studying my auto electrical trade cert thru rpl at tafe and I was thinking if it was worth moving closer to Brisbane where the tafe is located once I receive my compensation payments. I remember when living interstate at one stage I blocked my father's number for 4 days cos I found his behaviour was borderline harassment,I still love my dad of course but living with him 24/7 is really testing me big time

Guest_23252614 Can this be fixed?
  • replies: 3

I found some online orders my husband had bought after something had been delivered and I had accidentally opened them. It was "sex coins". I then found evidence of some pills and some cologne to make him more attractive to women. I had a discussion ... View more

I found some online orders my husband had bought after something had been delivered and I had accidentally opened them. It was "sex coins". I then found evidence of some pills and some cologne to make him more attractive to women. I had a discussion with him over these items and he said it was silly. I asked him if he had already found or was actively looking for someone else and he said no. We got over this over the next day or so and it was our anniversary that was difficult as were hardly speaking. I found a website where he had been looking for women in the local area to "hook up" with for casual sex. That night when I went to bed, I woke him and asked him what that was about but he just went back to sleep. When he woke, I asked him again and he said it was stupid and he never intended to do anything about it. He works away so it's hard to continue these discussions when he's not at home but my trust has been shattered. We hadn't been intimate regularly and I told him I had body issues as I've gained weight and I don't know whether this has driven him to do this but he's always been a regular watcher of porn and has some awfully explicit things on his phone. I asked him to delete the site from his phone where the "hook ups" were but I've now found another dating site that he was on that I didn't know about and this is still active. I don't know if I can get over this as it's devasting to find out the things he been looking at and for. He's gone back to site and I don't know if I can trust him being on site either.

CamdenChucks New dad at breaking point
  • replies: 7

Hi there. I have a relatively new son who is 11 months old who I love very much. Over the last couple of months however my relationship with my wife hasn't been the best. We both work around 30 hours a week trying to juggle looking after our son and ... View more

Hi there. I have a relatively new son who is 11 months old who I love very much. Over the last couple of months however my relationship with my wife hasn't been the best. We both work around 30 hours a week trying to juggle looking after our son and work however I keep getting this built up frustration and sadness as i feel the large majority of the house work is left to me to do and on the weekends my wife leaves him with me while she does other things. I love my son so much but I do need my time by myself. Whenever I do bring this up to her it ends in a fight and i feel like im the bad person. I have suffered with depression on and off since being a teenager so I get quite upset and down with it all. Any pointers would be great. Cheers!

blues23 Blocking my father & changing my number
  • replies: 4

Lately I’ve had a lot of family dramas fights ; disagreements: disrespect & now a form of betrayal my father had given my mother my number I have spoken to him before about not sharing stuff with my mother he has shared it to her without my consent o... View more

Lately I’ve had a lot of family dramas fights ; disagreements: disrespect & now a form of betrayal my father had given my mother my number I have spoken to him before about not sharing stuff with my mother he has shared it to her without my consent or knowledge my uncle called and I was surprised because I didn’t know he had my number so I ask my dad and he’s like yeah I gave it to ur mother ur uncle asked for it and I’m like did u not think to ask me or even tell : why should I have to ask u was my dads response And we went thru a whole argument of him denying anything my mother ever did anything to me growing up basically trying gaslighting me into believing that nothing ever happened and I’ve since blocked him changed my phone number because I just don’t trust him anymore to not share it again behind my back . I feel a bit sad as I’ve now lost my dad ,my relationship with my sister is strained due to a different issue we had and it’s like I’m pretty much left to my own self it’s quite lonely but how much longer can I go on trusting my father who has yet again broken another boundary in regards to sharing my details without my consent. I just wonder if I’m being over dramatic or over sensitive or something by feeling bad for basically removing my dad ive also in the past my dad has disowned me / threatened to cut me off out of his will / told me i wasn’t his child and all because I wouldn’t go see my mother to stop her nagging at him

Legoman Cheating on my wife with men
  • replies: 3

Why do i keep cheating on my wife with random men? I did it to my first wife and have done it again with my second wife. She has discovered it twice before and we resolved it as best as possible but I went out and did it again. We uses to have a heal... View more

Why do i keep cheating on my wife with random men? I did it to my first wife and have done it again with my second wife. She has discovered it twice before and we resolved it as best as possible but I went out and did it again. We uses to have a healthy sex life but I still cheated on her with random guys. There is no emotional attachment with the men though. At first we thought it was due to sexual abuse at a child or maybe because of a screwed up childhood. But I keep doing it. My wife is amazing and I couldn't ask for a better wife. This has led me to see only one way out. We have locked the medications away so I dont have access to them but there are still other options. At the moment the only thing stopping me from following though with it is her. If she leaves me then I have no reason to live. I only have one child left of my own as my daughter took her own life 9 years ago. My son hasn't spoken to me in 12 years. If I loose my wife then its all over for me. Why would a sane person keep doing this to themselves and the person they love unless im just a low life scum

Shorty Need Help to get through
  • replies: 9

I need someone to talk too, im hurting so much in my heart. Any help and advice would be appreciated, I literally have absolutely no one

I need someone to talk too, im hurting so much in my heart. Any help and advice would be appreciated, I literally have absolutely no one

Guest_98660003 I need opinions please
  • replies: 2

I'm in a toxic and abusive house i live with my father and his wife and I've been given a chance to move in with a friend but her mum is thinking if it is a good idea or not (which is fine what she says goes) the wife is the toxic and abusive one my ... View more

I'm in a toxic and abusive house i live with my father and his wife and I've been given a chance to move in with a friend but her mum is thinking if it is a good idea or not (which is fine what she says goes) the wife is the toxic and abusive one my father tries to help but cant because she threatens to file a divorce and he loves her but I'm his daughter not hers so she likes to humiliate me and make me wear boy clothing and nothing else ( i identify as a girl pronouns she/her she knows this) she also makes me wear my hair in a ponytail plat very very tightly to the point I'm losing hair because of it she likes to talk down of my mum to me as well and i now have anxiety and depression and often have suicide thoughts.I'm very scared all the time even at school.I'm not aloud any type of device at all no tv no phone no radio to listen to music NOTHINGi only am aloud to go outside when I'm doing chores or going to school/coming back or seeing my mum for the weekend.Idk what to do if my friends mum says yes I'm scared and need a opinion please.

Firsttimedad Growing resentment towards step-kids and ex's
  • replies: 9

I am seeking some input from others who have navigated similar situations and have found limited information from the perspective of other men on this topic. I started my relationship with my partner knowing she had two children from previous relatio... View more

I am seeking some input from others who have navigated similar situations and have found limited information from the perspective of other men on this topic. I started my relationship with my partner knowing she had two children from previous relationships (teenager and a toddler). At the time it didn't seem to be an issue to me; I was head over heals in love with my partner and whilst it was an adjustment for me having kids around when we were in a new relationship we made it work and still had time to ourselves. Our relationship progressed quickly and my partner and I also had a baby (my first) early in our relationship. I couldn't be happier to be a father; I love the new role and have changed my life to make sure I am home as much as I can be with our baby. In the lead up to having our baby and certainly since though I have a growing resentment towards my step-kids and the ongoing relationships my partner has to manage with her ex's for the benefit of the kids. I am uncomfortable when the kids from her past relationships interact with our baby, dread when those kids our returning home and often feel like I miss out on experiences with my partner and our baby due to the impact mainly of the toddler she has from a past relationship. Things feel perfect when the other kids are not around but that all changes when they come home and the return of those kids also means interactions with the ex's which is something I dread having as part of my life. I understand that these issues just come with the territory of being with someone who has children from previous relationships but I am increasingly concerned about whether I can cope with this being my life because the resentment is clearly not healthy or sustainable. I haven't spoken too openly with my partner about the growing feelings towards her kids but have over-talked about the issues with the ex's particularly the father of the toddler because due to the age of the child there is a lot of contact. I feel stuck now in a constant battle of weighing up how good things are in the relationship and being a new father against the anxiety/resentment/frustration I feel about having other kids from past relationships interrupt that and the involvement of my partner's ex's in our life. I understand these are my issues, there is nothing my partner can do about them, but I am increasingly focused on these aspects of my life to the point it stops me enjoying the good parts of my life...

AMW Isolated and alone, marital issues, etc
  • replies: 18

Hi, I'm a mother of 3 and have been married for 19 years. 3 years ago I found out that my partner is cheating on me, with an ex-girl friend. He has been cheating on me on and off with this person for about 22 years. Yes, he has been cheating on me pr... View more

Hi, I'm a mother of 3 and have been married for 19 years. 3 years ago I found out that my partner is cheating on me, with an ex-girl friend. He has been cheating on me on and off with this person for about 22 years. Yes, he has been cheating on me prior to getting married too! Since I found out, I have been completely distraught, felt like my whole world has ended. He is apologetic, and wants to work it out with me. But I do not trust him. He lied and cheated for 22 years. Everything I know about his affair to date are things I have found out through other people. He has never disclosed anything 'new'. I feel so isolated and alone. My kids do not know anything about it. When I am with them I pretend everything is normal. But I am dead inside.

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