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Community Member
Hello I'm new here. I have been separated from my family for 65 days now and haven't seen my kids . My wife of 20yrs wants to leave me . She wants to keep the kids with limited visitation. I don't know how I will get through this.
4 Replies 4

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

hey Steve Thank you for posting and welcome,

im so sorry to hear what your going through I cant imagine how your feeling that is a lot to experience at one time but just remember everything will be okay just take it day by day and look after yourself
There is always support here on the forums

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Steve B2,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im really sorry this has happened to you.

Im sure you miss your children terribly.

Have you been able to speak to a lawyer in regards to organising visitation with your children?

Stay strong…. You need to stay strong and level headed so you can get through this….

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Steve,

You are in the eye of the storm right now, and I understand you must feel very disorientated with a million different emotions swirling around in your brain. So what you need to do right now is just focus on the most basic things necessary for survival, don’t think about the future etc, that can wait.
Get out of bed and have a shower. Some days you won’t be able to manage this and that’s ok. Get yourself a lawyer you can trust and then just do what they tell you to do.
I can tell you that pretty much every single person who’s had the breakdown of a long-term relationship or marriage has been where you are right now. It’s horrible, everything feels foreign and strange, but yet reminds you of them, the sun feels too bright, your skin too sensitive, you think that you will never find someone again, you put your rose-coloured glasses on and remember all the wonderful times. But this will pass, you will get used to your new normal, and then you will start to like it, you’ll remember all the things that were wrong, and you’ll find your happiness starting to return, and then you will eventually start dating and you’ll fall in love again. It’s a slow process but you just need to trust that it will get better. Your wife may want one thing but that doesn’t necessarily mean that is how it will play out. So I think it is best to get a lawyer and see what they say before listening to your wife.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Steve, this must be an awful experience and if I can suggest you look at getting a mediator which you can do by 'how do I contact a mediator' or 'free family mediation victoria' or if you are in another state then try that.

They will decide on an amicable solution between you and your wife with visitation rights to see your kids, hopefully, that will be 50/50 as well who retains the household belongings in a fair way.

If you go to court it will take a long drawn and very expensive outcome, so try a mediator.

Good luck.