Help please with first date

[Elsam]

I met a wonderful guy and fell in love with him at first sight when I saw him on an online dating site, I am totally smitten with this man.

Our first date was a dinner date at a beautiful restaurant and after dinner he invited me back to his place.

He got the red wine out and then we became intimate and I spent the night with him.

He sent me a video during the week and we had a couple of messages between us, then stupid me sent this message this afternoon.

Hope you are well
and had a nice weekend...
I can’t help but feel you were trying to tell me something through the Swiss video?
I feel so disappointed, as we had so much in common and could have a great time together.
I think you were great, I respect you and wanted to get to know you as a friend...
Mary xx

I have been having huge anxiety attacks over this, he replied this evening:

Sorry been really busy, and wrapping up things before I leave. No, there wasn't a "hidden" message in the video, I wouldn't do that. Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!
Hope you had a nice weekend and no Monday Blues today!

How do I reply to this message from him without scaring him off, but at the same time I want to tell him I am attracted to him and would love to see him again.

This whole dating game is new to me as I was married for 25 years

Thank you in advance

[M2]

It really depends on the guy, but from the information you have provided I would suggest yes, it is a good chance he is interested.

My advice would be to not pin too many hopes on any one individual or any one encounter. Instead, be open to life's opportunities as they come up. It is just as likely that the next guy might be a great guy that you hit it off with.

[geoff]

Hello Mary, instead of waiting for him to text back to you why don't you try and ring him, then you know from the way he's talking how this relationship is going to eventuate.

I hope his response is a positive one and if so, meet him again.

To answer the question you've asked me wouldn't be appropriate to answer until you speak with him, then I can answer it for you, good luck and please let us know what you decide on doing.

Geoff.

[Juliet_84]

Hi Elsam,

I don’t think you should read too much into the “things went very vast during our rendezvous, and that’s unlike me”. I think he was just trying to reassure you that he doesn’t do that with all women. I think you response was good and lighthearted. If he is not responding as much he’s perhaps just settling into a more usual pattern for him. Or he could possibly be trying to keep things at a relatively casual pace. I’m not too sure what his reasons were for dating - did he say during your date whether he was interested in a relationship (in a general sense) or keeping things casual?

[Elsam]

Hi all

Thank you for your support and advice.

Regarding my dinner date with a guy I am totally smitten with and we were intimate that night.

His first message to me was:


Things went very fast during our first rendezvous and that’s unlike me tho!


My response to him on Tuesday was:


We can blame the Shiraz for things moving very fast during our first rendezvous.
I then asked if he would like to catch up one weekend for a coffee and walk in the park.

Yes, let’s do that....
Having said what I said tho, I never regret anything. I cherish it.
How has your week been?

Where he says having said what I said tho! I am taking that as his comment about things moving very fast during our first rendezvous! Am I correct ??

I have been freaking out thinking he was not going to respond and had ghosted me.
He responded this evening. I am so excited and just want to see how others interpret his message.

I took this message as meaning he never regretted things moving so fast during our first rendezvous and becoming intimate and that he cherishes that night we had together

I am just overthinking it all and having an anxiety attack at the moment.

I really want things to work with this man, I am trying to hold back and not chase him but am so happy he has agreed to catch up for a coffee.

Thank you

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, I wouldn't worry too much, when two people happen to go back to someone's place they have a feeling for that person, otherwise this wouldn't happen, and one thing leads onto another, this may not have been intended, but a look in each other's eyes and bingo.

Neither of you had expected this to happen and remember he may be feeling exactly the same way as you are, so if you can just anticipate having a coffee together and have no regrets on what happened between the two of you, push it aside and just remember it as being pleasurable and now focus on getting to know him more, I'm sure that's what he'll be wanting to do with you.

If you like him then by all means chase him, he'll let you know how he's feeling.

Enjoy yourself.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

Thank you Geoff

I am totally smitten with this guy, but can’t chase him and scare him off.

Hopefully he is feeling the same way I am, as he has backed off bit.
Maybe he is just wanting to slow things down between us

Once we catch up for a coffee I will have a clearer understanding but in the meantime his messages are giving me huge mixed signals

I want to tell him how attracted I am to him but it is far too early I think.

Once we meet again, I will know how to react with him more

We do need to get to know each other more but not sure if he is as full on as me at the moment.

I did say to him in a message last night:

It would be great to catch up...
Let me know a day that suits you to meet...
We are so similar in so many ways.
I never have regrets either, life is too short to be unhappy.

M 😍

[Elsam]

I over analyze and overthink everything which causes my terrible anxiety and paranoia 😫🥺

Can someone please give me their interpretation of these messages?

Message from him:

Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!

My message back:

We can blame the Shiraz for our first rendez-vous moving so fast.. 🍷🍷
Would you like to catch up one weekend for a Coffee and a walk in the park before you leave?

His response:

Yes, let's do that.... having said what I said tho, I never regret anything, I cherish it.

My last response, have not yet received a reply:

It would be great to catch up...
Let me know a day that suits you to meet...
We are so similar in so many ways.
I never have regrets either, life is too short to be unhappy.

I don’t get these comments from him and can’t get my head around them ????

Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!

Next minute he is saying:

Having said what I said tho, I never regret anything, I cherish it.

Someone please give me your opinion on his comments, they are playing with my head ?????

Is he trying to say he doesn’t regret things moving very fast during our first rendezvous and that he cherishes that night with me ????

[Guest_4643]

hi Elsam/Mary, welcome.

the guy sounds nice from what you wrote, or am i misunderstanding? i don't know about dating since i never have myself, but i hope it goes well for you. sorry i can't assist further but i'm here for you. i'm not sure what he means, sorry. guys can be odd.

[Elsam]

@mb20lover

Thank you for the message, much appreciated.

He is so nice, that’s why I am head over heels for him but he is making me anxious and my paranoia is making me feel like he is distancing himself.

Maybe he isn’t, maybe it’s just my stupid head playing games!!!

He did say Yes, let’s do that....

But I still have no confirmation from him.

i want to chase him so badly but am stopping myself because of the fear of scaring him off.

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, this reminds me so much of having an appointment with someone you're definitely keen on, but at my age, know it's not possible, but it still makes me nervous when I see her, my legs turn into jelly, but always have a doubt about what we can talk about, but it turns out to be easy, the conversation just flows easily, I hope this will happen with you.

Remember he too, maybe as nervous, but as soon as you both have a laugh will start to relax both of you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.