Hello and welcome to the forum.
I’m really sorry that you’ve felt lonely and that you’ve never had a girlfriend. Hugs to you.
I’m sure that being neurodivergent has many positive aspects but understand how the need to read social cues for positive social interactions and relationships is challenging for you.
Having said that, your post was beautifully written, showing great insight into yourself and a generous attitude towards being there for a future partner. You also mention that you have friends, leading me to believe that your social skills are probably better than you think. And the good news is that you can learn how to improve your skills.
I’d like to recommend that you seek to read a book, written by someone who is neurodivergent, about how to improve your social skills and have a successful relationship. There are many available, so do a Google search and pick some that look like they will meet your needs. You can either buy them or borrow them from the library.
You can also seek help with this from a mental health professional or a family member or friend.
Facebook also offers several support groups for neurodivergent people.
Treat it like a research project. Then you need to practice. Don’t be afraid to make some mistakes, because everyone does (neurodivergent or not!) and that’s how you will improve.
I believe that in time you will have some wins, build confidence and ultimately succeed. I say this because you are obviously bright, sensitive and want to learn.
Happy to talk more, post anytime.
Kind thoughts to you
