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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Guest_232 Feeling Empty
  • replies: 6

Hey guys. I’ve been bottling in all my emotions for a while now, so any help / advice would be appriciated. Sorry if it’s long. I’m in a really toxic relationship with my ex right now.The day after telling me something has changed for the better in o... View more

Hey guys. I’ve been bottling in all my emotions for a while now, so any help / advice would be appriciated. Sorry if it’s long. I’m in a really toxic relationship with my ex right now.The day after telling me something has changed for the better in our relationship, my now ex broke of a year and a half broke up with me because she said feelings change. However, only four days after the break up she came back to me begging for my forgiveness and saying she was feeling sucidal and self harming. Of course, disregarding my own feelings, I blindly pretended like she didn’t hurt me at all to make her feel better. She has recovered from her down period after five days. It’s been a month and a half and I still feel so empty. She was my only real friend, and since this was the case, I was so dependent on her. To this day, I message her all day about life and we talk. And I know she is playing me and trying to use me for sex still, but I really can’t help just going a long with it cause I’m still so in love. If I ever tell her I’m feeling down about what happened or I want some space, she just threatens to have sex with other guys or sends me photos with her DMs filled with guys hitting her up. Being full honest, I’m currently crying while writing this. I feel terrible that im to weak to change my feelings for her even though deep down it is ruining my life, and has been for the past month and a half. I feel so empty, like something is missing in me. I’m still so dependent on her even though she threatens sleeping with other guys and that just makes it even worse. It really doesn’t help that this week my dog was put down due to cancer. It has reached the stage where I feel worthless and empty. I feel like every day is just a struggle to impress her and win her back even though I’m so confilicted on if I still want to be with her. Over the past two weeks, I’ve had on average 3 hours sleep a night and it’s slowly bringing down my grades. I used to self harm two years ago, and I’ve used so much will power to stop myself from doing it again. im sorry about ranting, it’s just I feel so pointless and worthless, and I just needed to tell people. My family is extremely supportive, but I can’t bring up the nerve to talk to them because they see mental health issues as a joke. thanks for reading and any help is appriciated. I feel I’ve hit rock bottom. colbision

meekamoo Not sure what to do: Boyfriend’s family at risk of harm.
  • replies: 3

I would prefer to not say my name as I am posting this on behalf of my boyfriend Ty. For starters, I’m turning 18 in September and Ty doesn’t turn 18 until December. We are both in year 12 completing our HSC. Here’s a little background information ab... View more

I would prefer to not say my name as I am posting this on behalf of my boyfriend Ty. For starters, I’m turning 18 in September and Ty doesn’t turn 18 until December. We are both in year 12 completing our HSC. Here’s a little background information about myself - I come from a sticky situation at home, where family violence and drugs have been involved, hence part of the reason why I have moved out of home and in with my boyfriend because of all the drama. I have been with Ty for 2 years now, and living with him for about 3 months. Over the last 2 years I have seen Ty, his mother, and his two younger siblings being emotionally abused by their father. Particularly, Ty’s mum and himself when Ty stands up for his mum. Ty’s mum and dad are no longer together, but are still living under the same roof. He is a schizophrenia who doesn’t take his medication and is constantly abusing everyone mentally; to the point where we have to lock ourselves in a room. He manipulates people to make them think that Ty’s mum is a bad parent. He calls her names to her face and stands over the top of her. She’s ashamed to tell her family that he is still living in the house. Ty wants to love his dad despite Ty’s fathers behaviour, but he struggles to because of the way he treats his mum. Ty’s younger siblings are scared of their dad, and so am I. Ty’s mum has called the police once since me being in Ty’s life as Richard threatened Ty and physically harmed him. The police ended up leaving and saying that it is justifiable chastisement - all being Ty’s father got in their ear and said that Ty’s mum is a bad parent and he just wants to discipline his children correctly. This emotional abuse has been going on for a very long time, apparently longer than what I’ve seen and been around. I have no doubt that this is true. My heart aches for this family so please help. We need all the help we can get.

LostonaForum Friendship is a mess, what should I do?
  • replies: 2

So this is a fairly long and complicated story so i'll do my best. I have a friend and we've been really good friends for a while now but about three weeks ago her sister moved in and the day I visited her and her sister it became a total mess when t... View more

So this is a fairly long and complicated story so i'll do my best. I have a friend and we've been really good friends for a while now but about three weeks ago her sister moved in and the day I visited her and her sister it became a total mess when those two broke out into a fight. I know i'm biased but I felt that her sister was in the wrong and I told her sister off then I said that my friend should stay with me for a bit to cool down, which she did. After she left the next couple days seemed fine but I noticed my friend became a bit more distant I asked about it and she said she needed space so I said okay. I gave it a bit and asked if she wanted to catch up and she declined I was hurt but I understood. It then got to a point where I was lucky to get a text message from her. When I asked if something was wrong she just put it down too trying to focus on her studies. I was really worried I thought I may have done something so I decided to ask her partner if she knew about anything and I regretfully asked her partner not to say anything as I didn't know how she'd react. Her partner was not happy at all and proceeded to tell me off and explained that my friend was stressed and needed space as she wanted to fix things with her sister. I then got an angry message from my friend telling me off for contacting her partner behind her back but I felt I was out of options as I didn't know why she was so distant and I was worried I may have done something. After the fight I said we need to fix this, it's not that I even expect us to be friends anymore I just don't like to leave things this way. We did plan to meet up today but she cancelled last minute I then asked if we could reschedule but she doesn't want to. I don't know what to do anymore I feel there's a lot of issues between us and if it goes ignored for too long it'll fester. If it's true that I should give her space then I don't know what I did to make her feel she needed space from me and I still feel that no one is telling me why.

Ianto At my wits end, relationship is falling apart...
  • replies: 3

A week and a half ago, my partner came back from a short snow trip with some friends where they had taken my ute and told me that they hit a kangaroo on the way there. Thankfully, the only damage was a broken mudflap. All people and presumably the ka... View more

A week and a half ago, my partner came back from a short snow trip with some friends where they had taken my ute and told me that they hit a kangaroo on the way there. Thankfully, the only damage was a broken mudflap. All people and presumably the kangaroo survived the ordeal as they couldn’t find the offending roo. When he told me, I looked at it and my response was, “ah well, these things happen. Don’t worry about it”. After that, he made the assumption that I was angry and subsequently got angry with me. Also, my understanding was that he would be the one doing the driving. I have a problem trusting just anyone to drive my cars as you never know if they’ll take responsibility for anything they do. He agreed to that. A few days later I saw a picture on facebook showing that one of his friends were driving and when I confronted him, he first denied it, then admitted it and proceeded to tell me it was my fault that he didn’t feel he could tell me the truth. I’ve asked him why he feels that way, but I haven’t got a clear answer other than he lives in fear of disappointing me, and that it has something to do with his parents. Obviously, that’s pretty unclear to me… So I’ve written that for context… He has a lot of issues that he has to deal with. He’s an extremely highly strung, angry man who suffers substance addiction problems, depression and anxiety attacks. A lot of this I didn’t know until after we’d been together for a while. As far as substances are concerned, he had told me, but said it was way behind him. He smokes pot every day now because he can’t get his preffered pain killer over the counter anymore. He had been taking up to 60 of those tablets a day. I kept telling him to stop because it would damage his stomach but obviously the addiction meant he didn’t listen. He has now dropped more than 30Kg and has constant pain from a suspected stomach ulcer. I’m worried and angry because we’re now living the nightmare I warned him of but I can’t say “I told you so”. There's more to this that I'll get to gradually.

Countrygal85 Separated, addiction and lost
  • replies: 8

Hi to all, this is the first time writing this so please be gentle on me 2.5 years ago my fiance separated from me and after that I have not coped so well. 7 years and 2 kids he just didn't wanttodoitanymore I was a nurse who loved her job and it was... View more

Hi to all, this is the first time writing this so please be gentle on me 2.5 years ago my fiance separated from me and after that I have not coped so well. 7 years and 2 kids he just didn't wanttodoitanymore I was a nurse who loved her job and it was my passion, I have lost that. Since the separation I have learnt to cope with alcohol and marijjana (which my x introduced me to). I have been to rehab and detox but has not seemed to help. My past has come up a lot and the pain of sexually abuse as a child, and I don't know how to cope with the pain. I have no family support friendships here. My x has basically had the children for the laSt 2 years and I hate it. I want to be the confident, successful lady I once was, but I have hit rock bottom and don't know how to get out of it. I feel all alone, and no one would even notice if I was not here one day. Please help

Guesy_839 Hurt
  • replies: 8

Hi, So, my mum and dad have little to no relationship with me, and they’ve done things that make me not want a relationship with them anymore. Things like slapping, hitting and I was once chased with a coat hanger. I had a fight with my mum, and she ... View more

Hi, So, my mum and dad have little to no relationship with me, and they’ve done things that make me not want a relationship with them anymore. Things like slapping, hitting and I was once chased with a coat hanger. I had a fight with my mum, and she hit me on the back of the head and told me everyone looks at me with disgust because I’m blunt, maybe a little cynical and I’ve stopped speaking so much. With my dad, he was never there for me and my best friend told me I was probably emotionally neglected. I grew up sad, and spent lots of my early childhood spending as much time as I could at my other friends’ houses, and imagining stories of me having another dad, particually my twin friend’s dad, who we’ll call Felix. Felix adopted my two friends, “Elise” and “Elsa”, and was a great single dad to the girls, which was incredible, as Elise has schizophrenia and Elsa has had childhood anxiety since she was 4. He also has a job that requires him to have like a recording studio or something in his house, and I remember when I was younger, he took 7 kids on a “tour”, and let us record a song. My dad just ignores me, and after things he has said to me, as well as my mum, I don’t want a relationship anymore. They also don’t call me my preferred name, which hurts like hell. I didn’t have a happy childhood, and I’m not happy now. I have no idea what to do. Sierra.

Ms11 Stressed mumma
  • replies: 13

I don’t know where to start. I am married with 2 kids. My husband has barely anything to do with the kids and has little interest in doing anything for them. My children feel like hard work. The older one has huge attitude talks back has no respect a... View more

I don’t know where to start. I am married with 2 kids. My husband has barely anything to do with the kids and has little interest in doing anything for them. My children feel like hard work. The older one has huge attitude talks back has no respect and won’t listen. I’ve been told it’s because she is a spoilt brat. The little one has always been difficult with anger issues and extreme stubbornness and meltdowns. They both take 2 hours to put to bed by the time they do I am so tired I go straight to bed angry that I never get any alone time to wind down. They fight all the time. I have no friends and no family support. My mum helps occasionally but her priorities have recently changed. We are in massive debt due to renovations. Our house does not feel homely because it is always under construction. My job is stressful and emotionally draining. My husband has no interest in spending time with me and we never do anything together. We don’t even celebrate anniversaries. I love travelling but can’t afford it because all of our money is being spent on the house. I have nothing to look forward to. I feel pretty stressed and hopeless at the moment. I feel I just need to vent sorry if I’m offending anyone or sounding selfish

unicornprincess29 Small things starting to annoy me
  • replies: 1

I have a question, just after some opinions I guess: When small things about your partner start to annoy/irritate you, is that a red flag, or is that normal?

I have a question, just after some opinions I guess: When small things about your partner start to annoy/irritate you, is that a red flag, or is that normal?

Belate Why do i exist?
  • replies: 6

My whole life i've felt as though i shouldn't have been born. From the little details i know surrounding my birth i have the feeling as though i am nothing more than a mistake. My parents were only married for around a year before my dad found his ne... View more

My whole life i've felt as though i shouldn't have been born. From the little details i know surrounding my birth i have the feeling as though i am nothing more than a mistake. My parents were only married for around a year before my dad found his new partner and divorced my mum, i think that happened before i was two. My mother also found a new partner years lately both new partners seemly make it their mission to make my life harder than it needs to be. I grew up with both of my parents arguing over custody battles and being moved schools every couple of years. I never could understand why they argued so much seeing as it was over me and it only ever hurt me. I think i was quite a odd child, i was shy but other times i would lose all control of my temper into a fit of rage. I hated (still do) my step parents, my step mother forced me to call her Mum, telling my dad that it was the only way to stop her new child for calling her by her first name and of course he went along with it. She has total control over my dad and will manipulate any situation she can. My step dad has a narcissistic personally cant stand me having anything. He will lie, abuse, manipulate, threat and even turn violent for even the slightest reason. This is the type of man who held his dyeing mother in his hands basically demanding that she couldn't leave him. I spent most of my childhood failing at school, having barely any friends, being bullied and depressed. So many years i feel as though I've been treated as a second grade citizen to everyone and everything. Constantly everyone else's needs have been put before mine and i cant stay that i can every think of a moment where I've felt genuinely loved. I only feel the fake affection my family has given me out of sympathy. They have seen my issues and never quite took them onboard to actually help me with. Half arsed attempts to show others that they have done something about it. Sending me to the school counsellor after i told them i wanted to kill myself, Putting me on Ritalin to help with my school work but making my break downs worse. Ill say that my mum did try. Although i spent most of the childhood watching my step father abuse her verbally and physically. I tried my best to be there for her and protect her even though that was her job for me. These lasts couple of years i find myself waking up angry or sad most days. Feeling totally alone and not able to connect with anyone. All i really want is to be loved by someone.

Blake_Slak ROCD
  • replies: 5

Hi.... Well this is the first forum ive ever been apart of about this stuff.. Im 24 and have had a myriad of anxiety problems in the past....health anxiety...general anxiety and just about every form of anxiety you could have. This one has really got... View more

Hi.... Well this is the first forum ive ever been apart of about this stuff.. Im 24 and have had a myriad of anxiety problems in the past....health anxiety...general anxiety and just about every form of anxiety you could have. This one has really got me to make a thread and ask help because this is something that i dont want to do the wrong thing. I have been with my current gf for 7 months now....she is an angel of a girl...best girl ive ever met, treats me well and also understands i do have anxiety issues. As of recently have been having higher than normal anxiety....lost my job so have alot of time to ruminate....we talk alot and we see eachother alot...why am i asking myself the question "do i love her?" i know i do but for some reason i keep asking that question and because i ask that question it makes me think "if u really did you wouldnt ask this" but then the thought of her not being in my life legit makes my stomach drop which is why i am making this thread. Alongside this i saw another thread poster who mentioned the thought of breaking up with them is because it may rid them of this constant questioning please help, i can deal with other anxietys about health and what not but this has really gotten to me and its making me depressed because i do not want to lose her...she is 1 in 10000.