Not sure what to name this
Hi melissam76. You are up against an immovable force, MIL. Is hubby the eldest or youngest son? It could be MIL had planned someone else as potential DIL. Obviously you have proved yourself quite capable and she is threatened by what she sees as you trying to take her son away. Son (your hubby) is 'pig in the middle', he wants to be loyal to you and mother. I would say the cleaner has possibly been instructed by MIL to let her know what your every movement is. I think, unfortunately, you are going to have to start making some painful decisions about where your future happiness lies. I suggest you ask your fiancée to think about having a break from everything. You need to distance yourself from MIL to clear your mind without the constant conflict. I wouldn't ask fiancée to 'choose'. I would just tell him you need some 'time out' as you are a bit overwhelmed with all the conflict. If he refuses to go with you, I would try to get away anyway. You need peace and quiet and staying there at the moment is far from peaceful. Do you have family you could stay with while you sort things out? Once you are away, hubby might realize what his mother is doing and saying. Sometimes 'shock treatment' is necessary. Leaving hubby might wake him up to what's going on.