I have big feelings for my friend and I don't know what to do

[PsychedelicFur]

Hello. 

Recently, I left my partner and we were together for one year. Since leaving him, I have really felt quite lonely and yearning for some companionship.

My friend, who is much older than me, is very dear and important to me. We have known each other for more than five years, probably seven. 

I guess, in some way I have always felt something for him. However, I have never pursued or told him because I am afraid of rejection. He is empathic, kind, gentle, attentive, supportive and genuinely brought up properly. 

Plus the age gap is very large. I am of legal age but I feel like he wouldn't be interested in me, in that way. I am in my early twenties and I have told him he is important to me. 

The other day, there was a family emergency of mine and he came to visit me. He initiated hand holding, he held my hand to comfort me and then we cuddled on the sofa. Nothing escalated, which was really respectful of him. He has never taken advantage of me and he is different to other guys, that I have known. 

The only issue is he calls me his 'little sister'... I wish things were different. I really have a lot of love in my heart for him. And when he cuddled me and held my hand it brought SO MUCH comfort and happiness to me. I felt really comfortable and safe. I loved hearing his heart beat fast. 

I wish I could tell him that I love him but I'm really afraid of doing so. I really like him. 

PF.

[Croix]

Dear PF~

It is a difficult situation to face, and fear of being rejected, or even spoiling a great friendship can stop one from taking things further.

Looking at it another way if you have been freinds for 5+ years and things have not progressed maybe it is time you reached out a gentle feeler and see what happens. I don't thing asking your freind "Was that a sisterly cuddle, of could it be something else?" would be too forward.

I was in a somewhat similar situation once and asked osmeone "Was that a sisterly kiss?" and the reply was "What would you like it to be?". Worked out OK.

Croix

[PsychedelicFur]

So, I told him. He told me that I'm pretty and very loving. And cares about me, enormously but he is worried of losing our friendship due to personal things that happened with him, losing another woman as a friend because they were together. I feel a little upset. He said he wants to be my cuddle buddy though. 

I'm jealous of the other woman, he once was with. When she told me about him and her, seven or so years ago, I was CRUSHED. I'm envious of her. 

He said I'm very important to him. At least he loves me, as a friend.