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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Guest_65763526 My bf broke up w me bc of his anxiety
  • replies: 1

My bf broke up with me last night. I’m distraught, I thought I supported him and did the best i could. The thing about him is he has a bad past with anxiety and is an extreme overthinker, he has seen several psychologists about it and has anger issue... View more

My bf broke up with me last night. I’m distraught, I thought I supported him and did the best i could. The thing about him is he has a bad past with anxiety and is an extreme overthinker, he has seen several psychologists about it and has anger issues. Because he is an overthinker in the relationship he used to overthink a lot of things. He kept saying “u deserve someone better” “someone who gives me more time” “he doesn’t want me to deal with his anxiety” I told him and reassured him I do deserve him and he gives me plenty of time and I’m there to support him. He kept saying he doesn’t deserve me, and how I deserve someone better. Not my best moment but I was begging for him back, why did he break up with me what did I do wrong???

2xmumma A real messy situation - advice please
  • replies: 1

I am I need of advice. It's a long one. I dont even know if anyone can help with insane mess I'm in right now. Backstory - I started dating my husband 17 yrs ago. We married 10 years ago. When we met he had a drug problem but got help and overcame it... View more

I am I need of advice. It's a long one. I dont even know if anyone can help with insane mess I'm in right now. Backstory - I started dating my husband 17 yrs ago. We married 10 years ago. When we met he had a drug problem but got help and overcame it. After we had our 1st child in 2015 he started acting strange and saw a psychologist who diagnosed him with post-partem depression. I was not aware men could but they can and it's due to the change in a relationship after a baby. He started using drugs again and we seperated. During that time he committed high value theft crimes with some "mates". He was arrested in 2018 and released on bail 3 mths later, I supported him and we gave it another go. He was fantastic throughout his court proceedings saw a psych but ultimately received a sentence of 5yrs with parole after 2.5yrs in 2020. He was devastated as was I and I made the choice to support him having been back on track for so long prior. He got parole in July 2022 and we had a son in May 2023. From then he was fantastic as it was prior to the relapse in 2018. Early April 2024 his mother passed away, he was with her when she passed and had agreed 2 days prior to place her in palliative and felt guilty for her passing. He went to counselling to try to help, family issues with her will prevented her from being buried right after the funeral (new rules the private cemetery she had a prepaid plot with) My Pa passed suddenly early May who he was very close to. The following week was Mothers Day and it hit him that day that he had nowhere to lay flowers or visit his mum and he used ice again which triggered the last relapse. He went downhill quickly and nothing I did seemed to help. He ultimately found himself passed out in a parking garage panicking on how to get out and had the police called on him. As he had drugs in his system that was an instant breach of parole and the 2 years he has been out has been erased and he is back in until June 2026. This happened 2 weeks ago. I was still struggling with the fact I'm a single mum to 2 kids suddenly then 3 days ago, I found out he had sex 3 weeks ago with someone who has been his friend for a long time and in her own relationship. She came to visit me the night he was arrested to support me which has messed with my head even more now knowing this.

Ashmar Blame game
  • replies: 3

Hi, I can’t seem to find a solution to this problem of blaming in my relationship. Everything that goes wrong is ALWAYS my fault. I am the type who will try and find a solution or a reason why, so when I do this…I get blamed for excuses or not owning... View more

Hi, I can’t seem to find a solution to this problem of blaming in my relationship. Everything that goes wrong is ALWAYS my fault. I am the type who will try and find a solution or a reason why, so when I do this…I get blamed for excuses or not owning up as well! Nothing is ever his fault, even when it was initiated by him. Let’s take a hypothetical example… He introduced heroin and I partook. I got addicted, so now everything is my fault: the police raid, the screenshots on my phone that incriminated him, his loss of work, his hefty court costs and fines, but never ever the fact that he gave me and showed me how to use a syringe for the heroin in the first place. (No I have never done heroin in my life) am a late discovery ADHD, PTSD and MAJOR Depression Disorder person. I suspected something wasn’t right after my adult child was diagnosed as well. I also suspect that my blame-shifting partner is a narcissist. He lacks any type of empathy or emotion except when he was love-bombing at first early on.How do I attempt at fixing this???

Guest_82741891 Marriage meltdown after 25 years and so many hurdles, how to cope!?!
  • replies: 1

I’ve been married for 25 years so there’s no way to condense all that into a brief bio.I’m currently seeing a psychologist and a peer worker at a government Mental Health Hub as well as a drug/alcohol counsellor at another community centre.These sess... View more

I’ve been married for 25 years so there’s no way to condense all that into a brief bio.I’m currently seeing a psychologist and a peer worker at a government Mental Health Hub as well as a drug/alcohol counsellor at another community centre.These sessions are generally once a week which sounds like a lot of support, but I still feel like I’m lacking something and am grasping at straws hoping for a quick fix which I know isn’t possible. I’m posting this in the hope that I will find someone in a similar situation that I can chat to.My marriage has been fraught with many issues including an emigration I wasn’t happy with and numerous moves since then. In the process I became very dependant on alcohol. Yes, a very unhealthy stress relief option but so be it.We have now built a new house in the country and a week after moving in I got a letter from my husband’s lawyer placing our separation date on record since you need 12 months of separation before you can get divorced in Australia.I’ve been like an ostrich since then, in complete denial even 2 months after the fact.I have never ever, in all this time suspected that he would have an affair but the sudden determination and urgency at ending our marriage got me rethinking that. Since yesterday I have 2 very compelling reasons to believe that there is in fact a third person in this marriage.He denied it, of course and in a weak moment said “we are legally separated, I can do whatever I want” which was pretty telling.I am so very alone, I have no idea where to go from here! I know acceptance is the next logical step but I can’t find a way to get there.Our kids are mostly grown up and will mostly be fine without us. Yes, there’s a bit of “empty nest syndrome” there but there’s also a feeling that no-one needs me and they’d all be better off if I just wasn’t here anymore. Sure, they’d be sad for a while, especially my mum, but ultimately that’s the best situation I can picture right now.I have called Lifeline once before and they were more helpful than I expected them to be. What’s ultimately keeping me from doing anything stupid though isThe thought that someone I love will have to find me after the fact and deal with all of thatThe extreme pain it would cause my mum and, to a lesser extent other family membersThe pressure of having to write letters to my kids and other family members explaining why I did what I did and attempt to absolve them of any guilt

Guest_76191066 Lost myself loving someone who cant live without me
  • replies: 2

title. 24/mgoing to be a bit long winded need to get all of this outpeople seem to come to me when they have problems, depression especially. ive helped close friends come out of their "holes" unhealthy, over weight, isolating themselves. I felt like... View more

title. 24/mgoing to be a bit long winded need to get all of this outpeople seem to come to me when they have problems, depression especially. ive helped close friends come out of their "holes" unhealthy, over weight, isolating themselves. I felt like i had the key to happiness, like it was simple. small steps every day to feel better. listen to the birds, appreciate the suns warmth.I met a girl. its been 2 years and we live together. she has diagnosed issues and I try and have tried everything i know how to help her. it feels like nothing i do is enough help her be happy. I love her. but i dont think i can be with her. its seeping into me and im losing myself my friends my hobbies my love for life. and she says she cant live without me. I cant get over how i would be making a choice to leave a choice to be selfish and give up. it would destroy her. ive tried to get her back to therapy and ive tried every trick to get her up and out the house to hear the birds and feel the sun. she needs help and i thought it could be me to save her. i try to be who she needs, working for our future but i get the same resistance to positivity. im failing what i thought was my lifes purpose. to help someone. im lost

Guest_78532480 Lying
  • replies: 2

I’ve had problems with addiction since I was probably 16, I got clean off of a certain anxiety medication about a year ago and I’m super proud of myself, but that’s not where the addiction stops, I have problems with vaping, I’ve tried to stop and I ... View more

I’ve had problems with addiction since I was probably 16, I got clean off of a certain anxiety medication about a year ago and I’m super proud of myself, but that’s not where the addiction stops, I have problems with vaping, I’ve tried to stop and I just can’t I’ve tired Nicolette chewies, I’ve tried cold turkey. it’s now effecting my relationship with my girlfriend because I’m lying about it, idk why I keep lying but I do, she’s caught me with vapes on multiple occasions where I’ve said I don’t have one, idk what to do to help save my relationship and to help me quit them, it’s effecting my mental health as well as hers

Guest_67869874 Life after abortion
  • replies: 2

Hi, I had an abortion 6 months ago. I found out I was pregnant late one night and was quite happy. I told my partner but he wasn’t as keen and said he wasn’t ready. We discussed our options but ultimately settled for an abortion (I suffer from anxiet... View more

Hi, I had an abortion 6 months ago. I found out I was pregnant late one night and was quite happy. I told my partner but he wasn’t as keen and said he wasn’t ready. We discussed our options but ultimately settled for an abortion (I suffer from anxiety and have c/hood trauma). The next two weeks were the worst of my life. I agreed to an abortion but I didn’t want it. I spent days crying and throwing up until I ended up in hospital from dehydration (3 times) I felt so helpless in the hospital. Due to my anxiety I couldn’t stop vomiting after the abortion either. I ended up back at the hospital after the abortion and felt so ashamed and embarrassed, like the whole world was looking down on me. I tried to go back to work but I couldn’t keep it together, every pregnant woman every child, I cry. I lost my job. Tried to exercise exclusively to distract myself and wore myself out. I stopped exercising about two months ago and now I feel lost, I’ve gained weight which only makes me feel worse. I last about a week between hysterical breakdowns about the abortion (I didn’t want to have an abortion, it’s destroyed me emotionally) I don’t have any friends so all I do is think about it. I want to be able to get past this but I feel like I’m frozen in time. The worlds so fast paced I feel like I’m drowning.

naralle I'm struggling
  • replies: 2

I'm not coping at all with my husband drinking and he needs help. He knows he's an alcoholic but won't get help.

I'm not coping at all with my husband drinking and he needs help. He knows he's an alcoholic but won't get help.

Yearnineteen Dick brother
  • replies: 4

Hey, Im not super close with my brother so while my parents were on holiday i thought id invite them over. I said come over what ever day at whatever time (despite my very busy uni schedule) he could chose lunch. My boyfriend stayed up all night maki... View more

Hey, Im not super close with my brother so while my parents were on holiday i thought id invite them over. I said come over what ever day at whatever time (despite my very busy uni schedule) he could chose lunch. My boyfriend stayed up all night making a brisket to impress him and spent over $200, only for him and his family on the day to say there coming late because his son needs a nap… i asked if he could nap here and he says there not coming because hes got his own family now, its too painful to see me and he doesn’t need me. A I was obviously really upset. Hes now coming over tonight and i dont want too see him unless he apologizes but my parents screamed at me and said i have to and he wont apologize. My mum started crying (playing the victim as usal) and said she will never do anything for me again, then my dad claims im threatening her? And says hes going to slap the shit out of me so i slap him first and he says hes going to call the police 💀 Anyways what the hell do i do, i dont have anywhere to stay and cant afford to move out.

Guest_44363348 Ex husband keeps texting me
  • replies: 1

Help! I was married to my ex husband for 15 years and being separated for 9 years in November.. due to a toxic relationship.. we are not divorced but separated The last 9 months he has being suffering from pstd and keeps saying he wants to harm himse... View more

Help! I was married to my ex husband for 15 years and being separated for 9 years in November.. due to a toxic relationship.. we are not divorced but separated The last 9 months he has being suffering from pstd and keeps saying he wants to harm himself.. he just doesn't text me he texts our adult daughters too, and sends my eldest daughter into meltdowns (she has Asperger's) I am feeling stressed out about the whole situation, and have raised my concerns to my GP about my ex, he advised me to call the police or ambulance for a welfare check.. This has happened when I was living with him as well, he goes into mind games and stirs up alot of things .. I feel like he is trying to blame me for the way he is feeling.. Help please ..