Fifopartner

[Guest_14017005]

Hi to whoever is reading this

I wanted to know if anyone else is struggling like I am… I moved to Brisbane in 2024 and met my now partner soon after, we have been living together and growing together since then. 

8 months ago he started doing fifo (2 weeks on, 1 off) I have tried my best to be supportive and I know he has goals he wants to achieve but I am struggling so much being away from each other. 
Him changing jobs isn’t an option, me going out there isn’t right now, I really struggle on the first few days… 

I really miss him and I feel sad, I feel angry, I feel upset, by the time he gets home I feel like I put walls back up, I resent him and I struggle to get the connection back the way it was, by the time he leaves again everything is good, but it’s a constant loop and I’m happy then sad and I want to know if anyone else has felt like this? 

I don’t have family here, hardly any friends, it’s very lonely, I’ve tried putting myself out there but it’s like dating trying to make friends in your 30s. 

I also do try and keep busy but I have no motivation for anything when he’s gone. I also do work full time so I have routine but I am very unhappy. 

Any advice would really be appreciated 

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi there,

A warm welcome to the forums! Thank you for being open and reaching out. Although I have never been in your shoes, I hope to make a few helpful suggestions.

Firstly, all of the sadness, anger and loneliness you feel is valid and understandable. It’s without a doubt that long-distance relationships can be extremely difficult. Don’t beat yourself over how you feel, it’s ok to not be ok right now. 

I want to ask if you have told your partner how this has been affecting you? If so, has he been understanding and supportive? If you are hiding your feelings from him, I fear this will put a rift in the relationship. Always be open and express how you truly feel, even if it is over the phone when he is away. I know it is hard, but if he is open-minded and loving, I’m sure he will understand. Perhaps he is even feeling the same way being away from you. 

Is there anything you might like to try to keep yourself occupied? It can be anything, like watching a movie or going for a walk. I know you mentioned lacking motivation, but perhaps you could break down something into smaller chunks so it seems more manageable? Like if you wanted to work out for example, maybe you could slowly build up your time exercising. Or rewarding yourself afterwards with a treat. 

I know you said you don’t have family around you, but do you speak to them over the phone? In any relationship, it’s important to have positive connections with others as well, and feel comfortable on your own too, otherwise you might co-depend on your significant other. I would recommend practicing some self-care, so please look after yourself! You said you have a work routine which is great, but maybe you could have some sort of a routine outside of work as well when you’re on your own like tasks/activities to do to keep you busy.

I can’t stress enough how important communication is. Be honest and talk to him about how not only you are feeling, but get his perspective too. Lastly, try to have some patience. Everyone who I’ve heard being in a long-distance relationship has always said how hard it is. You’re not alone. You are stronger than you think.

I hope this helps. I’m sure you will get different perspectives here on the forums of those who are/have been in your shoes. Keep reaching out, and I hope things get a bit better for you today 🙂

[smallwolf]

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you’re a long way from family and familiar support, which must make everything feel even harder.

I hope you don;t mind but a lot of questions cam to mind... I don't like making assumptions etc.

Have you been able to talk with him about how you’re feeling when he’s away? If you have, how did that conversation go?

What sorts of things do you usually enjoy doing for yourself? Hobbies, interests, anything that normally gives you a bit of relief?

And what are the people at work like? Or are they just colleagues, Is there anyone you feel comfortable talking to there or family?

I'm listening if you want to share a little more of your story...and fwiw... how you feel sounds normal. You'rte married, but there is part of you (him) missing each day. It sucks!