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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Sarah_99 Relationship break up
  • replies: 5

Hi, I’m not sure where to start as I have been going through so much issues with my husband. I recently found out he cheated and using substances. He has struggled with gambling addiction for some time now. He decided to move out after he admitted of... View more

Hi, I’m not sure where to start as I have been going through so much issues with my husband. I recently found out he cheated and using substances. He has struggled with gambling addiction for some time now. He decided to move out after he admitted of what he has done. I don’t think he is telling me the whole truth. I think he wanted something more from this woman. (They met at work by the way)I think he had behaved badly or something else has happened because she cut him off. I know he was still trying to reach out to her. I’m not really sure if there is anything going on now, I still have doubts though. Our children who live elsewhere at the moment. I’m trying to be positive and think we can work it out. He has said he’s not happy and hasn’t been for a long time. He never communicated this to me. We have been together for 24 years. I’m feeling lost without him, I feel unwanted, insecure about my appearance. He keeps saying he needs time to process his thoughts and feelings. We have been through so much in our life together. We lost our son he was only 6 when he passed, our life will never be the same without him. We have had so much loss in our family over the years. I’m worried about his metal heath, he knows he needs help but he is deconstruction mode. He wants to shut off from everything and his responsibilities. I never thought he would turn out this way. I’m just lost and confused about how we got to this point. I’m trying to focus on me but I find it hard as u feel alone.

fred4761 Support groups/services for MALE victim of Narcissistic abuse
  • replies: 3

Hi, one of my closest friends is the victim of what I believe to be Narcissistic abuse inflicted by his wife. They are now separated and she is making life very difficult for him. I have tried looking online for support groups or support services for... View more

Hi, one of my closest friends is the victim of what I believe to be Narcissistic abuse inflicted by his wife. They are now separated and she is making life very difficult for him. I have tried looking online for support groups or support services for male victims of emotional/psychological domestic abuse but haven't had much luck. He had become very isolated from his family, her family and his friends and colleagues as she gradually, over the years, limited the amount of people who he was allowed to be in contact with. She stopped him from attending any outside clubs and groups as well and his social circle consisted of his wife and kids - no contact with any friends or family members. For years he had been in denial claiming that men cannot be victims of domestic abuse, however after he tells his story to lawyers, counsellors and other professionals they all conclude that is the case. I would like to help him find other people who have been in his shoes and can relate to his experiences. She was investigated a few years ago by Child Protection Services for emotional and psychological abuse and neglect of their daughter. The investigation ended when they relinquished custody of their daughter. I am hoping that this will help to demonstrate her pattern of emotional abuse. They still have two other children and his wife is doing everything to limit access to them. He does not have enough money for the legal fees required to fight for custody, and is not eligible for legal aid so his lawyer advised him to use a mediator at Relationships Australia instead. He is concerned about seeing her for mediation as she has a way of making him feel very small and has him feeling that he is still mostly to blame for everything that has gone wrong in her life. She has a knack of twisting reality to make it seem as though she is the victim. Everytime she sees him she berates and belittles him and talks down to him and he just takes it all. It is really hard to watch and I don't know how else to support him.

DefiantPanda Sick of Myself
  • replies: 1

I am always reacting strongly to things, always burning through friends. I can't seem to change.Been in therapy many years... Sick of trying so hard and getting nowhere.Tired. Long term friend has ditched me. Blocked me. Doesn't want anything to do w... View more

I am always reacting strongly to things, always burning through friends. I can't seem to change.Been in therapy many years... Sick of trying so hard and getting nowhere.Tired. Long term friend has ditched me. Blocked me. Doesn't want anything to do with me.Keep getting upset at other friends over what most would consider nothing.I know in my heart I have a right to stand up for myself sometimes, it's just hard to do it in a way that's considered "normal." I feel things so intensely.I'm so tired of trying. Medication, therapy, meditation. What is left?I just want to live my life, have a job where I don't get upset at my coworkers and have to leave or get fired, have a romantic relationship, have friends. Be able to play sports and enjoy hobbies with others.Painful to want these things so badly but always to have them out of reach, or blow up in my face.Try to join social circles but have people avoid me because they're scared of me or feel they have to walk on eggshells around me.Just wanting to vent and wonder if anyone else is in my position.Just get so tired and frustrated.

Von is lost Ready for next step but bf doesn’t seem to be
  • replies: 1

Hi all, thanks for listening to my thoughts again.My boyfriend and I are living in different towns due to jobs, which is exciting for us bettering ourselves but I feel like this is affecting our relationships ability to grow. I feel ready for somethi... View more

Hi all, thanks for listening to my thoughts again.My boyfriend and I are living in different towns due to jobs, which is exciting for us bettering ourselves but I feel like this is affecting our relationships ability to grow. I feel ready for something more e.g., moving in together but I’m not too sure where his head is at. I try to drop hints and to bring up the conversation but he’s never fully clear on an answer. We’ve had talks of moving in together before, but since our job situations are a bit tricky he seems to have backtracked on the idea. Obviously we can’t move in together until we are working near each other but for future thinking he doesn’t seem to be giving me much. Or even for plans together like travelling etc he has a hard time committing or something? Or it has to be his idea for it to be followed through.

Janey_beyond Crushes
  • replies: 1

I notice when I ‘like’ someone I get quite obsessive about them and was wondering if there are people who feel the same way? I know it’s likely due to abandonment issues and insecurities, but the rumination sometimes feel out of control. I get super ... View more

I notice when I ‘like’ someone I get quite obsessive about them and was wondering if there are people who feel the same way? I know it’s likely due to abandonment issues and insecurities, but the rumination sometimes feel out of control. I get super excited thinking about this person and what life we would have together but extremely insecure if I got rejected. I know in reality, these ‘relationships’ could never work, but I’ve had crushes where I’ve seen them with other people and wanted to become that person so bad. I develop these feelings extremely quickly, turning into this fantasy where I am constantly thinking about them. Does anyone relate or have any advice?

Kim8375 Loneliness and lack of close connections
  • replies: 1

Hello. I'm at a stage in my life where I'm very lonely and don't have any close connections or relationships. I have a few more surface-level friends and acquaintances, some of whom I know value and care about me, but no one who I can really turn to ... View more

Hello. I'm at a stage in my life where I'm very lonely and don't have any close connections or relationships. I have a few more surface-level friends and acquaintances, some of whom I know value and care about me, but no one who I can really turn to for help or support when I'm feeling lonely or anxious - and they wouldn't know this about me. I often struggle to maintain close relationships and friendships and have lost a few throughout my life, including one good friendship just recently which I cared so much about. I pushed them away because I was too intense and communicated too much, and overstepped a friendship boundary. I didn't see this at the time and now also feel horrible guilt about it and am blaming myself for losing the one good friend I had. (I'm also not sure if they're lost for good or not, or if I'm overthinking or catastrophising the situation.) I think I am autistic and can struggle to read signs and signals in relationships, and can either communicate to much or not enough - I can never seem to get the balance right. I feel that once friends really discover the real me and what I'm like - although they seem to really like me at first - they don't stay around.Just makes me sad that I'm like this and seem to sabotage all my own relationships. I know I shouldn't blame myself and should accept myself for who I am (I do know I am a kind and thoughtful person and friend) and not feel I have to apologise for or change my authentic self, but it's hard.

Guest_93580817 Feeling abandoned
  • replies: 1

Hi,I’ve never posted here before but I’m feeling really alone and I don’t have anyone to reach out to. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for my whole adult life but the last 12 months have been particularly bad with thoughts of suicide. My ... View more

Hi,I’ve never posted here before but I’m feeling really alone and I don’t have anyone to reach out to. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for my whole adult life but the last 12 months have been particularly bad with thoughts of suicide. My best friend has been very supportive but yesterday told me that it’s all too much for her. She wants to put some boundaries to protect her own mental health and her family. The logical side of me understands it but it’s triggered my abandonment issues. I’m devastated, I think she will actually walk away from our friendship. It hurts because she’s such a big part of my life and has always been the one I leant on and vice versa. I feel like I’ve done something wrong and disappointed her. I’m embarrassed and ashamed and I don’t know how to move forward.Has anyone had similar experiences with friends or familyThanks so much

JustineW Burnt Out Need Advice
  • replies: 7

Hi Alli know I posted in 2022 on relationship advice but now it’s different issue. im a single mom. Daughter now 14.5.2 1/2 months ago started awful insomnia waking with racing heart, anxiety and this lead to being exhausted now, depressed and all ov... View more

Hi Alli know I posted in 2022 on relationship advice but now it’s different issue. im a single mom. Daughter now 14.5.2 1/2 months ago started awful insomnia waking with racing heart, anxiety and this lead to being exhausted now, depressed and all over the place. Put on an antidepressant and sleeping pill but still not sleeping properly. Anxiety and depression worsened. Struggling to work and function. Everyone withdrawing from me. Had hormones checked and thyroid and other bloods and all fine. I’m 45 now. Maybe it is hormones but it’s absolutely wrecking my life. I can’t find joy in anything and people are getting angry with me.My daughter struggles with anxiety and it’s affected her schooling. She wants to move back to where we used to live 3 years ago although there’s no guarantee that will make her happier.im so exhausted I’m at wits end. On a tight budget and can’t afford a holiday. All I can do is age care as I’ve been out of office work over ten years. I’d need to do courses but I don’t get that opportunity when I’m fulltime mum. I’ve been offered a break for a month at friends at coast which is so far from where I am. I’m North Queensland and they’re sunny coast. I’d have to pack in my job and sell up in order to take that break. I’m not happy where I live anymore because I’m just in a bad headspace. My son is at sunny coast with his partner. It’s expensive there.My ex husband who is in another part of qld wants my daughter to come live with him and his partner. My daughter says no. I am just feeling so torn. I need a break. I don’t know how to cope or get her through high school which she’s already missed too much of. Her dad can raise her more successfully is how I’m feeling now. It would be hard parting with her and then I’d only see her some school holidays when I can afford the travel. I really don’t know if I should send her to her dad and then try sort myself out. If this whatever it is I’m dealing with continues, I’m no good to anyone. I’m scared.

JayCee28 Trauma and anxiety marriage/ kids/ court
  • replies: 3

I had a child impact report today, I feel like I failed it, I was so upset about what my ex was saying about me that I forgot things ( when asked) what he did to control and manipulate me.. I went into trauma mode I’m so upset with myself, forgetting... View more

I had a child impact report today, I feel like I failed it, I was so upset about what my ex was saying about me that I forgot things ( when asked) what he did to control and manipulate me.. I went into trauma mode I’m so upset with myself, forgetting things that would defend me in the way I was treated for over a decade.Now everything is just playing over in my head, all the things he has done, and is still doing . I wont get another chance to let them hear my side, I’m just disappointed in the way it went.Aside from having SPR and dealing with child’s side of everything, I have put off my need for help throughout this all, I do need help.It’s such a big job being mum and dad when child doesn’t want contact with dad.I’m so busy rushing around to and from appointments for child and home life I barely have time for me . Im just disappointed with myself and anxious that ( I cried ) and didn’t get my point across, what I needed to say.Over a decade condensed in to an hr for the report I couldn’t do it, it was too much, hearing what he was saying about me and the trauma I’m left with.For me it’s a sad day

Guest_61430725 Struggling with Partner’s Gambling Addiction and Dishonesty
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and hurt right now. My partner has a gambling addiction that has left him in a significant amount of debt. Despite this, he works most of the time and has recently sold his car, so I know h... View more

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and hurt right now. My partner has a gambling addiction that has left him in a significant amount of debt. Despite this, he works most of the time and has recently sold his car, so I know he has the funds to budget properly.We had planned to go to Scotland (my home country) with my family at the end of the year, and he initially said he would try to budget for it. However, he recently told me he probably won’t come. I even offered to help pay for his flights, but what hurts the most is the false hope he gave me.I also know that he has been gambling online most days since we made the plan, and he has lied to me about it. He’s been getting help, which is good, but the continued gambling and dishonesty are breaking my heart. I feel stuck because I want our relationship to work with my whole heart, but his actions and words aren’t aligning. I’m scared to confront him because I don’t want to make things worse or cause him to hide it more in the future.I feel so hurt and disappointed, and I don’t know how to deal with these emotions. I want to create a safe space for honesty and support his recovery, but I can’t handle the lies and broken promises.Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you handle it? Any advice on how to approach this conversation or cope with these feelings would be greatly appreciated.Thank you for listening.