I have no one in my life - lonely

[Flamingo1989]

Hi everyone I'm new and need to share my story with someone. I am 40 years old. I have never had a boyfriend. I have no friends only work colleagues I make small talk with. My mum is dying of cancer and my dad married to her for 40+ years is falling apart. My brother wife hates me. She doesn't understand who I am or what I suffer from. I don't have a close relationship with my brother and don't get to see my niece and nephew because my sister in law won't allow it. I live alone with my 2 cats. Quite frankly as of now I feel so afraid and alone. I fear how I will ever feel normal like everyone else on society. I struggle to hold my minimum wage job and will most likely lose this too next year. I feel like I have lost everything. I have recently learnt in the past 5 years that life is brutal and even the people who say they love you and will never leave your side, do eventually. I find it extremely difficult socially and have crippling anxiety. What is the point of going on? Life is only going to get worse. How can I manage? I suffer from BPD. Being alone is my biggest fear. The nightmare is real.

[Flamingo1989]

Hi Golden, thankyou Flamingos are my favourite and I love all animals because they don't judge. My heart goes out to you too. It feels comforting to know I am not the only one but also very sad for you as I know all too well the pain you are going through too. Why do good people always get hurt or taken advantage of? This question angers me daily. I wouldn't hurt a fly and am kind and gentle to everyone who treats me fairly and as an equal. Please keep in contact I feel we both could really help one another 🙂

[Flamingo1989]

Hi Katy no I actually have never bought that up during our sessions but won't hurt to try. I just don't want to offend them in a way, I'm too empathetic. Perhaps there are other strategies. Trying to stay positive. Today in Melbourne it's freezing, I miss the sun makes me feel better. Where are you from and how are you travelling? Xxx

[golden82]

Hi again Flamingo,

Great to hear back from you. Thank you for your empathy. It tends to be us empathetic souls that get treated like crap, and we forgive and forgive, getting more and more hurt. I really think there are 2 types of ppl in this world - those like us who think of others - and those who think only of themselves. Obviously that is a very simplified e.g.

I hope you are feeling okay at the moment - and maybe consider looking around the site at some of the other threads to see if any are of interest or help to you. There are some under 'staying well' where ppl write 3 things of thankful, or self care etc, there are even gardening and craft threads where it is just a great place to chat if any of these interest you.

Yes, I'm about to chat when you need. Take care 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Flamingo, and a warm welcome to the site.

It must be a terrible experience you are going through and very sorry to know about your dear mum, plus your dad who is finding it very difficult to not only know what to do, but also, how he is going to cope in such an awkward situation as he may not know where to turn for help.

The same would apply to you, not knowing who you can turn to for help, but you have made friends here already and totally understand the position you're in and hope that you can come back and talk to us, some of us have been in the same situation, while others have the capacity to relate to what you've said, so you ave friends who want to help you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Flamingo1989]

Hi Geoff thankyou I enjoy coming on here to check and see who has responded and appreciate your well wishes. It's amazing how a person you have never met online can touch your heart. It's nice to know that others can relate and support is available on this forum. I'm looking forward to making more connections. Wishing you well too and a huge thankyou for replying to my post. It means so much. You take care xxx

[Flamingo1989]

Totally agree Golden. I actually enjoy craft and hair design when I have enough motivation. I will take a look at the other threads thankyou for the advice and the offer to chat. It's funny how a person's kind, wise words help me find a little hope for the day. I appreciate it very much and the offer to chat when needing someone to talk too. Take care xx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi again

Im in WA. I read that we’ve had the wettest winter in 20 years here. I can’t remember the last time I saw the sun. I’m like you - sunshine always makes me feel better. My washing is piling up so I may have to give in and use the dryer!

I was going to ask if you have hobbies, but I see you like craft and hair design - what does hair design entail? I’ve made origami paper cranes (was hoping they might bring me good luck lol) and I’m going to hang them up today. What are your plans?

Katy

[emotionallydrained]

Hi Flamingo,

I'm sorry to read of your loneliness and I do pray for some lovely people to come into your life.

Have you tried doing some volunteer work or working in an animal shelter? You might find like minded people who you can build friendships with?

Loneliness can be hard and I think the current environment doesn't make it any easy to combat that. We're all being told to be on our own, so it's hard to live life or even see the trees for the forest.

You have done the right thing by coming on a forum like this, it's a place where you can talk and people will listen without judgement. I hope you can find someone in your life who can also give you this and I do wish all the best to your Mum. That must be so hard for you all.

Hang in there. Sometimes the best is just around the corner.

[Flamingo1989]

Hi emotionallydrained thanks for your reply. I haven't although my it would be something to think about. I find it hard enough to get out of bed most days - no motivation to do anything. Animals are amazing they know when you're upset too. Thanks for your well wishes for my mum but there's nothing they can do for her. How's life in WA? Some days I feel like running away from it all but then I realise I'll be in the same boat no matter where I go. Not many people like me because I'm shy and quiet. I find it very hard to make friends and constantly compare everyone I meet to a previous friend I had who wants nothing to do with me anymore because of my depression. Feels like I'll be this way forever or until I've had enough.

[Flamingo1989]

Hi Katy I work as a bridal hair stylist so in my spare time when I feel up to it I like to play around with the mannequin heads. But it makes me more depressed, the entire industry, because all I've ever wanted is to be married and have a family. Whenever I see a bride in the morning I feel like breaking down although am happy for them at the same time.

Melbourne's weather is cold once again, miserable day. Hope you had fun making your origami. I've been in bed all day. Today's not a good one. Take care xx