I can't cope while my boyfriend is away.

[StaticGhost]

I have severe separation anxiety with my boyfriend, whenever he has to leave me, I get extremely depressed. After finding out he is leaving I immediately start to breakdown. I begin screaming my lungs out and crying uncontrollably. This continues on for an extremely long time.

Ever since I was little I've always sort of clung to people, I would cling to my friends at school, my parents, my sisters, and now with my boyfriend. I have a huge fear of abandonment and have been abandoned in the past by one of my friends, this is what triggered my fear and depression.

I can't live like this anymore, I feel like this is putting a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend so much but right now, he is the only person I feel comfortable around and that just feels wrong. I never spend time with anyone else because I only want to be around him. It's like I have an obsession with him. Things can't go on like this.

[Emmen]

Dear StaticGhost,

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with separation anxiety. Things can feel difficult right now, but you're doing good in recognising what your problem is and what it stems from (the abandonment). Considering that it has been a lifelong struggle, I wonder if you'd be willing to see a counsellor to help you work through these issues.

I'd also suggest working with your partner to help you get used to him leaving. Is there something he can do to make it easier for you? If yes, communicate with him about what that may be. Getting a hobby may help too, since it'll give you something to look forward to that does not require his presence, and it'll serve as a good distraction when he is away as well.

Take care,
M