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I left my marriage for him and he went back to his marriage
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Hi everyone this is so hard to write as I have so much to explain and no energy to explain as I'm hurting, I was married and It wasn't a healthy marriage - my husband neglected me and emotionally was abusive... I had an old crush message me via internet and we started what was an emotional affair ... he was also married and un happy we both have kids to our husband/wife. Things turned up after months of being emotionally reliant on one another, it turned physical and we would risk seeing each other late at night after work or briefly on weekends at the shops ect, I left my marriage for him, got a rental left all my furniture to my husband, my lover left his wife and moved in with his parents not too long after, his ex has power over him (their kids) that she use so to bring him back to the house (two times he has ended it with me and gone back to the house to be with his kids and he comes back after a week or so totally hurt because she's controlling him and he loves me) he's recently ended it with me but on the basis that he can't handle being away from his kids and he doesn't want them to think he abandoned them for his own happiness .... he's torn but his kids come first... none of my friends or family know my situation so I feel my heart is shattered and I can't even reach out to vent and I'm still in love with this man, what do I do if he leaves her again (for good) and how would I know it's for good... can I trust him... we have been vey honest and real with each other even confessing when we slept with our husband or wife and sharing how we felt about it ect... he's not lied to me.... so I trust him still.... tell me am I crazy and alone? Has anyone ever been in his situation or similar and ended up dumped and alone? Or has it ended up with u and ur lover being together and sticking through it hard times and all? Please help I'm a broken mess with a poker face on infront of my friends!
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New boobs? 😄 Bless modern medicine. I would love some work done one day myself, but not boobs. LOL !
Stay tuned = my male thing is likely to get the boot. I have been the bottom of his important list for too long. I am never a priority, NEVER ! I am at rage point. I am so angry. SO SO ANGRY.
**sigh** I feel like such a failure.
Velv.
X
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Velv - I hear that you are angry, and hurt. Understandable so by the sounds.
However - be sure that you are making your decision when you are in the right frame of mind, not when you're highly strung/emotional/etc.
You're probably already well aware of all this, just thought i'd raise it - we've all made bad decisions or poorly timed ones when in a less than desirable head space!
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Hello TheArtistFormallyKnownAs!!!!!!
Ah yes I know. That's why I am again going to voice my concerns, (AGAIN!!!!!!!), and suggest a break because of all the blah blah blah. Thing is - his apathy is why he is is the position he is !!!!!!!!!! He is more concerned with keeping the ex happy than me. **cranky face**... I agree if the kids welfare is the thing, but not her! BAH !
Sorry, not going to thread steal here. 😄
My main thing was so that Hurtinginsilence knew she certainly wasn't alone with these feelings amongst a kind of similar situation.
**Many hugs to all today**
Velv.
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Nope just hit critical mass.
I smell games and assorted yuk.
But thank you. I hope you're ok?
Sleep will fail tonight !!!!
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9 months.
I love him but the situation is not good and I don't think I like him anymore.
Hes been trying but something is missing in me.
all your words resonate I understand so much !
im really sad ATM so lost for words.
Relationships are so hard
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Dear Hurtinginsilence,
Yes, I have been in very similar situation he was married I was not. It was not planned, we were completely on the same page and in love.
I ended this affair because I never wanted to be "the other woman" and also because say he did leave his wife, what's to say I wouldn't be next down the track? A man who has an affair does so because there is some ingredient missing in the marriage so they look elsewhere for what is missing. Most men have no intention of leaving the devil they know and their comfort zone. They also realise leaving will be costly and unpleasant for all concerned so to them an affair is safe.
The man I was involved with vowed to leave his wife but never did. Even today he still contacts me telling me how much he loves me and wants to be together. The only affect his words have on me is my upchuck reflexes. I now find him pathetic and feel sorry for his wife. I believe I had a lucky escape and don't deserve to be involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable not to mention can't commit 100% toward a relationship. No woman should be happy with crumbs thrown her way by a man.
My advice, as hard as it may be, kick him to the curb and leave yourself available to someone who will treat you as option 1.
good luck
xxxx
