I hate myself
Hi Lonely22, welcome to BB
"not accepting friend request on FB is indication she not interested" uh, no, that is not true. I only link with people on FB that I already have a genuine friendship with; not acquaintances and certainly not people that I have only recently met. FB opens up too much of ones personal life, and I'd like people to get to know me for me vs what I may have posted to another friend on FB.
Many of us rely on school and then uni to supply our friends; it's like were stuck together and we all have similar goals. But after education, where do we find them? Good question.
Finding friends is hard. Looking for them is harder. But attracting them isn't so hard if you know how. When people ask me what I am doing on the weekend, I always answer with what I like doing: volunteering and Life Drawing. And then I make friends with people who are attracted to my interests. I like to say that I find friends through work, through volunteering and charity organizations and through fraternal organizations, but really they find me.
Hi lonely 22, welcome.
SB as always got it spot in. And as hard as it is for you to make such effort you MUST acknowledge and accept that you have to make steps to help yourself.
The following threads might help.
Topic: confidence, how do you get it?- beyondblue
Topic: boredom, the closed door to fun- beyondblue
Topic: rejection, its hard to swallow beyondblue
Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue
Nobody is claiming it is easy.Two
Hi Lonely. Being so unsure and lacking confidence means stepping 'outside the square'. There's no right or wrong way of overcoming shyness and loneliness. Reaching out is not easy when you're not sure how or where to start. Fb, to me, is still 'hiding' behind something. I presume you attend church, you mentioned you have Christian beliefs. I gather your church would have a young adults gathering. Have you thought about approaching your youth minister and asking him/her to introduce you to some of the members in that group? The church I used to attend had a young adults section where the members could congregate before, during and after services for socializing. Youth ministers usually understand shyness, they also can help with introducing others who feel similar. Believe me many young people who attend church have your problems of shyness and lack confidence. The church I attended had a young school age girl who had problems with her height, she was fairly tall and extremely sensitive. One of the senior members often teased her (cruelly), he thought he was being kind. He used to tell her he liked tall girls. This girl approached the youth minister who introduced her to the young adults section. After a couple of social functions, the change was undeniable. All you need to do is talk to your youth minister, explain you are shy and lack confidence. Many young adults feel similar to you.
thank you for replying. I don't use FB really, I just wanted to get an indication, but you may be right. I only have family and close friends grown up with.
I feel like by now most already have established friendships and have no interest in making any more, of course this is not so for many people, but it just becomes harder when you don't see these people every day and don't know what they do away from wherever you are.
Ill take your advice and try to draw interest by talking about my own, thanks!
Thank you Lynda,
terrific advice. My church is only small and I'm youngest, other church groups offer youth groups and this is something I've been thinking about lately, I mean if any people are willing to accept me it is others with similar beliefs right, I just can't get past the idea that I'm so unconfident, and terrible at conversation, talking in general that even those people wouldn't want to waste time with me, or that they would only be acting out of kindness, but insincere and no intention of really wanting to be with me.
it means a lot getting to know your own experiences in this area, and I'd like very much to pursue this further and let you know how it turns out