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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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halo82 Paranoid about husband leaving me for someone else
  • replies: 3

Hi there. I'm new here Recently I was camping with my husband, and as we sat by the fire listening to music, I noticed him playing on his phone. I asked 'whatcha doing' in a friendly way and he replied with 'nothing'. As he said this, his phone tilte... View more

Hi there. I'm new here Recently I was camping with my husband, and as we sat by the fire listening to music, I noticed him playing on his phone. I asked 'whatcha doing' in a friendly way and he replied with 'nothing'. As he said this, his phone tilted toward me and I watched him delete a trail from Messenger, right before he turned the phone to lock mode. I asked calmly 'why did you just delete a message trail? He replied 'I didn't'. Things then got a little heated because I knew what I had seen and couldn't understand why he was lying about it. I hate dishonesty, even when considered a 'white lie' and he knows how I feel about it. He went into full on defensive mode, and I was completely taken aback because I had never meant to argue. I just wanted to know why he felt the need to delete messages. We have been married for four years and I have never even gone near his phone or questioned what he's up to. The next day when we'd cooled down, I explained how I just needed him to be honest. We have not been in a good place this year for various reasons and have lost emotional and physical connection. He told me that he had been messaging a mate from back home (overseas) and getting advice on our relationship. He was messaging because he needed support. I believe him and I have no issue with him talking about me and our issues to close friends as I know everyone needs someone to talk to. However... since that night, I have become super paranoid. What else is he hiding? Who else is he chatting to? Does he talk to girls? What is he doing right now with this phone? I am becoming anxious, losing sleep, and have started worrying that he's cheating on me. My husband is very attractive physically and has an outgoing personality. I on the other hand, have zero self confidence, have suffered with anxiety and depression, went through alcoholism, have gained a lot of weight, have low self esteem, and I don't really have any friends. I know that my weight gain and lack of motivation has been an issue for my husband even though he's too polite to say it. I am working on myself now, have started exercising and eating better and really trying to look after myself. This is for me. I just worry that I'm too late and that he'll be moving onto someone else before I can become my best. How has one small action turned me into an anxious, untrusting and paranoid mess? How do I start trying to relax and trust again? I need some words of wisdom to help me from losing my mind. Thx

cammy7 Advice Or Guidance Please!
  • replies: 2

Hello. I’m new here. I was googling and saw people posting similar things. I’m a 23 yo single mother to my 13 mnth old daughter. We live alone and her father is not involed. I feel like I have no friends. I have 2 friends I still speak to but it feel... View more

Hello. I’m new here. I was googling and saw people posting similar things. I’m a 23 yo single mother to my 13 mnth old daughter. We live alone and her father is not involed. I feel like I have no friends. I have 2 friends I still speak to but it feels like I am bothering them. They hardly message me back and when I do try to make plans they are too tired or busy. They always seem to make plans with others though. I rarely see them and when I do I almost feel awkward and like I am around strangers because we haven’t spoken or seen eachother in so long. They didn’t offer any support while I was pregnant and first had my daughter. I did everything alone and they didn’t and still don’t ask how we are doing. I don’t have a boyfriend or go out anywhere unless I need to as I always have my daughter. I love her to pieces but she is very clingy/whingy so I avoid going to the shops and do my food/other shopping online because she usually cries and we leave mid shop. She wants to be carried always too. I do have amazing parents and siblings but there is no support. It is more just a catch up when we see eachother. There are really busy and don’t have the time to ever babysit for me to go out and meet people. I do not work but I study business full time at university. When I first started my degree I didn’t connect with anybody and spent my days on campus sitting alone at the back of my classes and sitting alone on breaks. Due to Covid, uni ended up online so for this year I have been at home with my little one studying. I don’t have any uni friends and I feel like I wont make any. Maybe it has been too long since having any real friends and socialising properly but I feel like I don’t even know how to talk anymore. My daughter goes to daycare once a week while I do extra study but other than that we are together always. When I drop her to daycare I feel so awkward even talking to the workers because I don’t know what to say. I am never around people anymore and I think I just feel so lonely and like my days are repetitive and boring. I’m not sure where I am going with this post but I guess I am looking for some advice/guidance on what to do. I see posts online of people my age with their boyfriends or proper friend groups and I feel so isolated and sad. I tried looking into mum groups but leaving my house to be with strangers I cant even speak to just makes me feel anxioust at this point. I used to be outgoing. Does anyone else feel this way? Thank you for reading

bubbles_01 Confused!!
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, I recently walked out of a relationship of 8 years with our 7 year old son. Due to my ex drinking and gambling for a long time. I pushed him away as soon as I had our son. Not intentionally, though I felt I was very alone . I fell into d... View more

Hi everyone, I recently walked out of a relationship of 8 years with our 7 year old son. Due to my ex drinking and gambling for a long time. I pushed him away as soon as I had our son. Not intentionally, though I felt I was very alone . I fell into depression and anxiety and refused help from anyone specially my ex. So we have been separated for 6 weeks almost 7. For the 1st 4 weeks I went a little crazy. Met a new friend spent all my spare time with him. My ex had me followed and in the last two weeks I have come clean to him in what I was doing. I felt like I needed to be loved and find attention off someone as I wasn't getting in before. The last 2 weeks I have been trying to sort things out with my ex? He wants to but he is so hurt from what I have been doing! Do I want to be with him? I don't know . Do I wait for him to forgive me if he can. I need help someone who doesn't know me to talk my feeling thru? I'm drained everyday and I feel like I'm losing my mind 24/7

cn9802 Husband hates family
  • replies: 6

My husband and I recently found out that my sister in law (my brothers wife) has said some horrible things about my husband (saying he abuses me) which is completely untrue. At first she denied it and changed her story but when she realised she had b... View more

My husband and I recently found out that my sister in law (my brothers wife) has said some horrible things about my husband (saying he abuses me) which is completely untrue. At first she denied it and changed her story but when she realised she had been caught out she made a non sincere apology and expects for everything to go back to ‘normal’ (I have never been close with her) my husband has severe trust issues which I’ve always been able to deal with but now he has said because of this, and that my parents knew and didn’t say anything to her that he never wants to see any of my family again. I completely understand why he feels the way he does but I’m struggling with not being able to have my family around us especially my parents. My husband says I can go visit them with the kids but he won’t go but they are not allowed to visit us. My parents cannot understand that we need time to process and move on and think we have completely overreacted. I feel like I am treading a tight rope between my family and my husband!

Goat24 Break up
  • replies: 8

Hey everyone, My boyfriend of a year broke up with me on Sunday via text message. He has since blocked my number and all my social media and we live 500kms away from each other. We had been extremely close, and he was my best friend and biggest suppo... View more

Hey everyone, My boyfriend of a year broke up with me on Sunday via text message. He has since blocked my number and all my social media and we live 500kms away from each other. We had been extremely close, and he was my best friend and biggest supporter. I live with significant mental health issues and I am really struggling with the breakup and the absence of communication now. I am struggling to manage every day activities and I miss him beyond words. I’m having very miserable days with lots of panic, and he’s the one person I could always go to for help. I’m really lost and hurt by how he handled the situation. I keep blaming myself for everything and just constantly thinking of our times together. I’m really struggling. Does anyone have any advice?

GenevieveH Alcoholic Mother in Law
  • replies: 3

I have recently had a baby and am struggling with my partners mother. She is battling alcohol addition and has been in and out of rehab facilities over the last few years. I feel extremely uncomfortable with her around my baby because I can never be ... View more

I have recently had a baby and am struggling with my partners mother. She is battling alcohol addition and has been in and out of rehab facilities over the last few years. I feel extremely uncomfortable with her around my baby because I can never be confident that she hasn’t been drinking. She makes comments about babysitting but I could never risk the safety of my child which is sad because she obviously wants to have a relationship with our child but is currently not doing anything to help get her drinking under control. It is her birthday this week and we are having a family dinner at a restaurant. My partner has informed me that she will be drinking which again makes me feel uneasy. When I asked him if he thought that was appropriate he got quite defensive saying it was better that she was drinking with her family rather than alone. I just don’t know what the appropriate way to deal with this situation is. I don’t want to make a statement by not going but I can feel myself being judgemental if I do go to the dinner. I am really at a loss and it’s making me feel isolated from my partner because we have very conflicting ideas on how things should be managed.

Baran Afraid of losing unsuitable friends because of loneliness feeling
  • replies: 1

Hi, My biggest issue is loneliness feeling in Australia and being far from my family so when I find new friends specially from the same country, I trust them easily and deny their unfaithful behaviour. After a while I find out or I open my eyes and s... View more

Hi, My biggest issue is loneliness feeling in Australia and being far from my family so when I find new friends specially from the same country, I trust them easily and deny their unfaithful behaviour. After a while I find out or I open my eyes and start to see the truth... I’m scared of losing friends 🥺help me

Nothappyuni You are not alone. Pain and anxiety from breakups.
  • replies: 4

Over a year ago now, I hastily packed a bag with some things and drove away from everything I knew- my entire world. I slept in my car, showering and what have you, at my university campus. 25 years, a partner, children, in-laws, house, possessions, ... View more

Over a year ago now, I hastily packed a bag with some things and drove away from everything I knew- my entire world. I slept in my car, showering and what have you, at my university campus. 25 years, a partner, children, in-laws, house, possessions, neighbours and friends- all disappeared in the wink of an eye. It was not an easy decision, but it was necessary for self preservation. If you are suffering in a bad relationship, if you have recently broken up, or it has been a while since the break up but you are still hurting a great deal: I say to you "reach out". You may find help and support in the most unexpected places. It has been a difficult year for many. With very fibre of me I wish you the very best into the future, know that you are not alone, know that others have walked the same path, and know that while we are all different, there are those who have had such incredible grief, and yet they have moved on and overcome or at least come to terms with their grief (In my darker moments I think of a friend I have, who lost his legs and family. I think to myself, 'though I am broken hearted and lonely, my lot is not such a bad one'). To a brighter future and a fresh new year full of promise.

Hopeful_18 My mums partner had given her an ultimatum because of me
  • replies: 7

Hi all, Approx 6months ago I had a falling out with my mums partner. Im 28 and she has been with him for 4yrs. I never liked him. But mums happiness was important. I got to know him & tried to include him. My sister and I always said there was someth... View more

Hi all, Approx 6months ago I had a falling out with my mums partner. Im 28 and she has been with him for 4yrs. I never liked him. But mums happiness was important. I got to know him & tried to include him. My sister and I always said there was something strange about him. To keep it short this man would always make comments about my weight everytime I was around (Im size 10-12 & fit, but solid) when I wasn’t he would tell my sister (22) Im manipulative towards her & always say negative things about me. We have fought heaps from the start and he’s always with my mum when I want to see her. This fight started over something small and I made a comment that got him going, he yelled and lunge at me over the fence. He said things that no women should ever be told so I blew & went right off. In the end he told me I deserved what I get from men for the way I dress (I am body conscious so I dress pretty conservative). This man continues to tell my mum I need to apologise for something I didn’t say. I suffer from anxiety as it is and I have a very good memory so I swear what he’s saying is not true. Anyway for the last 6months my mum has begged me to apologise or even fake one so he will help her and stop acting like this. I refuse to for what he has said, for him not willing to meet half way or acknowledge his role in the fight, for the things he’s said to mum after the fight and how he manipulates her. My life these last 6 months even through covid have been so much better with out this narcissistic man because I have not been shamed, slandered and degraded by him. Tonight my brother told me the partner has given mum an ultimatum. Either I apologise before Christmas or he is kicking her out and leaving her. Since the fight I’ve seen him twice and have spoken politely with a hello how are you. I have moved on, I will not apologise out of respect for myself and other women. And I will not apologise for something I didn’t say or an apology I don’t mean. Do I cave so Mum doesn’t get dumped and let this man continue to control Mum knowing he can play her children as they will cave for her to be happy, do I cut Mum and him off or deal with him kicking mum out and knowing my own anxiety will destroy me. When this fight happened I felt horrible and now for the first time since they met I am so much happier without him around (I live on mums and my late fathers 2nd farm hence why the he’s always around and should I leave). Thanks in advance x

Guest7890 I’m the one always initiating sex from my boyfriend
  • replies: 2

So I don’t really know what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a bit now and when we first came together it was new and exciting, we would have sex almost every day or every couple of days which I know is unrealistic over time b... View more

So I don’t really know what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a bit now and when we first came together it was new and exciting, we would have sex almost every day or every couple of days which I know is unrealistic over time but now, it feels like we only have it every couple of weeks and I’m always the one to initiate it. Its even more disappointing when I feel like i’m the one always trying and when he gets off, I’m still left horny and frustrated because I was unable to climax as well. The main thing I don’t like at the moment though is how much I am always wanting to get him in the mood, it feels as though he expects me to play the role and whenever he feels horny, he just waits for me to want it to initiate it. Aside from being left frustrated and like he doesn’t try for me, I also feel pretty rejected as a girl. He has said once before that hes just used to seeing me around half naked sometimes so he doesn’t quite get as excited as he used to, which really hurts my feelings because the main thing I take from that is that hes bored and doesn’t find me as sexually attractive or interesting as he used to. I feel really ugly, and a bit of a freak since I want sex so bad so often and he doesn’t seem to be interested most the times I try to get him in the mood. I want to talk it out with him but I’m worried it will turn into a fight. One thing I want to talk about is I want him to try more to make me feel good during sex, but its hard for me to imagine asking that without it being weird or turning into a fight, plus I would feel there would be extra pressure on me to climax even if I can’t and hes trying. I also feel like I can’t change how hes feeling and change his sex drive. My boyfriend has always been a really sexual guy so it hurts me to think he isn’t as interested or sexually driven to me anymore. My plan is to withdrawal a little in initiating sex so that maybe he will feel more abliged to try with me when he feels like it, I plan on watching porn to forfill my own desires in the mean time. Although I hope he changes so I don’t feel a need to do that often as I have withdrawn from watching porn ever since our relationshop started as it often makes me feel really lonely and sad afterwards. Has anyone and any girls been through this? Anyone have any advice please?