Hi Steve,
You are in the eye of the storm right now, and I understand you must feel very disorientated with a million different emotions swirling around in your brain. So what you need to do right now is just focus on the most basic things necessary for survival, don’t think about the future etc, that can wait.
Get out of bed and have a shower. Some days you won’t be able to manage this and that’s ok. Get yourself a lawyer you can trust and then just do what they tell you to do.
I can tell you that pretty much every single person who’s had the breakdown of a long-term relationship or marriage has been where you are right now. It’s horrible, everything feels foreign and strange, but yet reminds you of them, the sun feels too bright, your skin too sensitive, you think that you will never find someone again, you put your rose-coloured glasses on and remember all the wonderful times. But this will pass, you will get used to your new normal, and then you will start to like it, you’ll remember all the things that were wrong, and you’ll find your happiness starting to return, and then you will eventually start dating and you’ll fall in love again. It’s a slow process but you just need to trust that it will get better. Your wife may want one thing but that doesn’t necessarily mean that is how it will play out. So I think it is best to get a lawyer and see what they say before listening to your wife.
