Hurting from the unknown
My name is Ben and this is my first post. I'm looking for some advice/support.
I had met someone a couple of years back and we have been staying in contact via Skype. I'm not quite sure how I'd label our relationship but I have strong feelings for her but unfortunately our distance makes it hard for anything to develop at the moment. Therefore I use exercise and working towards buying my first house as a way to keep my mind focused and to not delve into living in a fantasy world. A few weeks ago I lost complete contact with her and not sure if she has deleted me or there is a technical issue with Skype (as I have read that this has happened before) I have tried to get in contact with her but to no avail. I don't want to come across as needy or being a nuisance but the unknown thoughts are hurting me deeply as I am so confused and scared I may never have contact with her again.
Just for some background on me I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic a lot when things are not working. At the moment I don't feel like doing anything other then crawling up and laying in bed or turning to alcohol to help me be happy and not worry so much. I hope this isn't stupid but I do care for this person very much and it feels like this situation has taken over my life.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Hi Ben....forgive me for being late in responding. I just read your post and felt your heartbreak.
After all the great support and help I have read above from Anony18, Sydney the legend and Geoff I just wanted to offer you my support.
There is nothing you have said that is stupid at all....and you weren't trapped in a fantasy world.... You are exactly the opposite by having the strength to post and good on you! There is no crime in having a broken heart
I miss my girlfriend from early 2015 and I do feel your pain.
Just my humble support for you Ben
I can be better. My partner was meant to come to dinner last night and I had this plan that we can talk to sort things out. But he said he had a slight headache and didn't come in end. I been calling and texted a few messages to see if he is ok but no response - so it is a struggle not knowing if and when we will talk.
Good to hear you hung out with mates and had good moments. It is tough not being able to shut those bad thoughts away. I know the feeling. But definitely keep talking here and try keep busy. With time hopefully the bad moments will subside and there be more good moments.
I hope your partner will be in contact soon. I'm trying to keep fairly busy today but hasn't been a day where I can think clearly, might just be a Monday thing. I'm hoping to get through today and relax when I get home, hopefully my mind will allow me to rest.
Nothing too exciting just work which has been busy. I still get moments where my mind seems to want to do the opposite of what I'd like it to do, but I'm starting to see a bit of light coming through. Managed to go for a couple of runs this week and hopefully one tomorrow and have definitely got my appetite back after it went missing for a while. I still fear moments where I may break down but feel progress has been made.
How have you been going? Any plans for the weekend?
Thanks for keeping in touch.
That is great to hear your appetite is coming back and you can see a bit of light. A small progress is always a positive thing 🙂 It's hard not to fear that you break down. If you got to cry do it. Doesn't matter if you are a guy!
My week been fairly ok. Definitely more upbeat than last week. Think my dance classes been helping. But I still get moments of feeling slightly down. Work been busy though to point I forget eat breakfast and it's no wonder am hungry at 11am!
Have high tea with a few girls on Sat then Sunday a family brunch.
How about yourself?