Not sure what to name this

[melissam76]

My fiance and I are along with our 5 year old daughter, joined my partners mother and step father as assistant managers in a business. We relocated from the city to the country and nearly 4 years on, my life is not too good. My mother in law have never had a close relationship as such ( unlike the relationships she had with my fiances brothers's partners, extremely close) but in saying that I truly thought that we were friends. 12 months ago, I found out that her and my sister in law were trying to find dirt on me to get rid of me. I did see this with my own eyes. I was heartbroken, shattered, devastated to the point of having a breakdown and had to see a psychologist to help me thru. It almost ruined my relationship with my fiance, and broke our little family. But we got thru. I continued to work with her, as hard as it was and tho each day has been tough I have survived. Until reccently when I applied to have a month off work to plan our wedding, which didnt happen. MIL I believe was not happy about the wedding so jumped on me taking too much leave and appointed a safe work consultant to draw up work contracts ( I am the only employee and another young girl who is leaving in 2 months) anyway, our contract cleaner approcached me about her contract, I said that I wasnt familiar with them and she should speak to my partner who handles the payroll. that night I told my fiance the cleaners concerns, printed out her contract for him to read, he wasnt interested so i tore it up and thru it out. The cleaner has now gone to my MIL told her that I advised her to seek legal advice etc etc. This is not at all or even close to anything I said. So now, I am seen as trying to get the cleaner on my side and build an army against my MIL. This is not true, I am at my wits end. My fiance doesnt believe me and I'm scared Im going to lose my fiance and my family is going to fall apart. I dont know how to handle this or what to do, I feel like I'm at breaking point and Im so scared

[pipsy]

Hi melissam76. You are up against an immovable force, MIL. Is hubby the eldest or youngest son? It could be MIL had planned someone else as potential DIL. Obviously you have proved yourself quite capable and she is threatened by what she sees as you trying to take her son away. Son (your hubby) is 'pig in the middle', he wants to be loyal to you and mother. I would say the cleaner has possibly been instructed by MIL to let her know what your every movement is. I think, unfortunately, you are going to have to start making some painful decisions about where your future happiness lies. I suggest you ask your fiancée to think about having a break from everything. You need to distance yourself from MIL to clear your mind without the constant conflict. I wouldn't ask fiancée to 'choose'. I would just tell him you need some 'time out' as you are a bit overwhelmed with all the conflict. If he refuses to go with you, I would try to get away anyway. You need peace and quiet and staying there at the moment is far from peaceful. Do you have family you could stay with while you sort things out? Once you are away, hubby might realize what his mother is doing and saying. Sometimes 'shock treatment' is necessary. Leaving hubby might wake him up to what's going on.

Lynda

[melissam76]

thank you so much for taking the time and care to read and respond my post. When I get a moment alone, I will continue our conversation. and again, thank you, your words mean so much to me. I feel pretty alone xx