Cheating Partner

[Guest_14904852]

I recently moved 2000km away from my family and support to live the sea life dream with my partner and my kids. 
I found out I am pregnant -18 weeks. 
yesterday on my birthday I found out he has been sleeping with escorts since we moved here. I don’t know what to do. I am so hurt. I am so angry. I haven’t eaten in days. I can’t even function. He has left our house and I haven’t heard from him in over 24 hours. 
I’ve booked a std test for next week. 
where do I go from here. 
I have no money to relocate. I’m stuck here. 
I go on maternity leave in a few months with no income. I don’t see any way out of this mess. I feel like I am drowning. 

[white knight]

HI, welcome

Sorry to hear of this dilemma. Feeling trapped is an really bad place to be.

Unfortunately there are many gaps in this story that we really do need to know like- if he returns what is YOUR feelings? Cant you forgive him? Do you want to gamble on a future? Could he pay child support if you split? How does he feel about it all?

What is paramount if you separate is your and your children welfare and I see no option but to rely on the social security/salvation Army and the like to get you through this mess. Any family?

As these bed partners are escorts there is some difference to a one person to person affair, its good you are getting STD testing but also I would guess that trust is further away for a restart as there could be multiple sexual partners rather than a personal connection if you understand my meaning there. With an affair I put all the decision making on the deceived person based on if they feel that the affair is really over and heaps of regret, some couples get through that and grow trust again but escorts are available anywhere... a lost 2 hours anytime in the future could mean you'll be thinking...

So, emergency accommodation, food, schooling etc is your only choice. I'm very sorry I cant help you more but will put out a notice for other champions here to reach out with more ideas. 

This is a time to be strong for your kids and yourself, no one else matters at this point

TonyWK

[indigo22]

Hello,

I am so glad you decided to reach out to us.

It sounds like you are in a state of aftershock which is totally understandable. I will have a few questions for you also, which will help us give the best advice we can.

Are you planning to leave this relationship? From your words, it sounds like you are.

If this is the case, ideally you need to be close to family and friends to support you through this situation. I understand that you do not have the finances at present to move, but I am wondering if you have family and friends that would be willing to help you financially in this regard. I know that is not an easy thing to ask, but pride would need to take second place in a situation like this, for yourself, your children and your unborn baby.

Has your partner given you any indication that he regrets any of his actions or what his plans are going forward?

Without that knowledge, you are in limbo with making decisions.

In your post you mentioned moving with your partner and your kids, does this mean that they are not his kids?

We are not sure how to advise you without some additional information.

Please take some deep breaths and try to eat, you need to keep your strength up at present for everyone's sake. We are here to help you, but you must also take care of yourself.

indigo

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome.

Firstly... I just want to start by saying how sorry I am that you're going through this. What you've shared is heartbreaking, and no one deserves to be hurt like this. Truly!

Please know that your feelings—your anger, your pain, your overwhelm—they are completely valid. You're not weak for feeling this way. You're actually incredibly strong for reaching out, even in the middle of all this.

I wonder if you have any family or friends you can talk to? I am also wondering if there are any services in the area you can call as well? Even if there were a national service you could contact, they might be able to point you in the right direction? You deserve safety, love, and support.

Listening ...

[Goofy]

This sounds very much lije what happened to me. We moved from Sydney to Perth to further HIS career. Kids were 6 and 8.  He started screwing around. When I found out he said he woykd go to counselling. He did not discuss this issue at coubcelling and lied to me that he was working on it whilst cobtinuing to sleep with prostututes. He spent at least $22000, probably more. 

You need to get out now. He will not change. Please don't waste another 5 uears of you life on this man like I did. I reallt, really regret not leaving sooner. Dont let you children grow up in a toxic family situation. I have huge regrets that I put my kids through this and didnt leave sooner. 

As for the financial side, I dont know what to say because my separation is still being worked out. I suggest y oiu go to the government website amica to get an idea of what y oure entitled to.

Do not stay with this man because how you feel now will be so much worse in 5 years time if you do. My mental health has been completly destroyed along with my daughters. 

[quirkywords]

Guest and goofy 

sorry to hear both of your stories. Indigo and Toney have written supportive  comments. 
Guest are you able to look after  your health.
 Are you seeking prenatal care. Goofy thanks for sharing your experience. 

You are in shock. I’m