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Heartbroken

Heartbroken_Mum
Community Member
My teenage boys don't want to have a relationship with me due to me leaving their dad nearly a year ago (they decided to stay with him) they blame me for our family failing and I feel heartbroken I have tried to respect their wishes but it kills me not being in their lives when I had an amazing close relationship with them from the minute they were born I miss them so much and feel so guilty for leaving them any advice appreciated
3 Replies 3

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Mum, firstly can I say how sorry I am for you, but maybe I can say what happened with me, my wife did the same and divorced me and neither son didn't want anything to do with my ex or myself, so the whole situation was very disturbing, the house that we had rebuilt and always thought we would be living there forever had to be sold, so it was pretty traumatic for them, because they loved the house and the 8 acres it was on.
It took me a great deal of time trying to contact them without any luck, but I had to persevere and eventually I got in contact with them, the conversation was quick and short and not showing any amount of love towards me, but I kept trying and eventually found out where they were living and went down to see them.
Fortunately they were living with some of their mates who greeted me at the door and let me in, that's when everything changed, I had them back, and now our r/ship couldn't be any stronger.
For whatever reason you left your husband was your decision, and maybe your sons don't know the full story, and your husband is only going to exaggerate why it happened, never the less this shouldn't stop you from trying to contact them, either when they are apart or both together, and if you want them back then don't give up, it may take a while, never the less keep trying. Geoff.

Jessicatherese94
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Mum, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. My heart goes out to you. How is your relationship with your ex partner? Maybe you could have some mediation or something similar with him in order to work out how things are going to go from here on in? Are you currently seeing a psychologist or something similar? I think that might be a good idea because this is such a life change for you. I agree with Geoff that you should keep trying to have them back in your life, and maybe in time they will want to be with you again - you are their mother after all. Sometimes teenage boys can be this way. I want you to know it's not your fault and that it's best to be out of a relationship you're not happy in. Wishing you all the best.

Marko52
Community Member
I can assure you with absolute certainty (providing you arent a junkie or alcoholic or abuser)that your kids will end up having a relationship with you. When they grow up and or have their own kids