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How my dad's personality change is affecting my life

Community Member

Up until 2013, my dad had been a good man. He was always positive, never raised his raise, was morally supportive of me and always wanted to make me laugh.

In late 2012, me and my family moved from Adelaide, South Australia to Melbourne, Victoria. We settled in a city apartment building. A month or so later, dad changed, almost overnight.

For example, I had poor sleeping patterns at the time and would sleep in late in the morning. My dad would come in at 10am or so and tell me to get up because the day is going by. Once he said in a intimidating warning voice: "You haven't been staying up all night, have you?"

The big change really happened when my dad accompanied me to my mental health clinic for an appointment. He then let out a rage at my mental health counsellors and accused them of not doing their job by supporting me. He was aggressive, quite not himself. He was pointing his finger at the head counsellor, who was a pregnant woman.

Since then, he had been very angry and bitter, at me in particular. As of the past year, my dad would get angry over little daily things and yell at me.

Me and my dad don't talk in daily life ever. My dad refuses to talk to me, and only talks to mum. If I start a conversation with mum, mum would talk then dad would enter the conversation, but talk only with mum.

It upsets me that my dad has had a major personality change. He is in his 60s so I don't know if he's developing dementia. I want to move out but don't have a job that can support me so I'm stuck living with him and his constant scolding and bitterness.

Here's a recent story: one morning, he took the 2L milk bottle out to make his tea. I made cereal with the milk, but was not aware he wanted the milk for his tea. I put the milk away in the fridge, and my dad scolded me, calling me an "ignoramus". I scolded him back and explained I would never put away milk knowing he would want it.

I know I'm writing a lot here, but he's making my daily life a living hell and I can't believe this is the same man who supported and entertained me when I was younger.

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello ScarlettR, it must be very painful to see this change with your dad and I don't think it seems to be dementia, although I'm not qualified to say, only a doctor could do this, however I will wait until someone who has experience in 'Bipolar Affective Disorder' can help you, all I can say is that this affects the mood of your father, I maybe wrong.
The other point is that if you are receiving a centrelink payment then they will provide the bond money for a flat, unit or house as well as provide rent assistance which will get you to be able move out from your parents home, and from what I can see this is something you should consider.
Your dad does need to see a doctor which you won't be able to tell him and I also believe your mum would have a difficult job at even trying to mention it to him. Geoff.