Hi there! It's been a long time since I've been on BBForums, and so much has changed; I hope everyone is doing well 🙂
Context: I met my boyfriend in Asia where I was on a semester exchange and he is U.S military working there on a 3-year contract. When we met, we only had a month until I had to go back to Australia. We both fell very hard and fast, and while we initially intended to just enjoy the month we had, we couldn't seem to say goodbye, so after some serious consideration, we agreed to try long distance.
So far so good! We've visited each other multiple times, he's met my family and I'll meet his in December. We text and call every day, do online date nights and check-ins, send each other letters and gifts, etc.
However, I've recently been feeling anxiety about loyalty. Mainly because:
1) It seems like everyone in the military cheat on their significant others, a stereotype he has confirmed.
2) Before me, he's had many casual/brief partners, which does not turn me off of HIM, but it does make me anxious that I won't be able to satisfy him or live up to his past experiences, especially from so far away.
3) He's very conventionally attractive, which makes me anxious about other's intentions and if he'd give in. This wasn't the case with my last relationship.
I'm very aware that I have no reason to be anxious, he's proven to be nothing but unconditionally loving and loyal, and vehemently against cheating (he has the same anxieties about me, but he's always struggled with this in previous relationships).
My point is that I've never experienced such feelings of anxiety, protectiveness and jealousy before; these feelings are so very new to me, I don't know what to do with them other than ignore or intellectualise them or seek his affirmation, which doesn't put the worries to rest forever. But I refuse to let my insecurities hold him back or drive him away.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these feelings? Maybe all I can do is manage them until they ease with time and trust...
