Hi I’m Tonielle,
i have been a single mum for the entire time I have been a mother my daughter is 4. My daughters father only has something to do with her when it suits him. I am just reaching out for some people to talk to that understand the difficulties of being a single parent.
Speaking as a father that has been alienated and "erased" from his childrens lives might not be in the same situation, but we share similar worries over our children. What is it that is troubling you? if I can help with some advice I would happily give it
That is a difficult one to answer, and if I was in your position, I would be worried about much the same thing as well.
Through experience and advice from others though, I think I would come to a conclusion where I think its best to give credit to the intelligence of your daughter, she will see how you act around her and not restrict her father, yet also work out that around him there is a feeling of his distracted behavior around her. She will work out that it was never your fault, and probably for the best for both you and her father (although it might not stop her pushing the boundaries from time to time, as all kids will do).
In the end it wont really matter how she may believe, this can all be straightened out in the future when it happens (it may never happen because she had worked it out anyway, hence my first point) by being open to her as a parent should. What matters is how your daughter feels about you being a parent to her, and the bond you 2 share, thats where I imagine I would draw my strength from if I was in either you or your daughters shoes.
This is mere speculation from me though, but that doesnt stop me wanting to help you by offering a kind word as support either.