Hi, welcome
It isnt a good feeling with major surgery and possibly ramifications from that procedure.
Throughout our lives, bit like Russian Roulette really, we humans can go through life like my neighbour and not have one issue health wise. In his case 65yo now, he has been told he has fibromyalgia a quite common problem that is manageable but to him his world has crumbled. Yet I have several physical and mental illness issues and I fight on because I have no life threats and issues have been ongoing for a long time.
So our temperament, endurance and severity of the health issue is all different. Along those same lines they can cause depression as the symptoms manifest causing effects on our life as we knew it. Some like myself have had several life crisis and survived them, I reflect and realise months or years later that I can survive them and appreciate life so much including my family. We do have to consider those we love.
I'm a great advocate of distraction. Many people face these hurdles in life but dont have other significant interests that provides such distraction like sports, hobbies and interests. But males have another significant problem.
Re:- "always been the strong one of family" There's a saying "who cares for the carer"? Who will care for you? I suggest this is more your psychological feeling than lack of care from your wife but only you can determine that, we men are dressed in armour until we are not.
For that reason and its a strong one, your first stop is your GP and any referrals. Group therapy is another avenue. Or you can continue to post here as an ongoing chat until you feel you can manage ok. You are actually talking to people that have life experiences in mental illnesses and life itself. That can be a great advantage up until you need professional care.
So I hope that help you
Reply anytime I'm here daily or others might respond
TonyWK
