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lonely and struggling with fertility treatment

Community Member

i am feeling very lonely after about 18 months of doing IVF.

i have told a few family and friends, all were supportive initially but most seem to be too busy to take much of an interest really.

one friend told me last week that she thinks i ought to give up and accept that i will never be a mum. i found this very hurtful and she hasn't apologised so i may have to leave that friendship as i'm continuing to try for a baby.

i feel really tired and lonely and i'm worried about becoming depressed as i've been there before.

have made an appointment to see my Dr on thursday but that is 5 days away and i'm feeling a little aggitated today.

any advice appreciated!

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Rainbowballongirl~

Many people do not know much about IVF, the cycles and hormones and their effects, as well as constant disappointments. It was an education for me to watch a close family member go though this for a long time prior to success.

I'm afraid it is human nature to show less interest and support over long periods for things like this, particularly if they don't really understand, and that can be very hurtful and make oyu feel very alone.

I think it is wise to see your doctor to guard against depression, not only for now but after if you are lucky enough for a baby to come.

Do you think your friend said that out of concern for you? Watching someone repeatedly going though the cycles might lead them to wonder if your suffering is worth it. Insensitive maybe, but not necessarily trying to be unkind.

It may well be you can get more support from other people that are going though the same thing themselves. Does you clinic have a support group? If not maybe ringing our 24/7 help line might steer you towards a group in you area.

Do you have a partner who gives you support and care?