I left my marriage for him and he went back to his marriage

[Hurtinginsilence]

Hi everyone this is so hard to write as I have so much to explain and no energy to explain as I'm hurting, I was married and It wasn't a healthy marriage - my husband neglected me and emotionally was abusive... I had an old crush message me via internet and we started what was an emotional affair ... he was also married and un happy we both have kids to our husband/wife. Things turned up after months of being emotionally reliant on one another, it turned physical and we would risk seeing each other late at night after work or briefly on weekends at the shops ect, I left my marriage for him, got a rental left all my furniture to my husband, my lover left his wife and moved in with his parents not too long after, his ex has power over him (their kids) that she use so to bring him back to the house (two times he has ended it with me and gone back to the house to be with his kids and he comes back after a week or so totally hurt because she's controlling him and he loves me) he's recently ended it with me but on the basis that he can't handle being away from his kids and he doesn't want them to think he abandoned them for his own happiness .... he's torn but his kids come first... none of my friends or family know my situation so I feel my heart is shattered and I can't even reach out to vent and I'm still in love with this man, what do I do if he leaves her again (for good) and how would I know it's for good... can I trust him... we have been vey honest and real with each other even confessing when we slept with our husband or wife and sharing how we felt about it ect... he's not lied to me.... so I trust him still.... tell me am I crazy and alone? Has anyone ever been in his situation or similar and ended up dumped and alone? Or has it ended up with u and ur lover being together and sticking through it hard times and all? Please help I'm a broken mess with a poker face on infront of my friends!

[Hurtinginsilence]

How do u kick the love feeling to the curb ? My last contact with him was a week and a half ago where he said "I love you too beautiful" I wish I could forget him erase the past 13 months and move on. But there was something about him I can't let go of! 😔😔😔

[velvetfaerie]

Time. And understanding you deserve better.

Very Quick background- I dumped my man because him and his ex are splitting assets... during this time she's made life so hard for him he can't see me much at all, plus he is FIFO. She's used the kids and the house as the obstacle knowing he's too scared to do a damn thing until the house is gone. He's emotionally available but not physically at this time.

So I love him but not that situation. So goodbye...He didn't need my grumpiness on top of the crap either. Im also dealing with stuff to do with me as well.

Time and concentration on you. Do nice things for you. Hang with mates. Do some artistic stuff. Eat chocolate 😁

love is a bitch... there are pieces of my heart all around my home state... love them enough to let them go.

Velv.

x

[broken1]

Hi Hurtinginsilence,

I just read your post from a few years back, and chances are you are no longer checking these forums. I too am in the same situation as yourself, except I am the male. Like yourself, we both left marriages, paid the ultimate sacrifice. During the relationship (serious for 12 months) I have experienced the exact same behavior and also felt the same way as yourself. I was always a really strong person, but the love I had for this person was like nothing I have felt before. Unfortunately the desire to please her children draws her back to the relationship. This is the second time for me now, and I have tried desperately to save it, but I feel this is the end this time. Not only am I sad about the loss of her, it has all hit home as I feel I really have lost it all. I gave it every piece of me but she just couldn't. She also suffered mental health issues. Im just at a loss at the moment as I cant seem to move past it. I know I should respect my own self worth, but I was just so in love. How did you situation end up long term? Did you make it?