Hurting from the unknown
My name is Ben and this is my first post. I'm looking for some advice/support.
I had met someone a couple of years back and we have been staying in contact via Skype. I'm not quite sure how I'd label our relationship but I have strong feelings for her but unfortunately our distance makes it hard for anything to develop at the moment. Therefore I use exercise and working towards buying my first house as a way to keep my mind focused and to not delve into living in a fantasy world. A few weeks ago I lost complete contact with her and not sure if she has deleted me or there is a technical issue with Skype (as I have read that this has happened before) I have tried to get in contact with her but to no avail. I don't want to come across as needy or being a nuisance but the unknown thoughts are hurting me deeply as I am so confused and scared I may never have contact with her again.
Just for some background on me I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic a lot when things are not working. At the moment I don't feel like doing anything other then crawling up and laying in bed or turning to alcohol to help me be happy and not worry so much. I hope this isn't stupid but I do care for this person very much and it feels like this situation has taken over my life.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Thanks for your concern. Still really hurts, losing a friend I really cared for. I've tried hard to keep my mind busy and listen to a few podcast that can bring a smile to my face. Unfortunately there is a lot of time at work for me to start thinking this, but try to battle through. At least now I know the only way is forward as there is no point in going back or hanging in limbo as I had been.
It definitely hurts losing someone you really cared for. The most important thing is to try keep yourself occupied. I know how tough it can be at times - today that is what is happening to me. It is a bit of a tougher day for me emotionally. Keep listening to your podcasts which bring a smile to your face.
Have you made plans with your friends this weekend?
That is really good to hear!
I do keep fairly busy but today my thoughts make it a bit hard to concentrate much - hence on this forum a bit more frequently. Been a week since I have heard from my partner (after the slight frustration he expressed) so it is the unknown of whether we are still together and if he still wants me around for support as he goes through this rough time. I have tried giving him the space to fix himself so am hoping that he firstly doesn't think I abandoned him and secondly he will reach out soon. Will be texting him tomorrow as it is his birthday and let him know that am still around so think tomorrow may be a tougher day for me - unless he responds!
Definitely agree this is a good place for support! Just today is a bit of a rougher day I am experiencing.
So I sent him a birthday message and he responded with a Thank you which is such a relief! Still have this slightly anxious feeling lingering though. Think it is the worry for him and his situation but I just have to wait til he talks to me so I can see what been happening.