I feel so alone

[jorj08]

Hey everyone.

This is my last resort, I have tried talking to “friends” from work, my family and randoms from instagram but nobody is caring.

I am so lonely, on the 17th of May I broke up with my partner of 3 years because I was well and truly over it. feelings gone completely. irritated by everything.

Since then I have been living alone. I was thriving up until the past few days, I am sooo lonely. Reaching out to people feels good and hopeful until they don’t respond or don’t care. I am just so so so lonely and really need company or someone to talk to.

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi jorj08,

Welcome to the beyond blue forum. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling but also really pleased to see you reaching out on the beyondblue forum. Adjusting to a relationship change can be a really big period of transition especially after being together for three years. It is great to hear that you have been thriving up until the last few days. I wonder if there was a trigger to you feeling low? Please be kind to yourself during this period of transition and remember, it has only been a month. Learning how to be in this new space can take some time. You are not alone in adjusting to new circumstances and I know there are many posts about this on the forum.

In my experience, most people don't always ask for help very well. I wonder when you have reached out to friends and family that you have been really specific in how you are feeling and what you need from them? At times, people observe only the superficial layer and if you have been travelling okay since the breakup, perhaps the people around you just think that everything is fine. When in reality, you are adjusting to living alone without your ex and perhaps the people around you aren't seeing how hard this is. You might have to tell those around you that you are really struggling and need more support from them.

Another option is to start making more plans so have fixed activities that you can look forward to on the calendar. ie. meet {friend} for lunch weekly, go to [family] for dinner weekly. Another option is to start looking for a new social activity that helps you connect with other people. You might find for the first little while after your breakup you are going out and doing a lot more activities while you are adjusting. Once you have adjusted, you will become more relaxed with your own company again. This can take time. I remember after a few relationship breakups, I have taken courses and classes that I never would have normally taken (tennis, stained glass...). They were interesting and helped me get out there and meet new people.

Beyond blue has other services that you might find helpful such as the phone support line on 1300 22 4636 or the beyondblue web chat. Sometimes when you are a having a down day or two, reaching out for some extra support and having a chat can be really helpful.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn